[00:00:00] Speaker A: I'm Lila Ree. And I'm Nick B. Listen, we're just two single girls from the city of roses discussing all things love, lust, and perception. And roses are a symbol of all things beautiful about love. But as you know, love can get a little dirty. So we're here to talk about it. Dirty Roses Podcast starts now. Hey, I'm Lilaree.
[00:00:19] Speaker B: And I'm Charlisa Shadowbox.
[00:00:21] Speaker A: And welcome to Dirty Roses Podcast. Now, as you can see, I have a guest host because, you know, our normal host, she's out taking care of herself, doing big things and taking care of herself, and we talk about wellness and being. Being your best life and living forever and all the things, right? So she's out there doing that and we love it for her. And we ready to be outside together. Because by the time this airs, me and Shadowbox gonna be out in the DMV area cutting up with all the.
[00:00:45] Speaker B: Things we might actually be able to enjoy some alcohol instead of protein drinks. Like what she's having to drink right now, girl.
[00:00:50] Speaker A: Cause you saw her, like, if y' all follow her social media, you see her posting her stories for her whole journey and she absolutely went to homecoming for her. Her HBCU and was at the bar and drinking a protein shake. And I love the dedication.
[00:01:03] Speaker B: I'm here for the dedication because I.
[00:01:04] Speaker A: Sure would have been like, just give me a sugar free drink, you know, a little bit. It's okay. You know, this liver going to be fine for the surgery.
[00:01:11] Speaker C: Wait, so she can't drink or she just can't have sugar?
[00:01:13] Speaker A: I think she can't have any alcohol.
[00:01:15] Speaker B: For pre op.
[00:01:15] Speaker A: For pre op, you can't have alcohol. Caffeine. And then like a week before the surgery, you can't have. It's a liquid diet.
So she, she was going hard with the protein drinks. And I'm. I'm so proud. Nick B. Was so funny.
[00:01:27] Speaker B: We were really proud of you. Because, girl, I couldn't have did it.
[00:01:29] Speaker A: Listen, I'm.
[00:01:30] Speaker B: I'm too big back for that, okay? I can't.
[00:01:35] Speaker A: But guess what, y' all, speaking of big backs, and I don't know how that, you know, hunters hunt big backs, I guess.
[00:01:42] Speaker B: Yeah, literally.
[00:01:43] Speaker A: Literally big backs.
[00:01:45] Speaker C: Exactly. Come on now.
[00:01:47] Speaker A: But y' all see, y' all see this fine specimen of a man right here to my left, to y' all's right? Maybe I don't know how it looks on camera, but y', all, we told y' all before we found our guy and he's been on camera. You might Hear his voice popping in and out of our scripts from the fourth wall break and all the things. He has a lot of questions INP he's been so dedicated to Dirty Russell's podcast for at least three seasons. Right now we're going further and far beyond. But the best, the best. I'm sorry, but I'm just a little partial.
[00:02:14] Speaker C: Professional.
[00:02:15] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:02:15] Speaker C: Be handsome.
[00:02:18] Speaker B: Go ahead.
[00:02:19] Speaker C: What else he do?
[00:02:20] Speaker B: Chocolate. Chocolate.
[00:02:22] Speaker C: Just keep speaking on him.
[00:02:24] Speaker A: Listen, he is all the things that your producer won't do, okay?
But welcome our very special guest. Coming from behind the camera now. But this is how dope he is. He's producing right now while he's on the show. That's what professionalism looks like. Right? That's what I'm talking about. So shout out to our guest today, Mr. Kenny X. Hamlet.
[00:02:44] Speaker C: Oh, she put the X in it, too.
I do keep.
That's how I address myself as well.
[00:02:49] Speaker A: Cause listen, well, let's talk about this. Because the way that I messed up and added his twin brother on social media, first because I didn't know he was a twin, and then I added him, and I was like, bro, you don't even respond to my stuff. You don't even liking my shit. I'm like. And he's like, oh, that's my brother.
Please explain to me why your brother is Ken and you're Kenny Hamlet.
So your name is literally Kenny.
[00:03:10] Speaker C: Or is it Kenny? So my dad's name is Kenneth Wayne Hamlet.
[00:03:13] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:03:14] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:03:14] Speaker C: My name is Kenneth Xavier Hamlet, and my brother's name is Kendale Wayne Hamlet. So together, me and my twin brother make a junior, but we both got a piece of the.
[00:03:23] Speaker B: You know what?
[00:03:23] Speaker A: You get the j. He's a crazy, right?
[00:03:26] Speaker C: Together we make a junior. If we just only had one of us, we would have been a junior. But he had two, so he had to a little piece of each.
[00:03:32] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:03:32] Speaker C: So. And it's crazy. My brother has a. And we look like. It's crazy.
Literally, me and my brother look the same. But even crazier. If you look at photos of us from, like, right now, you look at my dad when he was our age.
[00:03:44] Speaker A: Oh, wow. So y.
[00:03:45] Speaker C: Look at my uncle.
[00:03:47] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:03:47] Speaker C: The same. Like, we all have, like, the same fac. My brother has a kid. My brother has a kid.
[00:03:52] Speaker A: Look just like y' all the same.
[00:03:54] Speaker C: Our baby pictures, you couldn't tell them apart other than the fact that, like, his. Ours is done in the 90s. His done in the 2000 and 20s.
[00:03:59] Speaker A: Oh, my God, that's hilarious.
If I Ever had. If I ever had twins, I would do something like that. So that way, if I got y' all mixed up, it wouldn't really matter too much.
[00:04:08] Speaker C: Oh, my dad can't tell the difference.
[00:04:09] Speaker A: He can't to this day.
[00:04:11] Speaker C: No. He be calling us all different names.
[00:04:13] Speaker A: That.
[00:04:13] Speaker B: You know what? I think that just happens because I do the same thing. I got three kids. I even call my daughter my son's names. Like.
[00:04:21] Speaker C: That'S neglect.
[00:04:23] Speaker B: She be like, mom.
[00:04:24] Speaker A: Like, I'm the first one.
[00:04:25] Speaker B: Like, really?
[00:04:26] Speaker A: Yeah, I do.
[00:04:27] Speaker B: I'm like, mikey.
[00:04:27] Speaker A: She be like, mom, listen, listen. I'm so mad that. But have y' all ever done a thing where you guys switch and don't tell nobody?
[00:04:35] Speaker C: We. We.
We always tried to look different when we was younger. So, like.
[00:04:39] Speaker B: So you guys were always.
[00:04:40] Speaker C: Now we both bald. So now. Yeah. Yeah, we try to always be different, like. Like, even when y' all never were.
