[00:00:00] Speaker A: I'm Lila Rhee. And I'm Nick B. Listen, we're just two single girls from the city of roses discussing all things love, lust, and perception. And roses are a symbol of all.
[00:00:09] Speaker B: Things beautiful about love.
[00:00:11] Speaker A: But as you know, love can get a little dirty, so we're here to talk about it. Dirty Roses podcast starts now. Hey, I'm Lila Ree.
[00:00:19] Speaker B: And I'm Charlisa Shadowbox.
[00:00:21] Speaker A: I'm my guest host. Okay. I like it. All season, almost all season long. We got you here with us. I'm so happy. I know our girl Nick B. Is out here taking care of herself and her health, and she's doing this whole wellness journey. She'll be back next season, though, and I'm excited for y' all to see what she's got going on. So make sure y' all follow her. But Ms. Milani, vegan hair care extraordinaire. And now body care.
[00:00:44] Speaker B: And body care.
[00:00:45] Speaker A: And now we found out it does something else. This specific product. Very specific behind the scenes that it does something else. But we going to stick to its purpose and its natural things. Tell me what products you got for us today.
[00:00:56] Speaker B: Today we are diving more into the body care. So our new item is the golden indulgence body oil, which I absolutely love because it really does just help, like, seal in the moisture. Right now we're getting ready to get into our super cold season. Oh, my gosh. So I highly, highly recommend using this in addition with the body care cream.
[00:01:18] Speaker A: Yes, yes.
[00:01:19] Speaker B: And following up with a nice little oil back is the way that they like to playfully name it, but it's like, filled with super, you know, action packed oils such as babassu oil, sweet almond oil. It is amazing for even those that have super sensitive skin. Yes. And again, I did touch on that. You can get creative with how to use it, whether it be like a.
[00:01:39] Speaker A: Massage oil, which I have done. And it's amazing.
[00:01:42] Speaker B: Yes, exactly. So I really love this. And it comes in different seasonal scents. So this is the Issey Miyake, which is more of our, like, masculine scent, which I love.
[00:01:50] Speaker A: And that smells. It's like a subtle, masculine scent.
[00:01:54] Speaker B: It is. It's not like, overbearing.
[00:01:56] Speaker A: Right. It's the perfect scent. And again, great for massages.
[00:01:58] Speaker B: Hello. And it definitely gives. It just gives like, maybe like somebody who can fix things. Got a good, decent credit score.
[00:02:04] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:02:05] Speaker B: Okay, Come on.
[00:02:08] Speaker A: We doing.
[00:02:08] Speaker B: We're manifesting men in a bottle.
[00:02:11] Speaker A: I love it. I love it. Okay, Come to.
Come to us, men.
[00:02:15] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:02:15] Speaker A: Literally in the show on Us and around us. Yes.
Yo, I'm so excited today because we are doing listener letters and y' all really came through with these ones. Oh, they are juicy, they are funny. And one of them came with a photo, which we love to be able to share. I could share a blurred out version.
[00:02:36] Speaker B: You could share a blur just to give an idea.
[00:02:39] Speaker A: The.
The brevity of it.
[00:02:41] Speaker B: The brevity, Yeah.
[00:02:43] Speaker A: I just like that word. I don't know if I'm using it in the right context, but.
[00:02:45] Speaker B: And I might be saying it wrong too, but, you know, it sounds.
[00:02:48] Speaker A: We're gonna write it out. Right, But.
So have you ever submitted a letter for advice from like, those advice columns or anything before?
[00:02:55] Speaker B: I have, actually.
[00:02:57] Speaker A: Really?
[00:02:57] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:02:58] Speaker A: Shut the front door.
[00:02:59] Speaker B: Yeah, I have. I have.
[00:03:01] Speaker A: How'd that go?
[00:03:02] Speaker B: You know, I didn't get the advice that I wanted.
Cause I don't be really wanting advice.
[00:03:08] Speaker A: She wanted validation, not advice. Exactly.
[00:03:11] Speaker B: How dare you tell me that I'm wrong? Like, what are you talking about? So, yeah, I have made the mistake of doing that, you know. Cause I think that we are leaving yourself open for other people's, like, you know, perceptions and things like that. You can find a different bit of insight with things. So I love the letters that have.
[00:03:29] Speaker A: Been sent this season. So if y' all hadn't followed us before, prior to Dirty Roses podcast starting, I was doing this thing called Lee Laree's Love Lounge. And it was a social media experiment that I did where, you know, I just kind of got bored. And a lot of my friends come to me with, like, their dating advice or like, they're asking for advice. I was married at the time, so they would tell me their stories. And this is kind of how the podcast got started. But tell me their stories. They would ask questions and it got to a point to where people were like, literally submitting stuff to me to ask and post about it anonymously, of course, and to get everybody's input and feedback. And it was a really great way to curate some really good conversations.
Loved it.
But I will tell you that one thing. I won't say I did advice, but I did go on a dating site.
[00:04:14] Speaker B: I was gonna say.
[00:04:15] Speaker A: And I went live on the dating.
[00:04:17] Speaker B: Site, which is even braver because at least I had the safety of sending something anonymously. Able to walk away. Yeah, you are a G for that.
[00:04:26] Speaker A: Yo. So there is a.
I'm gonna say her name. Cause. Shout out. Shout out. Kendra G. Kendra G. Is dope. So she's got this dating platform which I want to say is, like, primarily focused on black individuals and singles. But there's.
[00:04:43] Speaker B: Dating is different.
[00:04:44] Speaker A: It is, but, you know, there's. There's some sprinkles in there, and I'm not mad at it, but. But it felt like that community. It was a different dating site than what I've normally seen. Like the. The.
[00:04:53] Speaker B: The Blk.
[00:04:54] Speaker A: Yes. All those.
Lord forbid, Facebook dating.
[00:04:59] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:04:59] Speaker A: Tinders and all those things.
[00:05:01] Speaker B: Yeah, it was.
[00:05:01] Speaker A: It was different. She curated this very specifically. So she had this really great app, and then she would do these things where she would go live on Facebook, Instagram, you know, YouTube and all the things. And then people would join her live and they would share about their preferences or, you know, who they are. She would ask them very specific questions. Every single person got the same question, so you had to, you know, share. And then she did this thing called. She calls it the Kendra cam, where you stand up and you kind of back away from the camera so they can see your full body, so there ain't no catfishing out here. And then, you know, she'll show your profile and everything.
So I watch it all the time, and I was like, oh, these are really good.
So I had chatted with the guy who actually did it. So he went on and talked about it. He was really dope. Hey, friend, how are you doing?
But he had got a really great response. Like, it was, you know, divorcee, you know, like, you know, trying to get out there and restart his life. And he felt like a regular person, which was nice. So, you know, I kind of might have reached out and been like, hey, you know, hey, person. You know, hey, big head. And we chatted for a minute. We had a really great conversation, really good initial chemistry.
And then he was like, yeah, you should totally do it. Like, he was really encouraging me because he got such great feedback.
[00:06:07] Speaker B: I mean, people were like, I don't know why, though.
[00:06:08] Speaker A: Because he was a guy, right? And a normal guy. Like, nothing was wrong with him. Nothing was.
[00:06:13] Speaker B: Cause how dare we be looking for love? I just.
[00:06:15] Speaker A: I don't know. And so. And I thought because he was a divorcee and all the things, I was like, okay, great. They're not. It's not one of them things where people. They do troll, but it didn't feel like that vibe in this group.
So I went on the next day, and I got invited to be on the live, and I went on.
And then. Motherfuckers ate me the fuck up.
I tell you, I regretted it instantaneously.
[00:06:39] Speaker B: Here's why it pissed Me off because it shouldn't. But I feel like that's why I said you were a G for that. Because let's just realize, like, people really do only show up. They don't show up to bring, like, value and bring substance to the Internet, especially if they're someone who's watching. Right? They really are just showing up to have to talk shit.
[00:06:58] Speaker A: That part. So, yeah. So I'm okay with sharing what they said because, I mean, it's laughable now in the moment, though. I ain't gonna lie. I was in my feelings for real.
[00:07:07] Speaker B: No.
[00:07:08] Speaker A: But. So what happened was I got a live one of the. So this person who had hit me up in my inbox on the dating app a long time ago, we did not click at all, saw me on the live and called me while I was doing the live. So if anybody knows phones, if you're doing a live and you get a phone call, it'll knock you off the live, Right?
Leading up to this point, I'm talking about I'm divorced after 21 years, you know, of a relationship. I have three kids. One is growing out the house. I still got two in the home. They're 8 and 15.
You know, divorced. You know, all the things, right? I'm looking for love. I'm looking. I'm list some of my things. My list of expectations was not crazy or ridiculous. It was very regular, not unreasonable.
However, these people will call. I'm a linebacker.
I was big.
I should have stayed with my husband.
[00:07:59] Speaker B: Like, which is the craziest advice, right?
[00:08:01] Speaker A: How dare I get divorced and have three kids and be looking for somebody? Because who wants a woman with three kids?
They do. And it was, I should just go back to my husband, or how pathetic am I for looking for love when he didn't even want me. It was some of the meanest things I've ever seen talked about.
[00:08:19] Speaker B: The Internet is on him.
[00:08:21] Speaker A: Yeah. And then when my phone went out because the call came in, he was a hater then because really, like, you.
[00:08:27] Speaker B: Know that I'm live and you know that it's real time. Why are you freaking out that part.
[00:08:33] Speaker A: So then the comments were like, oh, her man must have came in. She ain't really single. Then it was, oh, the NFL is calling. They need a new, new wide receiver. Or, no, they called me.
[00:08:41] Speaker B: That is insane.
[00:08:42] Speaker A: Yo, it was crazy. So got off the call, and it was really crazy because Kennedy's very nice. She's actually very nice. She's very nice. So she was really kind to me. She's like, oh, my God, I'm gonna use this as a clip. And so she did that. I went to the comments one time. I exited out instantly and never did it again.
[00:08:56] Speaker B: Now I understand why Beyonce ain't on an Internet.
[00:08:58] Speaker A: Listen, listen.
[00:09:00] Speaker B: I don't want to see what people have to say. People are crazy.
[00:09:03] Speaker A: Especially. Especially when you're like, in the spotlight like that. Like, I couldn't imagine. Like, we. We're like a little bit in the spotlight in our local area.
[00:09:10] Speaker B: Right. You know what I mean?
[00:09:11] Speaker A: And they be.
[00:09:12] Speaker B: And I still. I just recently got death threats. Like, it's crazy. You know, it's lit out here. So.
[00:09:18] Speaker A: Yeah. So putting herself out there to ask for advice, to look for love and all those things. It's a crazy, scary place.
[00:09:26] Speaker B: And the Internet is such an unserious place.
[00:09:28] Speaker A: It really is. And so today we get to be unserious, too. Judgment free sometimes maybe judging a little bit.
And gratefully, these are anonymous, so it doesn't matter if we judge a little bit because they don't never know or we won't ever know who they are. So we have some letters.
[00:09:45] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh.
[00:09:45] Speaker A: Some of them are short, some of them are long, and they're interesting. But I'm gonna let you read your letter first.
[00:09:51] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. Cause I couldn't wait for this one.
[00:09:53] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:09:54] Speaker B: This one is called Misstep toe.
[00:09:56] Speaker A: Oh, Lord.
[00:09:57] Speaker B: Okay, so. Dear Leigh Laree and Nick B. I'm writing to you today because I need advice on how to handle a truly bizarre friendship.
Quotation within X Lover. Let's call him Mr. Detective.
[00:10:10] Speaker A: Okay. Okay.