[00:04:45] Speaker A: Like, let's.
[00:04:46] Speaker C: Yeah, so we really never play on this girl. But then when we. When we was in. In middle school, I was a little bit of a nurse, so I played in the orchestra. I was on the violin, and my brother played saxophone, and. And so we switched for band class. Band, orchestra class.
Oh, that clearly didn't work. No. Hell, no.
[00:05:02] Speaker B: Okay, wait, so he was in, like.
[00:05:05] Speaker C: Yeah. He didn't know what he was doing. I didn't know what I was doing. We got away for it for, like, 15 seconds. No way to go back and switch.
[00:05:11] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:05:11] Speaker B: You guys didn't think that went all the way through.
[00:05:12] Speaker C: I mean, we just thought it'd be funny, and it.
[00:05:14] Speaker A: That's hilarious. You never did it on a date? Never did the date thing.
[00:05:17] Speaker C: Because we also got. I mean, I don't want to say we got a different type, but we got different types.
[00:05:22] Speaker B: Got you.
[00:05:22] Speaker A: Okay. Makes sense. Makes sense.
[00:05:24] Speaker B: But I love that, though. Like, how does that work as far as, like, being a twin? Because I know a lot of times they expect you guys to kind of.
[00:05:29] Speaker C: Like, that's my best friend.
[00:05:31] Speaker B: Got you.
[00:05:31] Speaker C: Yeah, I talk to my brother, like, every day.
I ain't gonna say every day. We at least text every day, but, like, I'll talk to him on the phone three, four times a week.
[00:05:40] Speaker A: Whoa. Wow.
[00:05:41] Speaker B: I love that.
[00:05:41] Speaker C: Yeah, I love that.
[00:05:42] Speaker A: Did y'. All. Does his kid get confused ever?
[00:05:46] Speaker C: No, man. Let's skip that question now. I'm a bad uncle. I'm really a bad uncle.
[00:05:51] Speaker B: Oh, no, not you. A drunk.
[00:05:52] Speaker C: I knew there was something you didn't do.
[00:05:54] Speaker B: Well, I knew it.
[00:05:54] Speaker A: The kid's 15. I haven't seen him since he was in the sack for.
[00:06:00] Speaker C: I'm. I'm a bad uncle. I. I don't even. I don't even be talking to my brother's kid. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, I'll do it every now and then.
[00:06:07] Speaker B: There are certain people that are just not kid people like my brother.
[00:06:10] Speaker C: I love kids.
[00:06:11] Speaker A: That's the crazy part.
[00:06:12] Speaker C: Oh, okay.
[00:06:13] Speaker A: Making it worse.
He's like, yeah, you're right.
[00:06:17] Speaker B: My brother do not like kids. But, like, they love their Uncle Charles. But my brother, he's like, he's not gonna call. And, like, let me see a picture of my little bit, you know? Like, he's not like that.
[00:06:25] Speaker C: I'm like an in person person. And it's like. It's like my brother's like, you know, we've been together forever, so it's like that. I'm a rock with him. I'm calling him and I'm like, bro, I just want to talk to you. I don't want to talk to your little kid.
[00:06:35] Speaker B: Like, not that this wasn't a conference call.
[00:06:37] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:06:39] Speaker A: F them kids.
[00:06:40] Speaker C: Yeah. I was really having to talk to myself and be like, yo, like.
[00:06:45] Speaker B: Put.
[00:06:46] Speaker C: Kadir on the phone. Yeah, put Kadir on the phone real quick. And he don't be wanting to talk to me anyway. He be like, playing with his tablet and shit. And I'm like, bro, right, right, right.
[00:06:54] Speaker A: It's been 18 years now. You want to be my uncle?
Give me some rent money. I was shooting in a g.
He don't care.
[00:07:03] Speaker C: He don't. He don't care. I don't care. We see. It's. It's mutual.
[00:07:06] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:07:06] Speaker C: Now he's. He's older now, so it's like. It's a little. He's six.
[00:07:11] Speaker B: And kids are a little bit.
[00:07:12] Speaker C: They are. Cuz. He'll be. I'm like, bro, put him on the phone. He'll be like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:07:19] Speaker B: Okay. Yeah, yeah.
[00:07:20] Speaker C: All right. Bro, get off the phone.
[00:07:22] Speaker B: Right. Exactly. Yeah. No, my. My grandson does. You know, I have a grandson who's like seven.
[00:07:26] Speaker C: Grandson?
[00:07:26] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:07:27] Speaker C: How are you a grandma?
[00:07:28] Speaker A: Right?
[00:07:28] Speaker B: Like grown ass kids.
[00:07:30] Speaker A: You a gift.
[00:07:30] Speaker C: All right.
Put that in the bio.
[00:07:37] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:07:37] Speaker B: For real? Yeah. No, he's seven and he's like. He doesn't even hide that he doesn't want to talk to me. Like, sometimes.
[00:07:42] Speaker C: That's because kids now are.
[00:07:44] Speaker B: They really are. And they don't even hide it. Like, you know, as kids, we weren't allowed to be go and get that girl hug, right?
[00:07:49] Speaker A: Oh, no, that. We had to. We were forced.
[00:07:52] Speaker B: Now, these kids are so. And I get. That's nice that we believe in, like, them, like, having autonomy, but, like, low key. I feel like our parents did it right, because we, like, had to show some manners. Like, my grandson hurts my feelings at least once a week.
[00:08:05] Speaker A: I think there's a difference between manners and then being forced to be, you know, whatever.
[00:08:08] Speaker B: Like, yeah, like, don't get. There's boundaries.
[00:08:10] Speaker A: Yeah, there's boundaries. Right. But you still gotta be respectful kids, they ain't respectful.
[00:08:14] Speaker B: Not at all.
[00:08:15] Speaker A: They have. They have boundaries, and they're disrespectful within boundaries.
100. They be like, they don't want you to cross this line for me, so what I'm gonna do, like, you know what? We should learn how to take boundaries from kids. Because they, you know, because they people, as adults, we'd be like, oh, boundaries. You cross my boundary. But, you know, Boundari boundaries are really yours not to cross. Kids wholeheartedly be like, you know, I don't like that. So I'm gonna go over here because.
[00:08:37] Speaker B: I don't like that I said no.
[00:08:38] Speaker A: And I. Yeah.
[00:08:39] Speaker C: And then they stay over there.
[00:08:40] Speaker B: Yeah, for real.
[00:08:41] Speaker A: And we be sitting there like, yeah.
[00:08:43] Speaker B: They take it to an extreme, though.