[00:10:11] Speaker B: We broke up about a year ago mutually. And decided to be just friends. The problem is Mr. Detective only ever calls to check in if he suspects I'm having a bad day. He claims he's being supportive and checking on my well being. But the real show starts when he starts probing. It goes like this. He calls all smooth and concerned. Hey, just checking in. You sound a little tired. I say I'm fine. Just had a busy day. He presses, no, seriously, I can tell. Is the job stressing you out? Did you miss a deadline? I resist. He keeps pressing. Finally, I confess something minuscule like, okay, fine, I stubbed my toe on the coffee table this morning or my favorite coffee shop ran out of almond milk. Okay. And this man, right, because, listen, the way that our bubble Gus is set up, I understand how that can be quite the tragedy. I understand. I get it, girl. I get it. And this man, this man gets gleeful. Seriously, I can practically hear him taking notes through the phone. He actually squeals sometimes.
[00:11:13] Speaker A: Squeals, bitch squeals.
That sounds very sassy.
[00:11:17] Speaker B: That is really. Is giving sassy. Yeah.
[00:11:20] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:11:20] Speaker B: Aha. I knew it. I knew something was wrong. It's like he's solving a mystery where the answer is always my minor suffering.
Then he launches into 15 minutes of unsolicited, extreme detailed advice. Girl, unsolicited advice is, you know, we don't play that on how to prevent toe stubbing or how to properly store almond milk alternatives.
Because she has control over that.
[00:11:45] Speaker A: Right?
[00:11:45] Speaker B: Okay. It is exhausting. I feel like he needs me to be slightly miserable just so he can feel helpful and relevant. I need your help. Am I crazy for finding this dynamic draining?
How do I navigate a friendship with someone who was clearly only invested in my misfortune? Should I cut him off entirely? And if so, what's the DRP way to deliver that final love letter signed Ms. Stubbed Toe and perpetually almond milkless?
[00:12:12] Speaker A: No, I'm a milk list. That's freaking hilarious, yo. Okay.
I've actually had been in this scenario before.
[00:12:19] Speaker B: Oh, absolutely.
[00:12:20] Speaker A: And I know you have too. Yes, yes. And this is like across the board, friend wise and relationship wise. Like people sometimes like you where you're at and where you're at needs to be beneath them.
[00:12:30] Speaker B: Right.
[00:12:31] Speaker A: And they gotta. They either have to feel useful or they feel like they're doing better because they're doing better than you.
[00:12:36] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:12:36] Speaker A: And so I know that I had a person that I used to talk to who every time they checked in with me, it was always because they felt like something was wrong and they had to call and check.
[00:12:47] Speaker B: Felt like. Or was hoping.
[00:12:49] Speaker A: That's part that I struggled with because I felt like. And I recently had to detach cuz I was like I.
Every time. So now when he calls or when they call or if they. If they call or text, you know, I'm great. Life is wonderful, blessed and highly favored. So at peace, won't God. I could be sitting in the middle of fire and Elma was swinging from a chandelier with gasoline screaming, ah, whatever.
[00:13:10] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:13:11] Speaker A: And I'll be like, I'm doing amazing. How are you doing? You know, because. Because why? Why are you calling me to find out what's wrong with me?
[00:13:17] Speaker B: Right. And yeah, I think it says a lot about the person though, because you know, at the end they only miserable people want you to also be miserable. So this is a person who is clearly not feeling fulfilled because for one thing, if we.
I'm Getting. Oh, she does say ex lover. So I'm getting. There is a reason why we're not not together.
[00:13:37] Speaker A: That part.
[00:13:38] Speaker B: And he clearly doesn't have anything of substance that is occupying his time.
So I'm still over here in my little corner miserable. So let me call and see if you miserable without me too. Let me see if life is, you know. Cause I. You know, without me, you ain't never gonna go platinum. You know, that type of situation. So it feels like he's plotting on her downfall.
[00:14:00] Speaker A: And I wonder who ended it.
[00:14:03] Speaker B: Right.
I feel like because of the. Cause it really sounds like he's the one that typically reaches out. It very much gives me. Maybe she was the one that had to create that boundary.
And it's almost like he wants to check in and keep tabs in order to see whether or not she regrets her decision.
[00:14:20] Speaker A: That's funny. I took it the other way because I feel like he's checking in to make sure that she's not doing better without him. Like, I left you. Let me make sure you're still doing bad.
[00:14:31] Speaker B: Right.
[00:14:31] Speaker A: That's how that reads to me.
[00:14:33] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:14:33] Speaker A: But I could see both ways. But then again, if she ended it, why would she still be taking his calls?
Either way it could. I mean, I struggle with the whole friend.
[00:14:42] Speaker B: Because I can't be friends with someone who at one point that I used to be intimate.
[00:14:46] Speaker A: That part, that's just me personally.
[00:14:47] Speaker B: Because I don't feel like it would ever be like a. A healthy friendship.
[00:14:53] Speaker A: You can't underlying something.
[00:14:55] Speaker B: Yeah. If you don't folded me before. I mean, do you really want to be my friend? Yeah.
[00:15:01] Speaker A: If you don't slurp to the fountain oaks. Exactly.
[00:15:03] Speaker B: If you done went to the lakes of Minnetonka, do you really want to see what my purple rain is like without you?
[00:15:13] Speaker A: Shirt, gang blouses. Whatever it was.
But no, seriously. So that was my first part where I was like, something ain't right with the fact that you're still friends with somebody or allowing them access.
[00:15:25] Speaker B: Yeah. Because it's an unhealthy attachment.
[00:15:27] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. So, okay, so then clearly we don't think she's crazy.
[00:15:32] Speaker B: No. Right. She's definitely not.
[00:15:34] Speaker A: Right.
[00:15:34] Speaker B: She's definitely not. But I do think that she needs to go even further with creating a boundary because this is not a person who is wishing her well. Like there's not. If she's already dreading and she already sees what is to come, that this person is going to keep on poking and prodding and then it's Almost like you're afraid to actually have a bad day because at the end day, yes, life be lifeing and we are going to have a bad day. But to know that he is so texting with his being miserable that he's going to like, celebrate that you had a bad day. Are these people that you want in your life?
[00:16:10] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:16:11] Speaker B: You know, I mean, I have a friend who was like that, that at one point, you know, and she. She had become a friend during a time that I was. I was fighting for my life. I was going through a divorce, I was going through challenges with my teenagers. At the time, I. My life was extremely chaotic. I had no boundaries whenever it came to business. Like, it was extremely chaotic. And then I worked to a place of just really being at peace.
[00:16:35] Speaker A: Right.
[00:16:35] Speaker B: You know, and I had to create certain barriers and certain boundaries in order to get to that place. Right, right. So then it became that the person had less interest in being my friend because there wasn't, like, I didn't have any fires to put out. So then it would be like she would call. She had even relocated out of state and would call and literally, I'll never. I'll never delete this message because, you know, me and receipts, it'd be a reminder sometimes, though. But she was like, how are things? You know, I'm hoping you're not. Not answering your phone because, like, life is terrible for you, you know, But I just. Something told me to give you a call, but I hope everything is okay.
And I'm like, why is that your default? You know? And then when I do, actually, because then it would get to a place that I would. Wouldn't have the mental capacity to speak to her.
[00:17:24] Speaker A: Right.
[00:17:25] Speaker B: Because, say, for instance, I did happen to have a bad day, let's say that there was something going on then. I almost, like, didn't want to share that with her because I didn't want to give satisfaction that part. So the only way I think to get to this place, like, we don't need anyone around us. Like, life is hard enough.
[00:17:42] Speaker A: Like, we don't need that part.
[00:17:44] Speaker B: People around us that are not wishing us well.
[00:17:46] Speaker A: Right. Do you think that maybe you trauma bonded with her because you were going through something while you guys became close?
[00:17:51] Speaker B: No, I. I think it was really. It was again, you know, a friendship that had evolved from, like, them starting off being a client, you know, someone you know, and then they evolved into being a friend. But I personally feel like the.
The connection was that it made that person feel elevated to a certain point. Because at least I'm not going through what you're going through. And when it got to a place that now life is kind of whooping on her a little bit. And not that I would be happy about that.
[00:18:24] Speaker A: Right, right.
[00:18:25] Speaker B: You know what I mean? But it was getting. Because we were in different places in our life. She hadn't experienced a significant relationship. She hadn't experienced motherhood yet. So at this point, through the course of our friendship, life has evolved for her. And so she is now exploring and, like, getting into different challenges that were not part of her life before.
[00:18:45] Speaker A: Gotcha.
[00:18:46] Speaker B: Now she's, like, kind of seeing it from a different perspective and almost hoping that, like, are you still going through some shit?
[00:18:52] Speaker A: Because.
[00:18:53] Speaker B: You know what I mean? Because I kind of need someone that makes me feel at least. At least my life is better.
[00:18:57] Speaker A: See, that's. And then kind of people is the ones that love you where you're at when they're doing better than you. And that's absolutely. To me.
[00:19:03] Speaker B: And that is a strange thing, but it is. And I think it's even in, like, other. Like, even the recent dating situation I had where they, like, in their mind, they've placed you down here and they want you to stay.
[00:19:16] Speaker A: And Lord forbid you be doing okay. Lord forbid that you grow and elevate. And I hate that. Because people who are like that are also stagnant. They're not trying to grow. They'll. They'll give out the perception that they're trying to grow and they're trying to elevate. They talk a good game, or maybe they don't talk a good game because, oh, boy, he didn't talk names. But. But, you know, they put. They. They put out there that this whole front street of I'm doing this, I'm doing that. I'm trying to get to where I'm going, and yada, yada, yada, yada. And then when you realize that they ain't. And they never gonna be and they ain't doing. And they want you to still be beneath them and you're growing, not only are. You don't need them, you're a threat to them.
[00:19:54] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:19:54] Speaker A: And now their ego is hurt. They got to bring you down.
[00:19:57] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:19:57] Speaker A: And that's just. It's just.
[00:19:58] Speaker B: And that's crazy. So Detective needs to go investigate somewhere damn else that part. He is not.
[00:20:05] Speaker A: Heal. He needs to heal.
[00:20:06] Speaker B: He is not.
[00:20:06] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:20:07] Speaker B: He needs to heal.
[00:20:08] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:20:08] Speaker B: Yeah. And we need you to be okay with the days that you have had a steptoe. Or the days that they ran out of almond milk, because that's part of life. But we definitely don't need the people that are going to get joy from these type of moments.
[00:20:21] Speaker A: So ways to in this interaction is to, A, just don't answer. B, block C, create a clear boundary.
[00:20:30] Speaker B: Don't tiptoe.
[00:20:32] Speaker A: Listen, boundaries are not for other people to not cross. They are. There are rules of engagement for you and how you behave when people do things. So if. If he calls you your boundaries, I'm not going to answer. That's your boundary. He doesn't have to. He doesn't have to respect your boundaries, but you set a boundary for yourself. Now if you answer, you done broke your own boundary. You stepped over your own boundary, not him. And so that's a you thing. So set clear boundaries and stick to them and move on and be happy and. And know that he's miserable watching you from a distance.
[00:21:01] Speaker B: Right. And sometimes, I mean, maybe, you know, because this might be the petty in me, let them keep on having a damn front seat. You can follow me on social media, you can follow me on certain things where I show up in my best self, but you just don't get that.
[00:21:15] Speaker A: You know, you ain't never gonna question how well I'm doing.
[00:21:18] Speaker B: Exactly. Exactly. But you can't call me. You can't call me.