[00:08:46] Speaker A: That's wild. Okay, so personality wise, clearly, y' all are, like, two different ends of the spectrum as far as what you like to do in life. Maybe.
[00:08:53] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah, I would say so. My brother is like. He also don't have no friends.
Like, he really don't have no friends.
[00:09:00] Speaker A: But you know what? I blame you. He's a comedian, though, right?
[00:09:02] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, he's a comedian. And so it's like, he'd just be.
[00:09:04] Speaker B: Out, don't have friends, I feel like.
[00:09:06] Speaker A: Because they'd be making fun of them, and they'd be like, damn, I'm gonna be a part of your act.
[00:09:09] Speaker C: Yeah, I mean, for sure. Cause he'd be clowning me on this, and I'd be like, bro, chill out. And he put some shit on Instagram the other day. And I was like, bro, take that off the Internet. No, no, I don't need that.
[00:09:18] Speaker B: We were just saying the other day, like, nothing's off limits.
[00:09:20] Speaker C: So, like, I'm sure he be bringing up shit. I'm like, bro, he's joking. It's a joke.
[00:09:25] Speaker A: It's a joke. Has any of his jokes ever got you in trouble with somebody?
[00:09:30] Speaker C: I mean, like, so my ex. Girl and I. It was a white girl, and so. And Then I'm dating another white girl now. And he had made some jokes, and then it was, like, fresh in our relationship, and I was like.
And I had made the joke that my parents don't like me dating white girls.
And I forgot to tell her that. That it was a joke.
[00:09:48] Speaker B: That it was a joke.
[00:09:50] Speaker C: Yeah. So then she's rocking with me for like, three, four, five months. And, and, and at that point, I was like, okay. I think we were like five months in. And I was like, okay, you can meet my parents. Like, they want to know we're old enough now.
[00:10:01] Speaker B: Right?
[00:10:02] Speaker C: And she was like, oh, fuck. Like your parents don't like white girls. And then my brother's over here clowning, nervous about me. Yeah. And then my brother's over here clowning about a white girl. And I was like, oh, shit, I didn't tell you. I was kidding about that.
[00:10:14] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:10:14] Speaker C: So it kind of turned into a moment, but we got through it.
[00:10:17] Speaker A: Good.
[00:10:17] Speaker C: It was all right.
[00:10:18] Speaker A: Good.
[00:10:18] Speaker B: So you guys have been together how long?
[00:10:20] Speaker C: Like five years.
[00:10:21] Speaker B: Oh, wow.
[00:10:22] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:10:23] Speaker B: Okay. And you, you're not ready to get married?
[00:10:25] Speaker A: Oh, oh, I, I, we, I, I forgot to give her the rundown of what to talk about or what not that hunting career.
[00:10:34] Speaker C: I'm an open book. I think, I think marriage is, marriage is scary as it is.
[00:10:39] Speaker A: You're talking to two divorces.
[00:10:40] Speaker C: Yeah, that's exactly my point.
[00:10:42] Speaker B: Exactly. Yes. I'm curious to know how you, like, from a male perspective, how you guys view marriage.
[00:10:46] Speaker C: I always, I, I sound like, I, I recognize, I sound like, you know, the type of dude, what you going to add to the table?
And I got a table.
[00:10:55] Speaker B: Got you, got you.
[00:10:58] Speaker C: I got a table. So I really do be like, what, what is this person going to add to my life?
[00:11:02] Speaker B: 100.
[00:11:03] Speaker C: Do we fit together in bigger picture? Like, I'm thinking long term. How do you raise a child? Like, all the things my life is like, so up in the air, and I don't know what, like, I'm like, I'm trying to go buy some land in Ghana and build a house and go live out there part time.
How do we do all of that exactly? How do we do all that together? And so I think marriage.
[00:11:21] Speaker A: Wait, would she get citizenship if she goes too?
[00:11:23] Speaker C: Yeah. I talked to some folks and they was like, you'd be good.
[00:11:26] Speaker A: The white people get citizens.
[00:11:27] Speaker C: It was crazy because they were like, they're gonna love you more here. Oh, yeah.
[00:11:30] Speaker B: They don't brought some money.
[00:11:31] Speaker A: They brought some money to the country.
[00:11:33] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:11:33] Speaker C: Literally.
[00:11:34] Speaker B: Literally, yes. AFFLUENCE is automatic.
[00:11:36] Speaker C: Yeah. They just assume it with whiteness. And I was like, that's kind of crazy.
[00:11:40] Speaker B: It is.
[00:11:40] Speaker A: That is hilarious.
[00:11:41] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:11:42] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:11:42] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:11:42] Speaker A: Oh, God. Okay, so congratulations. Yeah.
[00:11:45] Speaker B: For being, like, unlike a lot of people. Because the people who typically pose that.
I've been just saying. I'm like, the people who typically pose that, like, what do you bring to the table? Question.
[00:11:54] Speaker C: Yeah, they ain't got no table.
[00:11:55] Speaker B: People that don't have no table, they only bring things to the table. Is nothing but, like, a dick and a napkin.
[00:12:00] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:12:00] Speaker B: Like, that's not cool.
[00:12:01] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:12:01] Speaker B: So 100.
[00:12:03] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. So I try to set my life up, and I'm like, if somebody's gonna be in it, they gotta add to it. Like, for real. For, like. I really, really, really want to be like, okay. If I'm gonna tie myself to somebody, we gotta be on the same journey together.
And I'm so focused in what I do that I'm like, if you can't. If you can't rock with me, rock with me. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you don't know. And it's scary. And I'm like, you gotta go through shit, and I don't. Like, you know.
[00:12:28] Speaker A: What'd you say? You gotta see people in all their seasons.
[00:12:30] Speaker B: Right.
[00:12:30] Speaker A: So it's like, I gotta see how you respond to certain things that happen in life. And until I see that, I don't know if it's the right fit, because. Not gonna purposely throw them in a situation, but you want to see how they naturally progress into things.
[00:12:41] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:12:42] Speaker A: So I totally feel that.
[00:12:42] Speaker B: But I do think also the trouble with that is, like, when we're like, I don't know how old you are, but I think a part of that is, like, we date differently when we're, like, super young versus, like, whenever we.
[00:12:52] Speaker C: Get a little older.
[00:12:53] Speaker B: You know what I mean? And just like, the same thing. Like, even on the panel, whenever you were like, what would you like the questions to ask? I'm like, I think the problem is when we're younger, we don't even know what questions.
[00:13:03] Speaker A: We don't know what we're looking for.
[00:13:05] Speaker B: We're literally just looking for companions. And now at this point, we're looking at these things. Like, do you speak to the tomorrow me?