[00:21:22] Speaker A: I love it. Okay. Yes. Well, There we go, Ms. Dub Toe. I hope that helped. I hope you're listening. Yeah. Okay, this one, no play for four. No play to foreplay. All right?
[00:21:33] Speaker B: Oh, okay.
[00:21:34] Speaker A: Says yo Lila. Re Nick B. I'm reaching out because I need some honest wisdom today. This is real for me and I need help. I've been blessed. No cap. For years I've been dropping dick like it was nothing.
[00:21:46] Speaker B: Oh, dropping dig off.
[00:21:48] Speaker A: I got stamina and I'm an attractive catch. I've never had a woman not be satisfied. But not sure if I care beyond making sure we both finished.
Sorry, that made me choke. Hold on.
[00:22:00] Speaker B: Choking on some because what?
[00:22:04] Speaker A: Okay. Not sure if I cared beyond making sure we both finished. Basically I was putting in work because they were leaving happy and hitting me up for repeat visits in my head. That's the gold standard. H.
Were they happy, though? Okay, sorry.
[00:22:18] Speaker B: We'll get back to right.
[00:22:19] Speaker A: Okay.
But I got a real one now. The energy is different, the conversation is different. This ain't a sneaky link. She's wifey material and I know know she deserves the full five star experience. Here's the truth. I'm realizing I've never made love or been good at foreplay. I'm trying to slow it down, focus on the buildup, and try some new things. But every time I try to switch it up, I start overthinking. I get nervous, I lose my rhythm, and I fall back into what I'm used to. It's just easier. And she never. She never complains. But I can tell that this ain't it. I need the cheat code. How can I tap into that soft kind of sex? How do I start the conversations? I need to have to find out what gets her off and make the moment special and memorable. I'm ready to put in the work, but I need guidance on how to move from being just physical to being a true lover.
[00:23:08] Speaker B: First of all, kudos to him for not being a selfish lover anymore. Anymore.
Anymore.
Okay.
I feel like the dialogue.
Because here's the thing. I think that it's different for every person. And so if his goal is not just to be, like, a good lover, but a good lover to her, he needs to.
They probably even some role playing, some games, or like, those little card games that they have where you kind of, like, figure out certain erogenous zones and things like that, you know, to like. And just figure out what is gonna rock for her.
[00:23:48] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:23:48] Speaker B: Because right now it still seems like there's a level of selfishness because he.
[00:23:52] Speaker A: Can'T figure it out. So he's like.
[00:23:54] Speaker B: So he's in his mind. You know what I'm saying? He's going there, and it's not. He's not in tune with her. She might as well just be that part.
[00:24:01] Speaker A: I think we've talked about this in previous seasons, though. That communication is, like, basically the cornerstone for everything. Like, it's a happy relationship. It's because you have good communication. A good friendship is because you got good communication. Good sex is gonna be because you have good communication. Right.
We've taken the BDSM test, which I now kind of use as a staple for, like, starting that conversation with people. Because it's fun.
[00:24:22] Speaker B: Right.
[00:24:22] Speaker A: You don't have to take the test and discuss it while you're reading the questions, but you get to discuss the results. And you can be like, oh, my God, this is crazy. Did you read those questions? That's wild. And it kind of creates a conversation in itself, but then even in. So you kind of discover, like, something about yourself. Exactly. Or some things that maybe you didn't know you liked or that you weren't being honest about.
[00:24:43] Speaker B: Right.
[00:24:44] Speaker A: And then you find out about your Partner. And you can kind of see where your compatible at, where you might want to grow or things that you. Maybe they answered more honestly and you didn't. And then you can kind of come clean and be like, well, actually, I kind of like that too. Yeah. And I think that for, for me, what has worked has been that kind of starter conversation to be like, okay, yeah, you know, let's do this little fun test. It's kind of. It's kind of fun, it's cute, it's kind of like a game, you know.
But without that conversation, you ain't gonna get very far because you can't. She don't. You don't know what she wants.
[00:25:12] Speaker B: And not only that, but I know for most women our mental is completely attached to the vajayjay. So you're not worried about like engaging her mind, you know, and doing a little bit of, I mean, basically some mind fucking. First off that part, she's not going to ever get to that point of satisfaction. You're never gonna get her there.
[00:25:30] Speaker A: That's facts I tell folks I'm a sapiosexual. So if the conversation is dry, so is my coochie.
[00:25:35] Speaker B: And it gets hella, hella dry.
[00:25:36] Speaker A: Yeah, it ain't happening.
[00:25:37] Speaker B: Right.
[00:25:39] Speaker A: Okay, so let's see what the questions were. Was, okay, how to get the conversation started.
What are some things that could make a special moment and a memorable moment?
[00:25:49] Speaker B: I think. I mean, we love a plant date, right? We love something that is like, okay, not even necessarily because it's her birthday or because there's anything like this going on, but it's like, you know what? I went ahead and rented an Airbnb for the weekend. Let's like change the scenery a little bit.
[00:26:06] Speaker A: Listen, you know, change of scenery makes it real easy to get freaky.
[00:26:10] Speaker B: Listen. Cause the balcony hate to see me coming.
[00:26:14] Speaker A: The people on the balcony hate to see me coming.
[00:26:19] Speaker B: Something about that. But I think it opens like, it makes you a little bit more uninhibited when you're out of like your, your comfort zone.
[00:26:26] Speaker A: Right.
[00:26:27] Speaker B: And so maybe that's a great place. And not only that, but that is such a wow moment to like, open up for that person to be like you. You really are opening up the, the avenue to have this conversation of like, maybe I did this for you.
Now tell me what you like.
[00:26:42] Speaker A: Yes. And it shows that you care. I think that showing that you care and that intention.
[00:26:48] Speaker B: Right.
[00:26:48] Speaker A: Will get you a long way too. And it'll make somebody else open up and it'll Make.
[00:26:52] Speaker B: Make the cooch coo. Go.
[00:26:54] Speaker A: Listen. Now, we as women also have to take accountability for the fact that we aren't more vocal when we don't like something.
[00:27:02] Speaker B: That's true. And I know that's a. Definitely gave some pats on the back.
[00:27:05] Speaker A: With some trash and. Or took a dick that we didn't like. But listen.
[00:27:09] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:27:09] Speaker A: And I think we're conditioned. And while we understand that that's conditioned, that's like, how society has kind of raised us to be.
[00:27:15] Speaker B: Because we'll just be seen as just being some loose flu.
[00:27:17] Speaker A: Right, right, right.
[00:27:19] Speaker B: Because the last time, you know. Yeah.
[00:27:21] Speaker A: Because I know in my marriage it was very much like a chore almost sometimes because, like, it was like. And. And that happens in marriages sometimes too, because it's like, you've been together for so long, it's just whatever. But it really became a thing where it's like, I did the dishes. I should get some ass. And I'm like, you're supposed to do the dishes. So why. And so then it became like a. A, A tit for tat where he got angry. I was like, what the fuck? And we just could not connect.
And so a. I refuse to get to that place again. But it also is like, we have to be vocal about what we want so that we do want it. And men have to be susceptible to learning.
Yeah.
[00:27:58] Speaker B: And it sounds like he's receptive. That's. I think what's a good thing is that at least he. Because I think there's nothing worse than somebody who thinks that they really are dropping dick off and they're not. Yo, that's the worst. Like, that is the worst thing. When they're like, like, yeah, you know, Cuz you ain't never like. And you be like. So that was that. That was it.
[00:28:14] Speaker A: I didn't know we started right.
[00:28:15] Speaker B: I know he was there.
[00:28:17] Speaker A: Like, oh, we. I remember I asked a guy one time if he finished, you know what? And he was like.
[00:28:22] Speaker B: And I was like, oh, wow. Do you see? Like, no one wants that. So I'm proud of him for being at this place. Is like, it's not just about me. Let's get outside of myself and yank.
[00:28:33] Speaker A: For finding love, because clearly he's feeling her.
[00:28:35] Speaker B: That's really.
[00:28:36] Speaker A: To, like, make him change. Because a lot of men. Or I'll say a lot of men, that's generalizing. But a lot of people, they get stuck in their ways. They do. And the fact that you found somebody that makes you want to do better.
[00:28:46] Speaker B: And be better that's cute.
[00:28:48] Speaker A: I like it. I'm here for it.
[00:28:49] Speaker B: And it also does open up the avenue for, like, is she being all the way transparent? Like, is she enjoying it? Or is it just a matter of, you know, just.
[00:28:57] Speaker A: Right.
[00:28:57] Speaker B: Making sure you're good.
[00:28:58] Speaker A: Right.
[00:28:58] Speaker B: Because sometimes we're known to be givers and we don't. Maybe we don't even know.
[00:29:03] Speaker A: That's facts. And. And so that'd be a good test to be like, watch body language for doing things that you regularly do versus doing something new. Because then you can see if it's like, the reaction is the same, if it's different, if it's heightened. Because then you can be like, oh, she's faking right there. Because that's all the time.
[00:29:19] Speaker B: She's on autopilot. Right, right, right.
[00:29:21] Speaker A: Okay, okay, okay. If you could plan a perfect romantic date for your significant other, what would it be?
[00:29:28] Speaker B: It definitely would start with some type of good food. I feel like, you know, just something.
[00:29:34] Speaker A: Let me stop.
[00:29:37] Speaker B: Listen, I can't get down on an empty stomach.
[00:29:41] Speaker A: Okay. Oh, my goodness.
[00:29:43] Speaker B: I would definitely plan, like a very well made meal, you know what I mean? And then just create the scene, I believe, like, kind of enticing all of their different senses. So I love having a little bit of some sensory deprivation. Like, let me blindfold you a little bit. Let me hit on all your little spots or whatever. And just really, I think just having that. That intimate, like, connection. I think just creating a whole scene.
[00:30:07] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:30:08] Speaker B: Because I don't think that it's often enough that men get those type of settings that are set for them, you know what I mean?
I remember my cousin saying, like, the best date that he had was where she had just created, like the whole atmosphere. Everything was thought about for him.
[00:30:24] Speaker A: I love it.
[00:30:25] Speaker B: And I'm like, men like to receive their flowers too, even if not necessarily the actual physical flowers, but they love to receive, you know, like a little bit of ambiance and create a scene for them too. So that would definitely be like, get all your favorite things and you know what I'm saying? Let's have maybe a little door swing. I got a little door swing. I've been like, dying doors.
[00:30:46] Speaker A: They had a package deal. Was the door swing. It was the pillow that was like.
[00:30:51] Speaker B: Yeah, the little whatever.
[00:30:52] Speaker A: And then it was the straps that you put on your hands and your feet and then you kind of connected, girl. Yeah.
[00:30:58] Speaker B: Listen, honey, I would definitely have all of that. Yes.
[00:31:01] Speaker A: No, I want. Yeah, I gotta find a door or.
[00:31:03] Speaker B: Frame that's that's the thing too I'm nervous about. Like cuz how do I explain to my property management company that the whole door came up.
[00:31:11] Speaker A: But you do is you get one of them little pull up bars and then you be like, I was trying to do some pull ups and it.
[00:31:16] Speaker B: There we go. There we go.
[00:31:18] Speaker A: Yeah, thinking I'd be thinking ahead, you know what I'm saying? See if you go to a hotel, you can't explain that.
[00:31:23] Speaker B: That's very true. That's very true.
[00:31:25] Speaker A: Oh my God, I love it. Now listen, I curated a beautiful date one time. I think I've talked about this before where I took, I went out of town and create this beautiful magical date and the took some shrooms. Well, we took some shrooms, but y' all don't remember. And he couldn't. No, he couldn't handle it. And it was a done deal night one. He was knocked out for the whole weekend and we didn't do nothing.
[00:31:44] Speaker B: That is.
[00:31:45] Speaker A: And it was like so disappointing.
[00:31:47] Speaker B: This could end up in a CSI episode.
[00:31:49] Speaker A: No, really, you really could have high key because the way he describes seeing the wall melting colors and I was like, oh God.
[00:31:57] Speaker B: Yeah, but he don't know if he was a victim or not.
[00:31:59] Speaker A: Listen. Oh, September that passed. Listen, shut the fuck up.
He don't know. He don't know. He's been traumatized. He's doing some like therapy on himself. Like, oh, hypnotizing.
[00:32:12] Speaker B: You have to be more careful.
[00:32:15] Speaker A: Like if you go camping and you're booty and you wake up and your booty hurt, do you tell anybody? Like you know one of them things, right?
But listen, September was take your man on a date month.
And I put a call out to David Banner, Marshawn lynch and Michael B. Jordan. I had some amazing dates planned and I was just waiting for one to respond. Now listen, I put it in my story and I tagged all of them.
[00:32:35] Speaker B: Got you.
[00:32:36] Speaker A: David Banner and Marshawn lynch both viewed my story. So then I screenshot the views and I posted it again and tagged. I was like, hey, you looked at my story now come on.
[00:32:46] Speaker B: I think David Banner did just get a boo though. I think he did just finally say, you wasn't supposed to know. My bad. I think he did. I swear I felt like I saw something about like he's finally decided to settle down or something.
[00:32:57] Speaker A: Oh no, no, he's. He wanted to settle down, but he doesn't have anybody.
[00:32:59] Speaker B: He don't?
[00:32:59] Speaker A: No. Okay, then he's been going around like it's been a Thing. That's why I was like, it's my time. Got you.
No, he said that he's been. He was so focused on work for so long that he didn't care about dating. Like, he. You know, he did.
[00:33:11] Speaker B: I found out one of my clients used to date him.
And it's crazy because you would never. When I. I was like, you got me looking at you a little different because she is 100.
She's so square.
[00:33:23] Speaker A: Yeah, she is.
[00:33:25] Speaker B: And she's, like, an amazing attorney. Like, she's. She's dope.
[00:33:28] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:33:28] Speaker B: But not who I would have ever placed her.
[00:33:32] Speaker A: Interesting.
[00:33:32] Speaker B: Him in his, like, hey. Days. Oh, that. And so he. He didn't even want her to hear the music that he was having out at that time because it was so, like, so raunchy.
[00:33:43] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:33:43] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly.
[00:33:44] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:33:44] Speaker B: Yeah. When I looked, I said, oh, okay.
[00:33:46] Speaker A: Okay. All right, well, listen, David Banner, Marshawn.
[00:33:52] Speaker B: Lynch, feel free to go beast mode if you.
[00:33:55] Speaker A: If y' all listening, holla at your girl. Yeah, holla at your girl. I can plan an amazing date.
[00:34:01] Speaker B: That's right. With some Skittles.
[00:34:03] Speaker A: Oh, with some Skittles. Listen, taste this rainbow. I mean, taste the rainbow.
Okay, let's see what we got.
[00:34:09] Speaker B: Sorry. Took me there real quick.
[00:34:10] Speaker A: Well, that was mine. It's your turn, right?
[00:34:11] Speaker B: Okay.
Yes. Okay, so the next one we have.
[00:34:14] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:34:15] Speaker B: Is opposite.
[00:34:17] Speaker A: Oh. Oh, I hate these. I hate these.
I'm already pissed off.
[00:34:22] Speaker B: This is about to be some shit.
[00:34:23] Speaker A: I'm about to be pissed off already.
[00:34:24] Speaker B: Okay, so. Hi, ladies. I got a dilemma. My new boo is constantly talking about his female best friend, like, all the damn time. He talks about how funny she is, how smart she is, all these funny stories.
Why we getting mad, girl?
[00:34:42] Speaker A: Already we feeling triggered.
[00:34:46] Speaker B: I know I'm exaggerating, but it feels like I could mention the sky is blue, and it would lead to a story about how they were talking or hanging out once and they noticed the sky was extra blue that day. And I get it. We can have friends of the opposite sex, but damn, it feels like if they could be together, they would.
Okay. She doesn't live in the same state. Like, it requires a plane trip for them to hang out, so it rarely happens.
But deep down, I feel like if she was closer, I'd probably bow out. They talk about everything from sexual preferences to likes and desires.
He knows everything about her from how she prefers to have sex to how she masturbates.
He even. Right. Like, I'm getting mad as I'm reading this shit.
[00:35:33] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:35:33] Speaker B: He's even mentioned how her body looks in her clothes. They fucking.
Sorry. But because they are friends, he feels comfortable telling me all about her and he says it as if this is normal. Am I overthinking it?
[00:35:47] Speaker A: Hell no.
[00:35:48] Speaker B: Should I be concerned?
[00:35:49] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:35:49] Speaker B: Should I try harder to be her friend? No.
[00:35:52] Speaker A: Fuck that bitch.
[00:35:53] Speaker B: Right?
Sincerely, annoyed. Annoyed. We fucking annoyed too.
[00:35:58] Speaker A: Yes. No, you're not overthinking. You are not crazy. Think exactly what the fuck you're thinking. Because we're thinking it too.
[00:36:05] Speaker B: Right? And he's playing in your face.
[00:36:07] Speaker A: Yeah. Cause see, what I hate the most is when there's opposite sex friends.
[00:36:13] Speaker B: Right?
[00:36:14] Speaker A: And I'll say it on both parts. Cause it can happen both ways, is where, you know, secretly you desire that person.
[00:36:21] Speaker B: Right.
[00:36:21] Speaker A: But for whatever reason, you don't want to ruin that friendship. Right? But because you are so basically in love with that person that you. You embarrass and humiliate your partner, by the way that you care for and care about this other person. This other person. And that's unacceptable. Like, I don't. I know that we say we want to be our person's best friend and all those things, and that's sometimes unrealistic. And we get that part.
It's ideal and we wish we could, but there are just certain things that you don't share with another woman that you should be only sharing with me or you shouldn't know about another woman.
[00:36:55] Speaker B: Right. Cause that. The other part, for one thing, when is they having these conversations. Yeah. About like, did she just call and be like, I just rubbed one out this morning. Like, what the fuck is that that all about?
[00:37:05] Speaker A: Right? I bet you they don't live together as a couple.
[00:37:07] Speaker B: They can't.
[00:37:08] Speaker A: Yeah. Because there's.
[00:37:10] Speaker B: Because there's way too much time and opportunity for him to be cultivating this friendship with this person. The other part of it though, is that I also feel like there's this weird dynamic that there he. He's being deliberate about the things that he's saying. Because men also, sometimes their ploy is to create a lot more of a. A sense of jealous jealousy. So they will deliberately mention these female friends. They'll mention the people they dated before. They'll mention these situations because they're trying to create like this fake sense of like, competition. So that way you feel like you have a prize. Because who wants somebody don't nobody want. Right. So I feel like he kind of low key is doing that on purpose.
[00:37:50] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:37:50] Speaker B: To create a sense of like, let me kind of have a little Bit of some jealousy there. So that way I can feel like I'm winning the prize by.
[00:38:00] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:38:01] Speaker B: The fact that I'm here with you.
[00:38:02] Speaker A: Yeah. Part of it is forcing somebody to be an open relationship without the sex.
[00:38:10] Speaker B: Got you.
[00:38:10] Speaker A: Like, because I do believe in emotional cheating.
I believe that's a real thing. So I feel like because of the types of conversations that they're having, that's definitely emotional cheating. But he's playing it safe by saying, that's my friend. She doesn't live here. So. So it's safe. If she lived in the same state, I bet you the girlfriend would not know about their interactions.
[00:38:33] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:38:34] Speaker A: Yeah, because. Yeah, because now it's no longer a safe. It's not safe to say, oh, she lives in a different state. I haven't taken.
[00:38:40] Speaker B: And he would have a lot more to hide.
[00:38:42] Speaker A: Absolutely, absolutely. And there be. And if the way that they talk over the phone or via text or whatever they're doing, I bet you if she was in person, that would be an in person interaction.
[00:38:51] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:38:52] Speaker A: Like you're sitting at the house chilling, watching movies, Netflixing and chilling. Talking about, oh, I like to masturbate. That. Who the does that?
[00:38:58] Speaker B: Exactly. That's a weird asset to know about your not with. And the other thing too is that it says a lot about the level of respect that he has even commanded that she's supposed to have for his partner. Because I know that like, for instance, I have a person that we have. We have always been extremely good friends. Right. But once I saw that he was in a relationship, then I pulled back out of respect for her.
[00:39:20] Speaker A: That part.
[00:39:20] Speaker B: You know what I'm saying? And at the end, if I were to overstep, I have no doubt in my mind that he would. Would put me in my place simply because of how the level of.
Level of respect that he commands for her.
[00:39:32] Speaker A: Yeah, that part.
[00:39:33] Speaker B: So I feel like her even being this disrespectful to that relationship has everything to do with what he's allowing.
[00:39:38] Speaker A: That part.
[00:39:39] Speaker B: You know what I'm saying? Because she. She should know. Like, you got a woman. I shouldn't even have this conversation with you.
[00:39:44] Speaker A: That part. That part. And I wonder if she believes they're friends.
[00:39:49] Speaker B: Does she know they friends? Right.
That's an interesting question. Because it could be that we're only not like outright in a relationship because I don't live there.
[00:40:01] Speaker A: That part. That part.
[00:40:02] Speaker B: And do she even know about you?
[00:40:04] Speaker A: That part is interesting.
[00:40:07] Speaker B: So no, you're not overthinking it, right? Should you be Concerned. Hell, yeah. Should you be.
[00:40:14] Speaker A: Try.
[00:40:14] Speaker B: Should I try harder to be her friend? Fuck her. Okay.
[00:40:17] Speaker A: And I made that mistake. Take.
[00:40:18] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:40:19] Speaker A: And see where landing me.
[00:40:21] Speaker B: Because you'll be. You'll be.
It's a weird dynamic now, but you'll be surprised how many people are okay playing, like, the role.
[00:40:33] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:40:33] Speaker B: Because I literally just found out about somebody who was coming to a person's house parties and everything, portraying themselves as being the friend, all the while having sex with this person's house husband. Had very much been in. In a. And had been in a relationship with this man for a good at least two years, but was in the friend's face. I love you. You're my girl. All this other stuff. So that's the other part of it. Like, being friends with this girl is not going to give you any more sense of protection and safety.
[00:41:04] Speaker A: It almost puts you in a worse position because now you're going to be sharing with her.
[00:41:08] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:41:08] Speaker A: Information that she can weaponize against you.
[00:41:10] Speaker B: And she about to Alicia Keys you.
[00:41:13] Speaker A: Listen.
[00:41:14] Speaker B: She gonna Mashanda you.
[00:41:16] Speaker A: Oh, goodness.
[00:41:17] Speaker B: Yes, exactly.
[00:41:18] Speaker A: That's deep. Yeah. I don't know how I feel. I know. It's weird for me because I know that I have at least I have two. Two friends that are guys that I would consider my best male friends. Got you.
[00:41:29] Speaker B: However, have you guys ever smashed? No, Exactly.
[00:41:32] Speaker A: No. And one of them's engaged, and one of them has a relationship. And so the one that's engaged, she, you know, obviously, she lives here.