[00:13:11] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:13:12] Speaker B: You know, like, how. How is that going to work? Or I'm kind of cool right now with myself.
[00:13:16] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:13:17] Speaker B: Right.
[00:13:17] Speaker C: How we grow together.
[00:13:18] Speaker A: Right.
[00:13:18] Speaker C: I think that's the thing people forget is, like, the person you met, and that's how me and my ex broke up because it was like, the person she met.
I worked in finance.
[00:13:26] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:13:26] Speaker C: And then I, like, quit that. Got into filmmaking, pursuing passion. My whole life changed. And so then she was like, who is this dude?
Right? And then it became like the competition thing, and I was like, oh, shit. And we were together for like four years. So then I'm like. I'm like, okay, now I see it like, you gotta know for sure.
That's a long time.
[00:13:45] Speaker B: Right.
[00:13:45] Speaker C: And I'm like, a lot of stuff happens and changes and people develop to be different people. As you should.
[00:13:50] Speaker B: Right, right.
[00:13:51] Speaker C: You should become a different. Are you the same person you were five years ago? You got. You got.
[00:13:54] Speaker B: But that means usually the rebuttal, like, I'm same person. You might be.
[00:13:57] Speaker C: Right, right.
[00:13:58] Speaker A: And I'm like, that's a problem.
[00:14:01] Speaker C: She's supposed to be somebody else.
[00:14:03] Speaker B: Exactly, exactly. Yeah. That's what I tell people all the time, too. Like, you know, minus the infidelity in my marriage. Even if there wasn't that, we probably wouldn't have worked because he didn't work with like the now me versus the 20 something. You know what I mean? Fresh out of bees.
[00:14:20] Speaker A: That's facts. That's facts. And you said that you're still kind of developing what you're doing and how you're moving and you're figuring some things out. So if you haven't figured that out, you don't want to throw somebody in the mix of trying to figure that out for you or with you. You want to have that established.
[00:14:31] Speaker C: Yeah. And I don't want to be the one that gets married, have people up in my face in my wedding, and then be, oops.
[00:14:39] Speaker B: Right?
[00:14:39] Speaker C: You know, like, I think I, like, think about all this shit and so I think about all the pictures and I'm like. Like the picture of life, you know? And so I think that's. That's probably like my biggest fear of, like, getting married. And then. Because I only want to do it once. I only want to do it once. If I mess that up, I'm probably not gonna do it again.
[00:14:53] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel that.
[00:14:55] Speaker C: I'm like, I'll just go ahead and just go get somebody pregnant and just.
[00:14:59] Speaker A: Have me shut the front door.
[00:15:01] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah.
[00:15:02] Speaker C: Cause I want to be a dad with all my soul.
[00:15:03] Speaker B: Got you.
[00:15:05] Speaker C: That's. That's the thing. For sure, for sure, for sure. But I want to make sure. I was like, ready to be knock.
[00:15:09] Speaker B: Up a lesbian or something.
[00:15:10] Speaker A: There you go. Think there's no commitment, no Because I.
[00:15:13] Speaker C: Want to be a dad, though.
Oh, you mean, like, keep the kid? Yeah.
[00:15:19] Speaker A: They stay active, but it's, you know, there's no relationship expectations.
[00:15:23] Speaker B: That's what the guy on Love is blinded.
[00:15:24] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:15:25] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, yeah.
[00:15:28] Speaker B: It was like, a couple seasons ago. I think they ended up not working, but yeah, like, he had, like, a kid or whatever, and he was claiming that he didn't know what the kid looked like or that the kids didn't know who they were.
[00:15:37] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, yeah.
[00:15:39] Speaker B: Lesbian couple. And then when they broke up, then, like, everything went to damn. Yeah. So, I mean, that's a possibility.
[00:15:46] Speaker A: Yeah, it is.
[00:15:46] Speaker C: It is, it is.
[00:15:47] Speaker B: Yeah. I know a couple lesbians if you ever need it.
[00:15:49] Speaker C: That's crazy. Okay.
[00:15:51] Speaker A: Holla at your boy. You know, you mentioned filmmaking, so, like. So you do have a company.
We just go, Girlfriend. He's kidding.
Every episode we have, like, every season, we have a moment where we're like, sorry, Kenny's girlfriend. Because, like, last season, it was the strippers.
[00:16:10] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:16:10] Speaker A: And then the one before that, I forgot what it was.
[00:16:12] Speaker C: But she's cool with me. Like, she'll go to the strip club.
Yeah, she'll go to the strip club with me.
[00:16:17] Speaker A: Oh, they do?
[00:16:18] Speaker C: Okay. Yeah. We had. We've had some nights at the strip club.
[00:16:20] Speaker B: Oh, babe.
[00:16:21] Speaker A: I'd be like, here, babe, throw this money.
[00:16:22] Speaker C: Yeah, and that's what it is. Because I think going, bro, tonight we had after the strip club.
[00:16:33] Speaker A: Gracious, dirty roads.
[00:16:34] Speaker C: It was an outside moment. We was actually outside.
[00:16:37] Speaker A: Literally.
[00:16:38] Speaker C: I literally.
[00:16:41] Speaker B: My kind of party.
[00:16:42] Speaker A: I do, like, outside. Outside is fun.
[00:16:43] Speaker B: Outside is real fun. I told you. A balcony hate to see me coming.
[00:16:46] Speaker C: That's what I'm saying.
[00:16:48] Speaker A: That's great.
[00:16:49] Speaker C: People on the balcony hate to see me company.
[00:16:50] Speaker A: That's what I said. The people underbeath us. You know, folks in Mexico got a show one time, I was like, oh, had some cheers. I was like, oh, not international. Oh, international, you know?
Nah.
Probably why he's stalking me now.
[00:17:04] Speaker B: Right? That's why you got them flowers.
[00:17:08] Speaker A: No, that. That. That's what happened, actually.
What was the question so about filmmaking.
So filmmaking. We have a company. Well, obviously, you're a producer. You're a filmmaker. All the things. So it's Better Days West. That's your film production company.
Okay, beautiful. So you do all kinds of stuff. Like, clearly, you produce our podcast. You have your own podcast. You do, like, active.
[00:17:32] Speaker C: No, no, we do it a little bit here and there. I just have a lot of interest.
[00:17:37] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:17:37] Speaker C: And I like talking about my interest.
[00:17:39] Speaker A: I Got ADHD a little bit.
[00:17:40] Speaker C: A little bit. For sure. But I'm like, the kind that's, like. It's probably real ADHD, actually, because I'm all in on the thing. Yeah. I'm, like, all in on the thing. If I like a thing, it's my whole. It's my whole personality. Yeah.