And so the minute that they got serious. Cause he used to talk to me about her, and I'd give him advice. Okay, here's what he should, you know, do this or that, whatever, to try to encourage, you know, how they build the relationship. Once they got serious, I pulled back. We were the kind of friends that we had standing dinner dates. Like, not dates, but we would just hang out. We would go out, we would go to movies, all kinds of things. And once they got serious, we stopped doing that. And it wasn't even like a conversation that had to be had. It was just what was. Because he's got a girl, that's who he should hang out with. He's got a girl. I don't need to be in that space no more. I'm not gonna disrespect her. And in fact, they cooked me dinner one time, and I went to their house and with them together.
[00:42:16] Speaker B: Gotcha.
[00:42:17] Speaker A: So it's like, that's the kind of thing like. So I recognize boundaries. And the two people that I consider My best guy friends, we have those boundaries. But there are definitely guys who I would have loosely, in my not healed phase, would have considered friends. Right. But I. I also know, given a chance, they would smash.
[00:42:36] Speaker B: They would definitely.
[00:42:36] Speaker A: Absolutely. Or they were waiting for the chance I've had. I've had friends of my ex once. That they.
[00:42:42] Speaker B: Those be the main c. They be the ones. Like, I've always.
[00:42:44] Speaker A: I've always liked you. Like, even when I was married to your friend.
[00:42:47] Speaker B: That's especially then I see that you were wifey material.
[00:42:51] Speaker A: Like.
[00:42:51] Speaker B: Yeah. And you're cheater material.
[00:42:55] Speaker A: But. Yeah. So I feel like. I know it's hypocritical of me to be like, I don't want my guy to have a female best friend because I just don't trust females.
I don't either. And I know the kind of person I am. I'm not saying I'm different. You know, I'm not like the heifers. But at the same time, I kind of moved.
[00:43:10] Speaker B: I mean, it is. It's a matter of just integrity and respect. And I just feel like any type of woman. Like, you know, when I learned that there are women that deliberately target men that are in relationships.
[00:43:23] Speaker A: Ooh, let's talk about it.
[00:43:24] Speaker B: I mean, there are people who are career sites. Chicks. Like, they are. That is their comfort.
[00:43:29] Speaker A: They don't want.
Right. Because they get the best of the man. They get the man when he's happiest because he's not dealing with regular life.
[00:43:36] Speaker B: Exactly. So when I really digested that part of it and realized like, that most people who are around, they absolutely know about that person's partner, that made it even more like, I don't play that friendship. I'm sorry. Yeah.
[00:43:51] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:43:52] Speaker B: Especially if you guys have ever been. There is no such thing as having someone that is a platonic friendship. If you have ever bent me over, I'm sorry. It's just not. That ain't possible.
[00:44:03] Speaker A: It's not. And I can't.
[00:44:05] Speaker B: It's a lie from.
[00:44:05] Speaker A: I can't do it. I don't know. For me. Because I know women are petty too. So I think for a lot of people, like, even if you don't maliciously think this, but in the back of your mind, there's always that thought like, yeah, I did that.
[00:44:15] Speaker B: Or I could do that if I want. Women compete with other women.
[00:44:17] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:44:17] Speaker B: And that's how my dad let me know, because I asked him, like, you know, with the fact that I dealt with infidelity, and I was like, I'm gonna keep it. I was like, dad, he was ugly. Like, how does that work?
He was like, that ring on his finger made him even more desirable. My dad was like, do you know how long I kept my ring on my finger? Even after me and your mom divorced, because it made me even more desirable.
That is how women compete with other women.
A man sometimes is so much more desirable. Cause that's the thing, too. It makes me wonder, if he didn't have a boo, what she want?
Would she even want to keep on.
[00:44:53] Speaker A: Being in contact with him? That's wild.
[00:44:55] Speaker B: That's the other thing. Like, what is the obsession she likes the jab of knowing that I can be disrespectful to this chick through this man.
[00:45:03] Speaker A: Man, her and him, they deserve these.
[00:45:05] Speaker B: Right? Right?
[00:45:07] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:45:07] Speaker B: Kiss my ass too.
[00:45:08] Speaker A: All the way around.
Okay, let's see this one. We calling it secret lovers. Okay? Oh, okay. I'm dating a guy I'm embarrassed to admit that I'm dating.
I very much make a. Oh, I very much talked a lot of about him in the past, but the more I got to know him, the. I realized he wasn't that bad. I actually really like him. And he's made lots of strides to not be the same annoying person I talk so bad about. Oh, the. The annoying person I talk so bad about, he knows I talked about him. And we laugh about it now, but I can tell he feels away about me not telling my friends about him. He thinks I care too much about what others think, and it definitely has him feeling like he's not good enough. That's totally not the case. He's been so wonderful to me, says all the right things, makes me feel good, encourages me, treats me like a princess. None of my treats me like the princess none of my other exes have. It's just that everyone still sees him as that annoying guy that people still roll their eyes at, even though the changes are noticeable. How do I make him feel better about where we are? And how do I eventually tell my friends about him?
[00:46:15] Speaker B: Damn that. Okay, I'm curious to know what. Cause there's.
[00:46:22] Speaker A: That's where we are, right?
[00:46:24] Speaker B: No, for real. Cause while you were reading, I was.
[00:46:26] Speaker A: Singing this on your mind.
[00:46:28] Speaker B: My thing is, I'm kind of curious. Like, is it that he's annoying or what has he done in the past that you know? Cause we talk all the time. Like, we know we got a nickname for everybody, right?
And it's very embarrassing. Typically, like, big ankles.
[00:46:46] Speaker A: Ankles.
Bullet hole.
[00:46:49] Speaker B: Bullet.
49 shot. Bop, bop, bop. Bop.
We're horrible people.
Oh, Jesus. So I wonder what it is about him that the friends haven't liked. Is it really just that, oh, he's kind of goofy or he's, you know, like, right. Not my typical. Or has he done something right? So that is a little vague, but I do feel like he's right. She cares way too much about what her friends think, you know?
[00:47:19] Speaker A: Yeah, it's weird. Cause I know we know a person whose energy is very different that when he's around people. I guarantee nobody would probably like to admit that they are talking to him.
[00:47:32] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:47:35] Speaker A: But it's weird to pinpoint other than his energy is off sometimes. Oh, I mean, no, we've pinpointed a few things, but. But to say something's annoying, it's like, I wonder, like, is it like an actual thing, right?
[00:47:46] Speaker B: Or is, I mean, is he maybe a little socially awkward or whatever? Does he not fit the aesthetic of the group or something? Is he not like typically like her type? Like her type? You know what I mean? Maybe he's not the.
You know what I'm saying?
[00:47:59] Speaker A: Like, maybe he's not fit. Maybe he's heavy or maybe he don't.
[00:48:02] Speaker B: Know how to dress or, you know, something like that.
[00:48:03] Speaker A: Like he don't got ashy ankles.
[00:48:06] Speaker B: He might have big end ankles. Oh, he might have a bullet hole or two.
Okay, so he might be short, he might be a midget. Oh, I mean, little person. We can't use that term.
[00:48:20] Speaker A: Vertically challenged, as you say.
[00:48:21] Speaker B: He might be vertically challenged.
[00:48:22] Speaker A: Right. Okay, so.
[00:48:23] Speaker B: So I do think that she needs to let go of what her friends are thinking.
If especially because it sounds like she's highlighting that she's happy.
[00:48:33] Speaker A: That's true.
[00:48:33] Speaker B: That he's good to her.
[00:48:34] Speaker A: That's true.
[00:48:35] Speaker B: So that says a lot about like, she kind of has a little bit of inner work that she needs to do. Because if you are so caught up in, you know, like hiding your happiness because of the friend group that you have around you, like, were you that particular about bringing the people who was wrong for you?
[00:48:55] Speaker A: What did she say about him that has her fearful to tell her friends?
[00:49:00] Speaker B: Exactly. Yeah, exactly.
[00:49:02] Speaker A: Because that's kind of like when we talk about people, how they navigate people in general. Like, you can like me in private, like friend wise.
[00:49:10] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:49:11] Speaker A: But you can't.
[00:49:12] Speaker B: You can't love me out loud because you've been talking shit about me.
[00:49:16] Speaker A: Like, you won't support my business because you talked about me to other people, but then you gonna buy my products on the low Right. Yeah.
[00:49:22] Speaker B: Yeah. So what is it? I'm just curious to know. So let's just say in two different scenarios, let's say that there's been something that he has done at some point and he's kind of plagued by that. In that the friends have a hard time getting over that he was piece of shit.
[00:49:37] Speaker A: Somebody had mentioned that one time in a previous season it might have been that somebody had previously abused like hit a. Like hit his partner in the past.
Changed been decades, but everybody still looks at him as a woman beater. Now I have my own personal thoughts.
[00:49:53] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:49:53] Speaker A: But that's an example. Like you did something and nobody can see you as anything other than that thing.
[00:49:58] Speaker B: Right?
[00:49:58] Speaker A: Right.
[00:49:59] Speaker B: That unless.
You know what I mean? Like, you.
If you 100% are happy with what you know and you feel like this person has evolved, that's really all that matters. But there's a part of me that wonders, is she really as happy as she's saying? Because why are you afraid to be out there like that with this person? Do you know what I'm saying?
That is a strange one because.
And I get sometimes people are so caught up in being part of the in crowd and being part of the who's who. We've seen that firsthand. Especially like. Because especially if there's someone that's local to here. There's such a small pocket of people that think that they're important anyway that if you. You're dealing with someone who's kind of outside of that, you really are so caught up in the aesthetic of it all.
[00:50:51] Speaker A: I was gonna say. Cause aesthetic, it usually boils down to aesthetic sometimes where it's like you're embarrassed how this person looks. Exactly. Because like chubby chasers, right? They'll date the skinny woman in real, like out loud and all the things. But they're secretly. And they'll date and they'll not take out on dad, but they'll like go to home dates and things like that. Two o' clock dates with the ones that they're really attracted to.
[00:51:14] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:51:14] Speaker A: So okay, well then how does she break it to her friends?
[00:51:18] Speaker B: Just tell them, like, girl, what you scared of?
[00:51:20] Speaker A: Like, I'm dating so and so.
[00:51:22] Speaker B: Yeah. And like, I mean. Cause are your friends gonna stop being. That's why I'm like. I'm kind of like curious to know. Like, damn, what did he do?
[00:51:29] Speaker A: We need follow up. Okay.
[00:51:30] Speaker B: Yeah, girl, we need you to write us and tell us more details.
[00:51:34] Speaker A: Yes. Oh, we need a follow up. We should do a follow.
[00:51:35] Speaker B: We need to follow. We need. Yeah, we should do a live and do a follow up. Because I'm curious to know what, like is there an incident or is it just simply who he is and he doesn't fit. Cause you know, we talk, girl, we got jokes for days. And there are a couple people that like, even with the situation when I was like.
[00:51:52] Speaker A: So we kind of. That is true. Yeah, yeah.
[00:51:55] Speaker B: But at the end day, I still felt okay coming and letting it be known. Even though we have talked mess before.
[00:52:00] Speaker A: That's facts. That's facts.
[00:52:01] Speaker B: You know what I mean? And I had to let it be known, like, because if you really are my friend, you're like, as long as you good.
[00:52:05] Speaker A: Right, right, right.
[00:52:06] Speaker B: You know what I'm saying?
[00:52:06] Speaker A: Because we liked a second.
[00:52:08] Speaker B: We did like him.
[00:52:08] Speaker A: We did like him for a second. Until then we did like him and then now it's right. That's gonna be that. But that's the bad part though is if it's somebody who's outside your norm or somebody you did talk about and something happens.
[00:52:20] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:52:21] Speaker A: It's like, that's why.
[00:52:23] Speaker B: That's why I'm curious to know, are you really as happy and as content as you're saying?
Because there may be that part that right now you're afraid because then you. They look, the jokes is gonna be on her when he ends up being like, girl, we told you.
You know what I'm saying?
[00:52:40] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:52:41] Speaker B: So there's a part. I think she might need to give it a little bit more time, make an announcement, go live when he proposes or something.
[00:52:50] Speaker A: So then she shouldn't tell her friends. She might need to wait to make sure it's real.
[00:52:54] Speaker B: I feel like she needs to wait because I don't know, there's something like. There's something she's not telling us. There's something missing and we need to figure out why are you so what you scared of?
[00:53:06] Speaker A: Okay, okay.
[00:53:07] Speaker B: So. I don't know.
[00:53:09] Speaker A: Write us back and tell us more. So write us back. We need more details, friend.
[00:53:12] Speaker B: For real.
[00:53:14] Speaker A: You can inbox it same way that you sent this in anonymously. A little.
[00:53:20] Speaker B: A couple more bullet points or something.
[00:53:21] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:53:22] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:53:22] Speaker A: There we go.
[00:53:23] Speaker B: Okay, okay. This title is killing me. Delusional. Ding dong.
[00:53:29] Speaker A: Oh God. Okay, okay.
[00:53:31] Speaker B: So. Dear Dirty Roses, my man has an average sized dick. Nothing.
This is crazy.
[00:53:41] Speaker A: Okay?
[00:53:42] Speaker B: Nothing magic, nothing magical. Nothing bad.
For some reason he thinks her husband told he is working with some big girl.
[00:53:51] Speaker A: We just talked about this.
[00:53:55] Speaker B: That is so crazy. And she goes. And that's just not the case our sex is fine.
Not fine. He does other things like make up for the lack in size. He's probably an eater and he's totally down to explore different thighs. Different thigh. I'm thinking different things with him.
[00:54:10] Speaker A: Oh, probably.
[00:54:11] Speaker B: But she said different thighs. I mean, maybe he is exploring her thighs.
But every time he gets to talking about his magic stick, the fact he. If he. Girl, he better not call it his magic.
[00:54:23] Speaker A: I hope she said that.
[00:54:24] Speaker B: I hope this is your word.
[00:54:26] Speaker A: Okay, it was.
[00:54:27] Speaker B: I got the magic stick. Okay, so every time.
Every time he talks about his magic stick, I have to refrain from correcting him. Not. You said it wasn't magic.
I like him a lot. Do you?
Enough to be okay with what he offers down there. But I'm so tired of hearing him talk about something he just doesn't shit.
[00:54:50] Speaker A: Shit.
[00:54:52] Speaker B: That's the of the end.
[00:54:53] Speaker A: Oh God.
Okay, so we did just talked about this.
[00:54:57] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:54:59] Speaker A: And in other scenarios, like in other episodes, we had a guy tell us that it doesn't matter what the man's working with because if you like him enough, the dick is good. And that is very true.
[00:55:08] Speaker B: Cuz I.
[00:55:09] Speaker A: And I disagree. But.
[00:55:11] Speaker B: No, I.
[00:55:11] Speaker A: But you. But you, like, you'll put up with it.
[00:55:13] Speaker B: You'll put up with it. It won't be that you're wowed. Like either way, if it's not wowing you, it's not wowing you. But if I like you, the little like mediocre that you have is not as mediocre as it would be if you were just like, you wouldn't be booty call status because you're not working with enough for me to justify just keeping it unsex.
I have never in my life ever had a. You know what I'm saying, A sneaky link. And it was because the. The dick was literally was mediocre. You know what I'm saying? Like that is the. That is the price, that is the incentive.
[00:55:52] Speaker A: Yeah, it's good.
[00:55:53] Speaker B: Dig?
[00:55:53] Speaker A: That is hilarious.
[00:55:54] Speaker B: So it's.
[00:55:55] Speaker A: Oh God.
[00:55:56] Speaker B: But if you are so. So. But you still do what I need you to do. You know what I mean? But I pretty much really like it.
[00:56:03] Speaker A: Like 80 of America, honestly. Like relationships probably with some basic ass peen.
[00:56:08] Speaker B: Oh my God, them poor babies.
Because I don't think I. Look, I told you my ex husband was ugly if he was not blessed.
Okay, I'm just gonna tell you right now.
[00:56:21] Speaker A: She done killed our producer.
God damn it.
[00:56:24] Speaker B: If that man didn't have. Wasn't bringing dick to the table. We would have never made it. Okay. That ended up being our demise. Cause he felt like he needed to share.
[00:56:34] Speaker A: That's facts, though, because I've had a couple guys that I did talk to, and I was like, I like them intellectually. Right. But it was really easy to be, like, when it wasn't working. It wasn't working because they had.
[00:56:47] Speaker B: They wouldn't want.
[00:56:50] Speaker A: I was really stretching myself thin. I, I. I promised myself at this stage in my life with all that.
[00:56:54] Speaker B: I was Stretching yourself thin?
Was he stretching?
[00:56:58] Speaker A: I wasn't stretching. No, he wasn't stretching.
I was stretching myself trying to get down low enough, like.
[00:57:05] Speaker B: Oh, right there.
Right there.
[00:57:09] Speaker A: But I promised myself at this stage in my life, you know, given all that I've been through and all the things, I refuse to ever be in a relationship with somebody that I'm not satisfied with sexually.
[00:57:16] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:57:16] Speaker A: It's not because I can't make it work. It's because I deserve a good penis.
[00:57:23] Speaker B: I don't know what that's like. That is the key to every good relationship. Like, look at. I mean, Keisha Kaor just went on a radio show and let it be known that this nigga is legitimately fucking crazy.
[00:57:34] Speaker A: He's fucking, like, the shit out of her.
[00:57:36] Speaker B: Listen, from jail and everywhere else, she be wagwan. Wa gwan, wa gwan. Like, she be tearing that shit out the frame. He gotta be. Cause there ain't no way that she is dealing with no psychotic episodes by this man.
And he has got.
[00:57:51] Speaker A: Yeah, ain't no way.
[00:57:52] Speaker B: Same thing with Kanye. Kanye gotta have good dick. There's no way in the world. Cause what else is Kanye bringing to the table?
Is he beatboxing on the coochie? Like, what is happening? And.
[00:58:05] Speaker A: He'S a good dj, you know? Yeah.
[00:58:07] Speaker B: You know what I'm saying?
Like, what is happening? There's got to be an incentive. So I definitely. I feel like the fact that she. She sounds so underwhelmed with this man.
[00:58:18] Speaker A: That she's not happy.
[00:58:19] Speaker B: She's not happy. And I think that she keeps telling.
[00:58:22] Speaker A: Herself she's trying to convince herself that.
[00:58:24] Speaker B: She'S not happy, but he's a good man.
[00:58:25] Speaker A: He's a good man.
[00:58:26] Speaker B: Savannah.
[00:58:27] Speaker A: Savannah.
[00:58:28] Speaker B: He just going through some things. Savannah. Like, he. The dick is never gonna to get bigger.
[00:58:32] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:58:32] Speaker B: It's never going to get better.
[00:58:35] Speaker A: But. Okay, so let's talk about this. Should women lie to men about their performance? Because it sounds like she's lying.
[00:58:41] Speaker B: She's definitely lying to this man.
[00:58:42] Speaker A: And.
[00:58:43] Speaker B: And then keeping the rose Charged up.
She definitely got the rose with the attachment. She got to.
There's got. She got to.
[00:58:52] Speaker A: Your baby use this, please?
[00:58:54] Speaker B: Yeah. Or when he go to sleep, she. She go and rub one out like something's happening that is in. That is supplementing the mediocre unmagical of the magic stick.
[00:59:05] Speaker A: The unmagical magic stick. That should have been the title. Magical.
[00:59:09] Speaker B: Yes. He got the un. Magical. This is not magically delicious at all.
[00:59:13] Speaker A: Well, so I guess she didn't really ask for advice. It was just like a statement.
[00:59:16] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:59:16] Speaker A: She just.
[00:59:17] Speaker B: Well, she goes. I'm so tired of hearing him talk about something he just doesn't have. I think that because it also sounds like she, like, not necessarily resents him, but she's kind of like.
You know what I mean? Like, how she feels like she needs to hump. Yeah, she's going to.
And that she feels like she needs to humble him to a certain degree. So I. But the problem is they have never had open dialogue about conversation. Exactly. You guys, again, have not had clear communication about what does she like? Cause I think that's probably part of what it is, too. It's not even just necessarily the size. I think what doesn't make it magical for her is that he hasn't tuned into what.
[00:59:55] Speaker A: Because if it's an average size.
[00:59:57] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:59:57] Speaker A: You could still do things.
[00:59:59] Speaker B: Exactly.
[01:00:00] Speaker A: And you should be fine.
[01:00:01] Speaker B: Right.
[01:00:01] Speaker A: You just want to get your walls knocked out.
[01:00:03] Speaker B: Exactly.
[01:00:04] Speaker A: And that's.
[01:00:04] Speaker B: Yeah. He ain't put her in the diaper. Changing position or nothing.
[01:00:07] Speaker A: Nothing. I'm kidding. Yeah, Well, I mean, the advertise. I guess you can.
What's average size?
I think it's like, producer. I think it's like four inches or something.
[01:00:19] Speaker B: Four inches.
This is. That's shorter than this phone.
[01:00:25] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:00:25] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:00:25] Speaker A: I think that's technically what it is. The American. I think it is. Let me Google.
[01:00:30] Speaker B: Please Google that. Because if 4 inches is average, I.
[01:00:34] Speaker A: Knew our producer would know.
[01:00:35] Speaker B: 4. Do you know how short 4 inches is?
[01:00:38] Speaker A: It's smaller than our microphones.
[01:00:41] Speaker B: Oh, hell no.
[01:00:42] Speaker A: It's.
[01:00:43] Speaker B: Oh, hell no.
[01:00:45] Speaker A: I'm trying to think. I'm broke. Oh, okay.
Says 5.1 inches when erect.
[01:00:53] Speaker B: Wow.
[01:00:54] Speaker A: 6 inches when flaccid.
[01:00:56] Speaker B: 3.
[01:00:57] Speaker A: Wait, hold on.
[01:00:59] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[01:01:00] Speaker A: That's the size of a finger.
[01:01:02] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[01:01:02] Speaker A: Without my nail.
[01:01:04] Speaker B: No, girl, you deserve better than that, and you know that. You do.
[01:01:10] Speaker A: So now you done flipped your tune like, no, that ain't good enough. That's not good enough.
[01:01:14] Speaker B: No. Especially because not only is it average in size, but it sounds like it's average or below average in performance. And that's the thing, too. I really do believe that. Yes, it is. Like, to a certain degree, when they be like, it's not the size of the ship, it's the motion in the ocean or whatever.
Because, listen, I done definitely been turned every witch away from some average.
You know what I'm saying? But it was the fact that it was the athleticism of.
[01:01:41] Speaker A: It was.
[01:01:42] Speaker B: Was. Was what impressed me.
[01:01:44] Speaker A: Yes.
[01:01:44] Speaker B: Like, I didn't know that my leg went that high like, that type of situation. Like, if you. If you are wowing me with your performance, then, yes, we're going to give tens across the board, and it's a. Aha. Like, yes.
[01:01:56] Speaker A: Right. Like, wow.
[01:01:57] Speaker B: But he's not even. It sound like he's not even trying.
[01:02:01] Speaker A: You went from one end of the spectrum to the other now.
[01:02:03] Speaker B: No, for real. I was on his side at first.