[00:17:53] Speaker B: So you don't just like. Like, I think that's great for you to be somebody who, like, if you're gonna do it.
[00:17:58] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:17:58] Speaker B: You're at least good at it.
[00:17:59] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:18:00] Speaker B: There's some people who. They be all over the damn place, and they're, like, not good at any of it.
[00:18:03] Speaker A: That part.
[00:18:04] Speaker C: I also don't like being bad at stuff, though.
[00:18:06] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:18:06] Speaker C: Like, I'm not gonna do nothing that I'm gonna be bad at.
[00:18:09] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:18:10] Speaker C: You ain't gonna hear me singing, trying to make an album like, it's not gonna happen.
Do not look for my album. Right. Yeah. Yeah. We're gonna stick to the stuff.
[00:18:20] Speaker A: We.
[00:18:20] Speaker C: All right.
[00:18:20] Speaker A: I love it. Oh, my God.
[00:18:21] Speaker C: For sure.
[00:18:22] Speaker A: So we were talking behind the scenes. Emmy. Emmy award winning. Oh, no, I'm kidding.
[00:18:28] Speaker C: Don't do that.
[00:18:29] Speaker A: He's like, don't do it. Don't do it. I knocked. I was like, you know, I'm missing a thought.
[00:18:32] Speaker C: These projects. These projects that have been worked on, I've had a.
I've been blessed with the work that I've gotten into. I'll say that.
[00:18:38] Speaker A: I'll say that. Okay, we'll take that.
[00:18:39] Speaker C: We've had some cool opportunities, for sure.
[00:18:41] Speaker A: Gotcha. Got you.
[00:18:42] Speaker B: And you've been at this for how long?
[00:18:45] Speaker C: 2019 is when I first picked up a camera for video. Oh, wow. For video. Yeah. Yeah. 2019. And so it's, like, relatively new, but we've. We've had.
[00:18:54] Speaker A: So did Covid help you, like, fast track how good you got and everything? Because you had.
[00:19:00] Speaker C: So I worked for a production company, and the people in that production company were really talented, so I got to be around some really good people.
[00:19:06] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:19:07] Speaker C: And then 2020 happened.
I started doing a little bit of work on my own. People really was just trying to get black people in the door to do anything. And so I got a lot of opportunities that then, like, helped fast track me.
[00:19:19] Speaker A: Gotcha.
[00:19:20] Speaker C: And so I was working all the damn time. And when I wasn't working, I was still shooting stuff that were passion projects because I just think that, like, I understand, like, what it takes to be good at something. Right. Time and intentionality. And so I just kept fucking grinding, grinding, grinding, grinding. And then, you know, I look up and I'm like, damn. We did a whole Lot of 3,000 travel later.
[00:19:36] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:19:36] Speaker C: Yeah. Traveled the world, like.
[00:19:38] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:19:38] Speaker C: Been places, shot some crazy athletes. Like, big time, big names. And I was just like, yeah, this is kind of crazy.
[00:19:46] Speaker A: Yeah. So if y' all looking for somebody.
[00:19:48] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:19:48] Speaker A: Holla at your boy. I love it. I love it. So a lot of what I see you doing is, like, expanding the views of black folks through your outdoorsy nature.
[00:19:59] Speaker B: Right.
[00:20:00] Speaker A: Hunting, fishing. You do a lot of. You filmed a lot of things around that, but that actually is, like, a passion of yours, right?
[00:20:06] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:20:07] Speaker A: So talk about that. Like, what does that look like for you? Like, what is.
[00:20:10] Speaker C: That's new? For me, hunting is the new thing.
That's in the last three years. But. But it came because when I was a kid, I, like, struggled with black identity. Like, I didn't know what it meant. And I always liked different stuff, but then it was like, oh, you're not black. You're not this. And so I just kind of, like, kept it all tucked up and then went to college. You know, you figure yourself out when you're in college. And I just, like, just kind of following a path. And then at one point, I was like, man, fuck that shit. Like, I can just be whatever I want to be. And I'm black. Cause my ancestors is black.
[00:20:37] Speaker A: Right, Exactly.
[00:20:38] Speaker B: And nothing's gonna change that.
[00:20:40] Speaker A: You know what I mean?
[00:20:41] Speaker B: I hate how we have this idea that we're supposed to be, like, this monolith.
[00:20:44] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:20:45] Speaker B: Like, in that whole saying, like, people.
[00:20:47] Speaker C: Don'T do that, that's how I made the problem.
[00:20:49] Speaker A: And it's. It's wild because it's, like, like, outdoorsy stuff. Right. It's always viewed as, like, redneck white stuff. Right. But I'm like. But we're in Africa. Like, our ancestors literally had to hunt and do all these things. Why is that viewed wrong?
[00:21:03] Speaker B: And even once.
[00:21:03] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:21:04] Speaker B: Those of us that, you know, like, are indigenous to this country. You know what I mean? Like, that is also part of our lineage.
[00:21:11] Speaker A: Absolutely.
[00:21:12] Speaker B: It's so crazy.
[00:21:13] Speaker A: Like.
[00:21:13] Speaker B: Like, my mom grew up on a farm.
[00:21:15] Speaker A: Right.
[00:21:15] Speaker B: You know, so, like, you, like. And as most. Most of us, like, we have that. That same type of connection. So for some reason, even the whole cowboy thing, like that. That was a derogatory term.
[00:21:26] Speaker A: That part, you know, they love taking our. And making it something that we can't use no more.
[00:21:31] Speaker B: Right, Right.
[00:21:32] Speaker C: Like, you catch me in my cowboy boots.
I wear cowboy boots.
But then I'll put A sweater vest on.
You gotta do it all.
You gotta be on everything.
[00:21:43] Speaker B: Right? It's called balance. It's called balance.
[00:21:46] Speaker C: Do what you want to do.
[00:21:49] Speaker A: With his cowboy boots.
[00:21:52] Speaker C: Been wearing bandanas around the neck lately. All over the place. I'm wearing.
[00:21:56] Speaker B: Because that's the thing too. I feel like anything that we do, even if we have kind of hijacked it, I feel like we also add our, like, sauce.
[00:22:02] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, yeah.
[00:22:03] Speaker B: Seasoning. So at low key, we do make stuff hella black.
[00:22:05] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. And that's the. That's the thing is, like, I feel like. Like, with my career now, I try to focus on black stories and showing us in a way that I'm like, basically, this I'm doing now is to heal little Kenny, is what I always say.
[00:22:17] Speaker B: I love that.