[01:02:05] Speaker A: And now you're like, wait a minute.
Once you learn what average is.
[01:02:08] Speaker B: Well, once I found out that 3.1 is average, like, that just pissed me. But that pissed me off because I still, like.
[01:02:15] Speaker A: You can wear gray sweatpants and be okay.
[01:02:17] Speaker B: Exactly.
Exactly. This man has a extended vagina.
[01:02:23] Speaker A: Oh, God.
[01:02:23] Speaker B: Okay, no. So and I. Did we answer a question?
[01:02:27] Speaker A: I think so.
[01:02:27] Speaker B: Girl, you deserve better.
[01:02:28] Speaker A: Just either either decide that you like it or don't, or you and you.
[01:02:32] Speaker B: Need to have conversation. I feel like you guys haven't had.
[01:02:34] Speaker A: Any type of maybe don't tell him that his dick is small, but tell him. Him.
[01:02:37] Speaker B: She should tell him.
[01:02:38] Speaker A: She should guide him on ways to perform better.
[01:02:41] Speaker B: She should tell him his dick is small.
[01:02:43] Speaker A: I mean, but she done lied to him all this time now, like, it's.
[01:02:45] Speaker B: Time that we're finally having a breakthrough.
[01:02:48] Speaker A: It's time that I broke.
[01:02:49] Speaker B: It's time that I let you know I'm coming out of the closet.
Your dick is little.
[01:02:58] Speaker A: Oh, oh, oh, oh. If these walls could talk, they'd say nothing.
[01:03:01] Speaker B: They would say nothing.
[01:03:01] Speaker A: They would be whispering, tiny dick, where's it at?
[01:03:05] Speaker B: I wasn't there. Are you in yet? I haven't hit your walls.
You ain't came in 10 years, Vienna sausage.
[01:03:15] Speaker A: Can. Can the mics hear us whispering?
He's like, yes. God damn it. Okay.
I feel like this last one is. My last one's a story, and I feel like you have one more. So maybe we should go with yours and then we go with the story.
[01:03:26] Speaker B: It's very brief.
[01:03:28] Speaker A: Oh, okay. Go. Go for it.
[01:03:30] Speaker B: Did somebody really write this? This is Crazy.
[01:03:33] Speaker A: The dint liquor.
[01:03:34] Speaker B: You lint liquor. It makes me think about that.
Lint liquor.
This is crazy. Lint liquor asks, how do you eat coochie? I'm trying to see something. I know I'm not good at it. I want to get better. What are some tips?
[01:03:52] Speaker A: Huh?
[01:03:54] Speaker B: He wants to be signed. Aspiring eater. That wasn't. But I'm a fan.
[01:03:58] Speaker A: She added that in there. Aspiring.
[01:04:00] Speaker B: You want to be an eater?
[01:04:02] Speaker A: I.
I don't know. Because I've heard like lots of tips and when those get tried, I'm like, who told you that? Because that's a lie.
The Alphabet is a lie. Because.
[01:04:12] Speaker B: Oh, just to be down there.
Yeah.
[01:04:15] Speaker A: Like you. You just down there for too long and then you keep switching because the letters are different. So it's not like. You're right. I don't know. I'm a creature.
Right. Cause you're changing the next letter and you might have found a spot. Now you rolling around it like.
[01:04:29] Speaker B: Yeah, don't piss me off. Like, there's nothing that makes me so upset than somebody who doesn't know how to eat Gucci. Like, that is so rude.
[01:04:36] Speaker A: No, for real.
[01:04:37] Speaker B: Cause what are you doing down here?
[01:04:39] Speaker A: All my life you've had time to practice.
[01:04:41] Speaker B: Exactly. And I just feel like it should be an instinct. And I just feel like if you are a person who is like, not a giver and you're not like, you know, based on actually paying attention to what a person is going to respond to what you're doing. Right.
So if you're just down there for one thing. I've had my coochie sucked. And don't do that.
[01:05:03] Speaker A: Please don't.
[01:05:04] Speaker B: Cuz I don't know who told them that's what you're supposed to do. But that's crazy.
[01:05:08] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:05:09] Speaker B: So.
[01:05:09] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:05:09] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:05:10] Speaker A: Especially when you do it hard.
[01:05:11] Speaker B: Like that's exactly. What are you.
[01:05:12] Speaker A: I hate aggressive eaters.
[01:05:14] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh my God.
[01:05:15] Speaker A: Why are you down there? Like Cookie Monster. Like, that's right. That's not. That's not what it's meant for.
[01:05:20] Speaker B: That is not what you're supposed to do.
[01:05:22] Speaker A: And the tongue. I hate that. That.
[01:05:23] Speaker B: That is so crazy.
[01:05:24] Speaker A: Because it's like, why. Because your tongue is literally in a little dick. Like, why?
[01:05:28] Speaker B: That's just.
[01:05:28] Speaker A: We don't like little penises. So why would you put your time.
[01:05:30] Speaker B: Why would you put your tongue there? That is just so crazy. I just feel like there's so much playground down there too. Like, you know, I mean, if you really understand the female anatomy, like the Vagina has, like, some nice crevices and places for you to explore.
You know what I'm saying? So I just feel like just, you gotta be. Be, like, instinctive and, like, know, like, explore. Be okay with being an explorer and really, like, paying attention, right? To what is she responding to?
[01:06:00] Speaker A: Right.
[01:06:01] Speaker B: That's how you get good at it.
[01:06:02] Speaker A: That's facts, you know, there's not one, like, cookie cutter way. I think it's more like your time, though. Take your time. Explore, ask questions, pay attention.
Stay in the same spot for enough for you to get a reaction, right? A response, Right, right, right. Because it's either going to be that she responds well or she tracks, right? And then you know what to do.
[01:06:23] Speaker B: And this is how you know that you're winning. When she grabbed that head.
If she puts you in a chokehold, my guy, you're doing right.
[01:06:33] Speaker A: You will never know how strong thighs.
[01:06:35] Speaker B: Are, I swear to God. Until she puts you in that kung fu hold. When she puts you in that kung fu hold and your breathing is slightly restricted. You did, right? You are doing great.
Yeah.
[01:06:46] Speaker A: Oh, my goodness.
[01:06:48] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:06:48] Speaker A: What about those guys that tell people, like, they'd be doing the fruit. They'd be eating the fruit.
[01:06:53] Speaker B: Oh, my God. I. There, there. You know, I mean, man, I have unfollowed that. Like, why. How did you discover you knew how to do that to a peach?
What do you be doing, like, at home?
[01:07:04] Speaker A: Feels familiar. Yeah.
[01:07:06] Speaker B: There was this man, he would just.
Oh, my God. Yeah. And was like, licking, and I was like, this feels so wrong.
[01:07:12] Speaker A: And then the way that he began, like, going at it, I'm like, if you were to do that, really, to a vagina, you'd probably make it bleed.
[01:07:18] Speaker B: You would definitely give her a hysterectomy.
[01:07:21] Speaker A: So, like, who IUD is getting snatched.
[01:07:23] Speaker B: Out of my life?
[01:07:24] Speaker A: No, for real.
[01:07:24] Speaker B: Like, this is crazy. So that in itself is like. And it just. It. There's something. I don't. But I'm also, you know, me, I don't even like male strippers because I can't stand.
Like, oh, my God. Like, nothing pisses me off more than a man who be just. Just a. You know, all that shit. Like, that just irritates me bad. So I feel like between that and a person who is gonna demonstrate.
The other thing is, I don't like somebody who. I feel like you done ate everybody's coochie.
So sometimes I am suspicious of when.
[01:07:54] Speaker A: You'Re super good at it. That's what I was gonna say. So then if they too Good. Then you, like.
[01:07:59] Speaker B: Nah. Yeah, I'm cool. Yeah, you can't be too good. Cause then I feel like you just be putting your mouth on everything.
You was that kid who just was always licking, and I just don't like.
[01:08:09] Speaker A: It was very good. And I did have that thought. Like, oh, that means you've had a lot of practice and you like doing everybody.
[01:08:15] Speaker B: Because usually. Because I also had somebody. No, I had somebody that I literally almost had to, like, get, like, physical with him because I was like, are you gonna get up? Like, what are you doing? Because. And then I discovered why. Oh, he was below average, and he was placid.
[01:08:35] Speaker A: He was.
[01:08:36] Speaker B: That's what happens. So I think sometimes when you're, like. You focus on, like, you're trying to make up for. For. You know what, you know, you ain't about to work because you like this look. This about. This about good as it's gonna get for you.
So.
[01:08:51] Speaker A: Well, you know, take your time, pay attention.
[01:08:53] Speaker B: Just shoot for the headlock. If she doesn't put you in a headlock, you've still got some work to do. All right.
[01:08:58] Speaker A: Yeah. I love it. Okay, this one's long. So I'm gonna read. I'm gonna do my best because I'm not the best reader out there, but this one is Portland Public School. So, listen, I went to a private school.
I did transition to a public school, and that's when I found boys.
I'm. I'm a creative. Okay, listen, I like math. Okay. I like numbers.
All right, this one is titled Dick Pick included, which it was. Oh, my God. Okay. Definitely got an email with the dick pic. A whole dick pig. Okay, I just want to start off by saying that you both are amazing, and you deliver some such entertaining, hysteric, hilarious content. Your awesome dirty roses podcast YouTube videos. You have so much positive energy together, and you choose. Well, I'm gonna skip all this because she just. I mean, thank you. We appreciate you. Thank you so much. We love you too.
She loves story time with dating. The. She loved the real reactions that we did last season. Okay, I'm paraphrasing now. Sorry, guys.
It works. So she is. It's crazy that Nick B. Asked for dick pics, and her inbox is not full of them, but she finds that. That when you ask for them, you never get them, and when you don't want them, you get all of them. Which is very true.
[01:10:06] Speaker B: Unsolicited.
[01:10:07] Speaker A: Absolutely. Which is just. How did men find seeing those pics become the thing? And just how do they expect us to respond back to them. Somehow they seem to have become a replacement for flowers.
I'm on a bouquet of dicks.
[01:10:25] Speaker B: Give me my dicks while I'm living.
[01:10:26] Speaker A: So she's writing with a story of hers about an unsolicited dick pic that she had to share it. It also shows just what can go wrong with these pictures when sent out without permission.
So on with her story. A guy I used to work with used to always brag about having a huge penis. He always looked for an opportunity to talk about how big it was and how many women were after him because of it. He once said that he had a 10 incher. I'm sure you've both come across someone like that that at this stage in your life.
We have. Unfortunately, this is. This all changed, however, when he sent me a dick pck. His pick was a closeup of his penis with the ruler right next to it. Okay. So if you're a 10 incher and you're putting a ruler next to it, okay, we know. Doing it for comparison.
[01:11:12] Speaker B: Got some receipts.
[01:11:13] Speaker A: I could see exactly how long it was fully erect. I don't know what he was thinking, but it wasn't anything to boast about.
It looked like it was only about five and a half inches long.
[01:11:24] Speaker B: So he was average.
[01:11:25] Speaker A: First of all, if you tell people you're a 10incher, do not send a picture with the ruler next to it.
Get you a little Apple TV remote, right?
[01:11:37] Speaker B: Or don't have anything for comparison next to it. Just like make sure you take it real close.
[01:11:42] Speaker A: Or at least stab the ruler really deep into your pelvis so it starts a little further into your neck.
Okay. He then sent me a message around 15 minutes later, begging me not to show it to anybody and saying that he was so sorry. But I had already sent it to every single one of my female friends at that point.
What woman wouldn't have? Okay, first of all, that's revenge porn. So you shouldn't do that. You really shouldn't.