[00:22:18] Speaker C: Where I'm like, I want to show, like, I want to be able to see the shit that I wanted to. That I needed when I was a kid.
[00:22:24] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:22:24] Speaker C: So I'm like, and if I'm not.
[00:22:26] Speaker B: Little kid that needs to success 100%.
[00:22:28] Speaker C: And when people ask me, like, what does success look like? I'm like, man, if. If I can get. I always say this. And, like, if I get a little, like, a letter in the mail from a little black kid that was like, yo, I'm saving my little money for a skateboard. Or I'm saving my little money for whatever. And I'm like, like, that's it.
[00:22:41] Speaker B: You've done it.
[00:22:42] Speaker C: Because little kid Kenny would have been like, yeah, I wish I could have just like, been the weird ass that I wanted to be and ride my skateboard and do all the I wanted to do.
[00:22:50] Speaker B: Right, right.
[00:22:51] Speaker C: And just be fine right now.
[00:22:53] Speaker A: Where are you from originally?
[00:22:54] Speaker C: Tacoma.
[00:22:54] Speaker A: Okay. Okay.
Hilltop.
[00:22:56] Speaker C: Hilltop. Hilltop to be the hill. Yeah, yeah.
[00:23:01] Speaker B: Let him know I learned that the other day. Let him know, what's the A for?
[00:23:06] Speaker A: No, we don't do that. I don't know. I stay on the.
I chose my side of the neighborhood. I had to take the 33 up to my side of the neighborhood.
[00:23:15] Speaker B: We was the number 7. The bus coming from Skyway was the hoodiest bus ever.
[00:23:19] Speaker A: Yo. Oh, my goodness.
[00:23:21] Speaker B: I love so to Compton. So where you're from?
[00:23:24] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I got, like, a double life, though, because my parents. My dad just, like. He's got a crazy life. Shot in the head, stabbed like, all sorts of shit. He was like. He was doing his thing. Yeah. Moved, like, ended up in Washington on accident.
[00:23:38] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:23:39] Speaker B: That's how most of us did.
[00:23:40] Speaker C: Then found my mom at the church. They got married. Then we was in on the east side real quick.
[00:23:45] Speaker B: You really do got to go to church to find somebody. Because I've been trying to figure out where my husband's at.
[00:23:49] Speaker C: He's probably at the church, but maybe not, because I'd be going to a whole bunch of church, but I go Kojic churches. And so it don't. It don't be a lot of people in them here.
[00:23:57] Speaker B: Yeah, you're right.
[00:23:58] Speaker C: You might. But you might be able to find them. Like, if you go a little further out. Out of Port Portland, like a little further out of Portland, you might be.
[00:24:03] Speaker B: Able to Damascus or something.
[00:24:05] Speaker A: Maybe.
[00:24:06] Speaker C: I mean, I feel like if you go up, like, up to the numbers, but it's because. I know. So you go to a black church, you go to a Kojic Baptist, something like that.
[00:24:14] Speaker B: Yeah, he might be there.
[00:24:16] Speaker C: Yeah. You might be able to find.
[00:24:17] Speaker B: Look, she. She doesn't look optimistic.
[00:24:19] Speaker C: I don't know.
[00:24:19] Speaker A: I'm not buying it. I feel like. Nah, for real. I don't.
[00:24:22] Speaker B: There's a lot of reverend do wrongs out here.
[00:24:24] Speaker A: I don't feel like the Portland black.
[00:24:26] Speaker B: Churches is way the same that they.
[00:24:29] Speaker C: Oh, it's not. Because when I. My dad church in general, my dad's a. And so I. He always be. I don't go to. I'm not like a. I'm not active in the church, but I go to church every now and then, and my dad will. He'll come out and.
[00:24:42] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:24:43] Speaker C: Oh, yeah.
Church ain't churching like it used to.
[00:24:47] Speaker B: It's not church like it used to. No, for real. It's not. It is not. Yeah. So he met your mom in church.
[00:24:52] Speaker C: He met her in church. And then we. We was on the east side.
But then my. My church grandma, which I call her Grandma. Grandma Dawkins.
[00:25:00] Speaker A: We were just talking about the. Not the non. The non relational relatives disclaimer.
[00:25:05] Speaker B: We family has nothing to do with blood relations.
[00:25:08] Speaker C: Oh, that part.
[00:25:09] Speaker A: That part.
[00:25:11] Speaker C: Everybody's family when they family, right?
[00:25:13] Speaker B: 100.
[00:25:13] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:25:14] Speaker B: You're stuck with us, like, going nowhere.
[00:25:16] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:25:16] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:25:17] Speaker C: That's. That's my grandma and then all my cousins and half of them ain't even related because most of them was like foster child.
So it's like we're all cousins in. In anyway Tacoma. And my dad was like. We had a drive by. My dad was like, hell no. We getting out of here. See, not dealing with all this.
[00:25:35] Speaker B: That's the first time I saw somebody with a Jheri curl and A starter jacket was in Tacoma.
[00:25:39] Speaker C: That's crazy, because you probably saw one of my. One of my cousins see you.
[00:25:43] Speaker A: Shut up.
[00:25:44] Speaker B: I swear to God.
[00:25:46] Speaker C: Yeah, Hilltop.
[00:25:50] Speaker B: For real.
[00:25:51] Speaker C: Real, for real. Especially in the 90s, yo, man.
[00:25:53] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:25:54] Speaker C: They was trying to do something.
They really was. That was.
That was it.
[00:25:59] Speaker A: Just we love for hair. Hair came from.
Make sure these Crips look good out here in these streets.
[00:26:05] Speaker B: Nice little designer touch.
[00:26:09] Speaker A: Oh, God. So that's how you ended up in Portland, huh?
[00:26:12] Speaker C: Oh, I remember how I ended up in Portland.
I went to school. I ran track in college, and then I was at Utah State. My brother was there. He left, went to Western Oregon, and he just.
I came down here, and he was like. Like, oh, yeah, you can come move to Salem. They were living in Salem, him and his wife. They left, moved to New York, and I was like, bro, I'm not following you. Another time. So then I moved up to Portland.
I love Portland, though. It's like, it's good food, good drinks. You can find community if you really look for it, right?
[00:26:42] Speaker B: Very much.
[00:26:43] Speaker C: You gotta look for it.
[00:26:44] Speaker A: Because we talked about that before. We were like. As I was telling him, I was like, you don't, but once you find it, you find it and you're good. Like, I've never had an issue finding my community in this city. City. And I know that people that come here. We've talked about trans transplants all season, but, you know, it's. It's difficult for folks to come in here and then find their community for some reason.
[00:27:02] Speaker B: Right. Because they're not.
[00:27:04] Speaker A: They're not looking. Yeah.
[00:27:05] Speaker B: They're not community.
[00:27:06] Speaker C: Because they're not.
[00:27:07] Speaker A: Right. They're not facts.
[00:27:08] Speaker B: No.
I mean, for one thing, like, they're not gonna stop unless they're doordash. They're not gonna find you at home.
[00:27:14] Speaker C: Right.
[00:27:15] Speaker B: You know what I mean? So it's like, there's just a lot of dynamics, but it's that thing like you. You have found community based on your interests.
[00:27:22] Speaker C: You got to be doing stuff.
[00:27:23] Speaker A: That part.
[00:27:24] Speaker C: You got to do stuff. You can't just be at the house and be like, I don't see nobody.
[00:27:27] Speaker B: And then mad.
[00:27:28] Speaker C: And then when you go to the.
[00:27:29] Speaker B: Grocery store, you walking around scowling, and you're like, I don't want you to say hi to me. Like, damn. What you say hi.
[00:27:35] Speaker C: Your mouth all frowned up. No, I don't want to say hi to you.
[00:27:38] Speaker A: So has it been easy for you to find communities? I mean, Oregon is very known for their outdoorsy and all the things like that. So you've been able to find, like, the black folks that do stuff.
[00:27:46] Speaker C: My black homies that do stuff in the outdoors.
[00:27:48] Speaker A: I love it.
[00:27:48] Speaker C: And it's also. It's funny, though, because it's like, my homie, homie, he's like, my brother Adam and his girl, they broke up. I was friends with his girl, but to me, I was like, yo, you can't. You can't. This is another black man. I can't hang out with this black woman who was dating him. Cause that's wrong. That feels bad to me.
[00:28:08] Speaker A: Talk about it.
Yeah.
[00:28:10] Speaker C: I'm like, there's got to be a level of respect there. And I was like. And I didn't even really know him, but I was like, okay, bet I'm gonna be friends with him. I'm gonna have to figure out my relationship with this dude because I don't want him to think that, like, I messed up their relationship. And I was. Yeah, I don't do that. Like, that's just respect.
[00:28:25] Speaker A: Right?
[00:28:26] Speaker C: And so then I was like, let's be homies. And we. We started, like, surfing and shit together. And then he was like, y', all, I got another black homie that serves. Like, let's link up. And then all of us linked up, and then we just.
[00:28:35] Speaker A: We just been friends. Like, you like surfing? You like surfing? We should be friends.
[00:28:39] Speaker C: It was a small community. We just. Just sitting on the coast, drinking whiskey chilling and see, you know what?
[00:28:44] Speaker A: High key, though. I like those types of experiences. Like, I really like. I do. I enjoy outdoor stuff. I love fishing. I love crabbing. I love camping.
[00:28:52] Speaker B: And there's all that.
[00:28:53] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:28:54] Speaker B: Out here in particular, it's so close. Right.
[00:28:57] Speaker A: You can't.
[00:28:57] Speaker C: Yeah. There's no place better than Portland. Like, a hot take. Yeah, a hot take for. Because we got food. The shit is close to us. Like, everything.
[00:29:07] Speaker B: You're, like, at the mountains, you go the other direction. You're at the coast.
[00:29:11] Speaker C: And black folks do be. Do be snowboarding, too.
[00:29:14] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:29:15] Speaker A: There's a whole black ski club. My. My bonus dad was part of the black ski club, and he had friends all over. Like, they went to trips and stuff. And that's actually how I ended up going to this business camp in Cali. I went to UCLA for a camp, and it was. I was the only person from Oregon. It was a bunch of. A bunch of kids from Compton and a bunch of kids from Englewood, and. And they were like, what are you doing here? And I was like, my bonus dad skis with this lady. So I'm here.
And it was so funny, though. But it's funny because we talk about that. Like, I was there, and they were like, oh, you bougie, you. Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. And I was like, oh. But I had to work two jobs to pay for myself to get here. They're like, what? I was like, yeah. Like, this wasn't paid for. I had to pay. I was busting my assumption.
[00:29:59] Speaker B: People know that, like, our upbringing was, like, in the Northwest.
[00:30:02] Speaker C: Somehow.
[00:30:02] Speaker A: There's, like.
[00:30:03] Speaker B: There's, like, this immediate dismissal of, like, that we ever went through any point of struggle or had to work hard or just, like, I was talking with.
[00:30:11] Speaker C: This dude, and I was filming him in South Texas, but he's from Arkansas, and he called us coastal elites.
[00:30:17] Speaker B: Elites.
[00:30:17] Speaker C: That is a. I had never heard that in my life.
Yeah. I was like, yo, that's crazy, bro. You okay?
[00:30:25] Speaker B: The assumption.
[00:30:26] Speaker C: It was like, you think you're better than us? And I was like, bro, it's not even like that.
[00:30:29] Speaker A: Does that go to both coasts? So is it?
[00:30:32] Speaker C: Yeah, I think so.
[00:30:32] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:30:33] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:30:34] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:30:34] Speaker C: I can see it out east, though.
[00:30:36] Speaker B: I could definitely see that, too.
[00:30:39] Speaker C: Playing black folks out east. I was playing. That was.
[00:30:42] Speaker A: Y'.
[00:30:42] Speaker B: All. We love y'.
[00:30:42] Speaker C: All.
[00:30:43] Speaker A: Y' all got your degrees and know everything and shit, you know?
So what is, like, your favorite outdoor thing to do?
[00:30:56] Speaker C: I don't know. I like. I like it all.
[00:30:58] Speaker A: Yeah, I know, right?
[00:30:59] Speaker C: I like it all. It's, like, seasonal for me. Like, I just want to be able to do. I want to do something all year.
[00:31:03] Speaker B: Gotcha.
[00:31:04] Speaker A: Okay, so for each season, what's your go to for each season?
[00:31:08] Speaker C: Right now it's duck hunting.
[00:31:10] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah.
[00:31:11] Speaker C: Because then I get to take my dog out with me. Yeah. And then it's like. And it's chilling.
[00:31:15] Speaker A: Right?
[00:31:15] Speaker C: I'll take you out there if you want to go.
[00:31:17] Speaker A: Let's do it.
I want to go.
[00:31:19] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:31:20] Speaker A: No, I only got one eye, so you got to show me how to, like, she can't shoot.
[00:31:22] Speaker C: We'll let him hit the water.
We'll let them hit the water. And you ain't got to shoot them when they fly. And we'll just hit the water.