Yeah, so we don't send it. We might, right?
[01:12:09] Speaker B: We might laugh about it.
[01:12:11] Speaker A: Pull up on a phone. But you can't send to people. That's wrong.
[01:12:13] Speaker B: Right.
[01:12:14] Speaker A: It also causes a paper trail.
[01:12:15] Speaker B: It does. And you don't do that. Don't do that no more.
[01:12:18] Speaker A: It was no accident that he sent it to me though. As I found out that he had sent it to someone else the same apology to around 15 minutes later.
So he was just on a dick pic sentence spree. Is this an apology? Apparently.
I think that some of them needed to really. Some of them needed a really good laugh, so I'm sure as hell that they got one. From then on, we kept making jokes at work about by measuring various items in the office with the ruler and saying things like, damn, that thing looks smaller than I expected.
Objects are closer than.
It doesn't even measure 6 inches. Followed by lots of laughter. It was funny watching him go red as a beetroot even though we weren't even talking about his junk.
They really do need to understand that if they were to send unsolicited dick pics that these. There's open season for assisting it to all of our girlfriends at this point to laugh at. Blah, blah, blah, blah.
The dick pic guy left two weeks later, probably though through embarrassment. Our boss didn't understand what was going on until after he left. Afterwards we told her and she had a really good laugh and said it was served him right. How could he carry on working normally after doing all that?
Now, this is. This is the reason why I consider an erect penis 6 inches or less to be small.
Do they expect us to react to their unsolicited dick pics as a message of, oh, that's such a nice penis. Is that all for me?
Wow, I feel so lucky now it's so big, it's a turn on. Okay. She just goes on and on and on and on.
And then. P.S. if you want to see the pic I received, I've added it down below just to show you how ridiculous the whole approach was. So.
[01:13:48] Speaker B: So she's such a sharer.
[01:13:50] Speaker A: She shared a little too much. First of all, we may have printed the picture and then deleted it.
We will have no paper trail because he didn't send it to us. So there's that. However, sir, 10 inches. You're telling people you have a 10 inch dick and then you send a ruler picture.
So you did see it.
[01:14:09] Speaker B: Yes.
[01:14:10] Speaker A: And it was absolutely five and a half inches.
[01:14:11] Speaker B: And you don't make good decisions.
[01:14:13] Speaker A: No.
[01:14:13] Speaker B: Because the level of delusion that you have is crazy.
[01:14:16] Speaker A: That you send it to two people.
[01:14:18] Speaker B: In 15 minutes that are not only that. How is this not considered to be sexual harassment in the workplace?
[01:14:23] Speaker A: That part like, y' all are laughing about it, but he should have got fired and then you should go to jail. But.
[01:14:28] Speaker B: Right, so it's a good thing no one's playing by the rules here because clearly there's so much wrong with that. But the other part of it is like I. And people always say to me too, they're like, you know, I I've definitely seen a pretty penis before.
I.
I don't. Especially when it comes to an unsolicited one.
[01:14:49] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:14:50] Speaker B: I've never been like, o. You know what I'm saying? Like, I definitely want to get to know you.
[01:14:54] Speaker A: Yes.
[01:14:55] Speaker B: Right. Because you got a pretty penis. Like, I've just never.
[01:14:58] Speaker A: Unsolicited is always ugly.
[01:15:00] Speaker B: It's crazy.
[01:15:00] Speaker A: It's always ugly. I've seen some pretty penis.
[01:15:02] Speaker B: I think about Bridesmaids where she was like, how does the penis look? Like, God damn it.
That's all I can ever think of.
[01:15:12] Speaker A: Oh, my God. But that's hilarious. Like, so that is the thing. Now, I will say, since maybe two seasons ago, the dick pics have absolutely slowed down in my inbox because they.
[01:15:22] Speaker B: Know that they are going to get put on blast, which I think is good. I actually is so crazy.
So my family is originally from the Middle East, St. Louis. So being as I don't have the family last name, I have my dad's last name. I have a lot of people that have connected to me on social media because of the mutual friends and not realizing that we're family.
[01:15:45] Speaker A: Oh, God.
[01:15:46] Speaker B: And there is.
[01:15:48] Speaker A: I already know where this is going. Oh, guys.
[01:15:50] Speaker B: He has a cousin, and I just feel I can never look at his mom, like, the same because I want to tell her so bad. Like, your son is a whole freaking pervert because. Because I've had to block him on social media because of the amount of unsolicited dick pics and videos that he has sent me.
Yes.
[01:16:11] Speaker A: And he knows your family well.
[01:16:13] Speaker B: When I got the first dick pic, I felt the need to let him know, like, you know, you're my cousin.
[01:16:19] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
[01:16:21] Speaker B: And so that should have been fine, but from that point.
[01:16:26] Speaker A: Oh, God.
[01:16:26] Speaker B: He considered it to be, like, I guess a challenge of, like, I don't know. I don't know.
[01:16:32] Speaker A: It's the wrong challenge.
[01:16:33] Speaker B: There's so much wrong. So when his mom the other day posted and was like, happy birthday to my son, I'd be like, yo, nasty ass son.
And it's so crazy because, like, it just shows the level of dysfunction in my family, first of all.
[01:16:48] Speaker A: Oh, God.
[01:16:48] Speaker B: But that is great. But also, again, it almost at some point becomes, like, predominantly predatory.
[01:16:55] Speaker A: That is true.
[01:16:56] Speaker B: It very much gives me, like, sexual deviate, like, you know, like Predator, when you send stuff that I didn't necessarily ask for, especially something that intimate.
[01:17:06] Speaker A: You know what's interesting, I found early on in the dick pic phase of my inbox was that a lot of Guys would send me an unsolicited. Unsolicited dick pic and then expect a photo in return.
And I'd be like, so it was.
[01:17:19] Speaker B: Like an invitation, right?
[01:17:20] Speaker A: But I'm like, but I didn't, I didn't ask for this. And now you are getting mad because I'm not responding in the way that you want me to. Like, I've had. I've gotten cussed out before.
[01:17:29] Speaker B: Oh my God.
[01:17:29] Speaker A: I've gotten absolutely cussed out.
[01:17:31] Speaker B: These are people that need to register. I'm so. I don't care what nobody says very much. Girl, I do.
I do that. Is that to me, it gives me a very unhealthy boundary whenever it comes to absolutely just sex in general. Like, I, I. And maybe I'm going to.
But a person who can send an unsolicited dick pic also may have a hard time knowing that no is no.
[01:17:54] Speaker A: That's very facts.
[01:17:55] Speaker B: They could probably definitely be a cookie taker.
[01:17:58] Speaker A: Oh, Jesus. Lord have mercy.
[01:18:01] Speaker B: I'm just saying. Yeah. Especially for him to turn around. Like, you're turned on by knowing that I'm sending you something you didn't necessarily ask for. Like, is that what got you aroused? Is that what brought you to the point of being hard? Because you know that you're sending me some shit. I ask for. Let's give them predator.
[01:18:18] Speaker A: That is giving predator. O. Okay, so don't send unsolicited dick pics. Not to your co workers.
[01:18:23] Speaker B: Especially not to your co workers.
[01:18:24] Speaker A: Don't. Multiple co workers.
[01:18:26] Speaker B: Right.
[01:18:26] Speaker A: And let's not share the dick pics that are unsolicited because that's still not a good thing.
[01:18:31] Speaker B: And let's not be delusional about the size that we have. If you are lacking.
If you're lacking girth. Cuz didn't nobody even ask you for that. No one even looks size. I, I feel like seven is a safe size.
[01:18:45] Speaker A: I mean, like, not. That's, that's length.
[01:18:46] Speaker B: Girth, girth, girth. Oh, it can't be too big because you ain't about to blow me out. So I just, I just feel like.
[01:18:53] Speaker A: I got to be able to touch my fingertips.
[01:18:55] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:18:56] Speaker A: Okay.
[01:18:56] Speaker B: Yep, yep. I feel. I mean, I'm okay if it don't cup all the way around.
I'm okay if you know what I'm saying. If I got a little gap between. You know what I'm saying?
[01:19:07] Speaker A: Okay. Okay.
[01:19:08] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:19:08] Speaker A: I mean, I got, I got long nails, so I'm.
[01:19:10] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. So I'm okay if, like, if it's not all the way wrapped around or whatever, but like all this.
[01:19:16] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:19:17] Speaker B: Ain't no way in hell.
[01:19:18] Speaker A: You know what's worse than a short penis? A short, fat penis.
[01:19:22] Speaker B: Yeah, it definitely. Because it's just not cool.
[01:19:25] Speaker A: Yeah, they're like the little incense.
Not this little cones that be smoking that reminds me of.
[01:19:32] Speaker B: Now they got a be.
[01:19:33] Speaker A: You like that, girl?
A beanie. Yo, I forgot about bees.
Oh, God, that is crazy. Folks used to really go to the.
[01:19:42] Speaker B: Store and buy bees and buy a be.
[01:19:43] Speaker A: Oh, that's so funny.
[01:19:44] Speaker B: That is so crazy.
[01:19:45] Speaker A: Y. That's great. Well, listen, on that note, right, if you too, want to send a letter to Dirty Rose's podcast, these are some awesome stories. No, really, thank you all for sending. I. I put a call out and y' all really came through, and they did, and I appreciate that. I think there are still people that were waiting on getting the letters in, so we'll do those next season.
But you can absolutely DM us at Dirty Roses Podcast. You can send the email to Dirty Roses letters, and that's Dirty Roses with an S Letters with an S gmail dot com.
And we will keep it anonymous. You can make a fake email and send it or whatever. Or you can.
[01:20:20] Speaker B: It's a safe space.
[01:20:21] Speaker A: It is a safe space.
[01:20:21] Speaker B: It won't be disclosed.
[01:20:22] Speaker A: Absolutely not. We're going to shred these afterwards.
But, Ms. Charlisa, where can people find you?
[01:20:28] Speaker B: You can find me on Instagram Milani by Shadowbox. You can find me on Facebook. Either my product page, which is Milani Vegan Hair and Body Care, or my personal brand, which is Charlize the Shadow Box Harris on Facebook. Or you can also check out the website because we love. Whenever you go and show us love, you can send me some unsolicited checkouts.
[01:20:48] Speaker A: Listen, Listen.
Exactly.
[01:20:51] Speaker B: You can flirt with me at the checkout by visiting milanibeauty.com Absolutely.
[01:20:57] Speaker A: And when you go there, use the code LEIGH L E I G H for a little additional discount. You know, hooking you up.
Yeah, I think Nick B is no longer looking for dick pics. I think last season she said, oh, don't give up. She's looking for proposals and divorce paperwork, so send those. Elevation to ickbnickb. It's Nick with a K and that's on Instagram. And again, you can find us at Dirty Roses podcast on all platforms. Dirtyrosespodcast.com youm can catch me and my Z Loof gloves glasses. Okay.
[01:21:30] Speaker B: This is cute, by the way.
[01:21:31] Speaker A: These are from Z Loof. Okay. Y' all have noticed my glasses. I'm trying to get a sponsorship. I'm trying to get some free.
[01:21:36] Speaker B: Y' all hear that? Come on, Zelo. Come on.
[01:21:39] Speaker A: Do what God wants you to do. But you can find me Lila Ree at all platforms. So L, E, I G, H, L, A, R, I, E. That's every single platform. And we will catch you all next time.
[01:21:51] Speaker B: Yes. Bye. Guess what, Rose. Buddy, we are thrilled to introduce our new sponsorship packages. Be sure to hit us
[email protected] to inquire how we can showcase your brand on our platforms.