[00:31:28] Speaker A: Look, she said she's gonna give me some blanks, and then there's gonna be somebody in the bushes going, like. Like, I shoot some.
[00:31:35] Speaker B: She was like, get you some bullets. I said, shit, no, those hurt, too.
[00:31:39] Speaker C: She gonna throw it in the water for you.
[00:31:41] Speaker A: Like, I'm gonna shoot A gun. And Charlize is gonna be throwing rocks. Like, oh, it's in the water.
You heard that splash?
Good job, Lee.
[00:31:48] Speaker B: Good. Duck.
[00:31:48] Speaker A: And then Kenny gonna be like, got it.
[00:31:50] Speaker B: Duck. Right?
[00:31:51] Speaker A: It'll be a whole project collection. I'm like, yay, I did it.
Y' all ain't get. Ain't y'. All.
Are y' all not coming back to the hunting trip? Yeah, it's okay.
[00:32:02] Speaker C: Somebody gonna have to look for us. Yeah, we have to share that location.
[00:32:05] Speaker A: I made no admissions on camera.
[00:32:07] Speaker B: No emissions ever happened to me. Lee did it.
[00:32:09] Speaker C: Look, look, look.
[00:32:09] Speaker A: We gonna do it before this gets edited, so that way there's no proof.
Oh, man. Okay, but. So time that in. But then you also do all the film stuff, so talk about, like, what you do in film.
[00:32:21] Speaker C: Honestly, for me, like, my career, I just. I've decided I wanted to pursue the shit that I enjoy.
[00:32:28] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:32:28] Speaker C: Yeah. Because I. I got to a point where I was filming a bun. Like, I was traveling all over consistently, like, probably 60, 70% of the year.
[00:32:35] Speaker A: Oh, wow.
[00:32:36] Speaker C: Like, on flights, working. And I was like, man, this is cool.
But I'm not. Now I'm just like. I'm just working. This is a job. And that's not why I got into this. And so now I've just been like, how do I pair my passions with work? And that's been my focus. And then it's like, it's providing me opportunities to be able to, like, help people do other shit.
[00:32:54] Speaker A: Gotcha.
[00:32:54] Speaker C: Which is great.
[00:32:55] Speaker A: Cause I know I met you because you were shooting our gala video for my day job, and that's how I met him. And I was going through some stuff with some former producers, which, you know, great guys, wonderful things. And it just wasn't, you know, we weren't mission. Well, it was timely. The time was off. And so I got to talk to him about it, and he was like, no, no, no. He's like, don't worry. I got you. I got you. And I was like, like, okay. And we've been up and stuck ever since.
[00:33:15] Speaker B: No 100%. And me being the person that she vents to, I do have to say that I've always, like, heard your, like, praises from the gate.
[00:33:23] Speaker C: So, yes, she probably said I wouldn't a couple of times, though.
[00:33:27] Speaker B: No, never.
[00:33:27] Speaker A: No, I really haven't. I really.
[00:33:29] Speaker C: Which is shocking because, you know, it's.
[00:33:31] Speaker B: Real quick to say.
So, yeah. This is a lot about you.
[00:33:34] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:33:35] Speaker A: Honestly, anything about it? Been like, well, you know, I did get the stuff. Like, so, you know, it's my fault, you know?
Yeah, it was a lot. He bit off a lot more than he could chew with this one because I said one thing and then he was like, yeah, sure. And then 10 months later, it was like, so what you really wouldn't do was 85 videos.
Yeah, I'll be quick to slide some stuff in. You know, it is what it is. But.
But so it is. You know, hey, I get to be one for a change finally. Like, but what. What about, like you said you got into film? Like, kind of like, just by chance you got into Honey, because you always been, like, kind of different. What are some of the other, like, things that you do that are like. Like, kind of like non stereotypical black?
We've been talking about this, like, behind the scenes for a long time.
[00:34:23] Speaker B: He does a stereotypical black.
[00:34:25] Speaker C: Oh, that's cold. She said I'm. She said I was whitewashed. That's what she said. That's what she said. That's what she said. You heard it. She said he.
[00:34:32] Speaker A: She said he talks on probably. Y'.
[00:34:34] Speaker B: All.
[00:34:35] Speaker C: Y' all talk very well.
That was. That's a crazy backhand.
[00:34:47] Speaker A: You so beautiful.
Let me dust y'. All.
[00:34:53] Speaker B: It speaks to how impressed I am with you because like I say, there is this box that I feel like is placed, especially you guys as black males.
[00:35:02] Speaker C: Oh, for sure.
[00:35:02] Speaker B: You know, and to just really be okay with, like, no, I'm not just doing what is the expectation of me. I'm doing what feels good to me.
[00:35:10] Speaker C: 100.
[00:35:10] Speaker B: And even if that isn't necessarily something that I see too many of us doing. You're like, normalizing that. We do that too.
[00:35:17] Speaker C: Yeah, we do everything right. Yeah, we do everything. We do everything.
[00:35:21] Speaker A: So how better. How's that navigating that, though, what they say clock it.
[00:35:27] Speaker B: I can't remember.
[00:35:27] Speaker A: I think the finger, the middle finger was clocking.
[00:35:29] Speaker C: This was like, I just made myself look old as hell.
[00:35:34] Speaker A: No.
[00:35:35] Speaker B: For I do my daughter.
[00:35:36] Speaker A: Like, no, don't do that. We ruined it for the kids. Now they're gonna be like, it was on the podcast.
[00:35:40] Speaker B: Don't even do it, cuz.
[00:35:41] Speaker A: I'm serious.
[00:35:42] Speaker B: I had to Google what 67 was the other day.
[00:35:43] Speaker A: First of all, it doesn't mean anything.
[00:35:48] Speaker B: I was gonna fight this kid, cuz.
[00:35:49] Speaker C: Like, no Feel square, little homie.
[00:35:51] Speaker B: No, for real, for real. I did low key. Had to check myself cuz I was doing, like, this workshop with an organization, and I said something and he was like, really? He was like. I was like, well, it's gonna Take only a few minutes. He was like, like, how many minutes? Like, six, seven. And I was like, what?
Say it again.
[00:36:07] Speaker A: Like, say it again.
Tell your mommy you sleep not the same height. I hate it. My kids started doing that. He was like. He was like, oh, six, seven. And I was like, what? And now they got the hand motions. I'm like, y' all gangster?
[00:36:21] Speaker B: That's what he did. I was like, I really thought he was trying to clown me and fun these kids.
[00:36:25] Speaker C: And I was like, you ain't gonna do that to me.
[00:36:28] Speaker A: Let's go hunting, kid. Let's go hunting, kids.
[00:36:31] Speaker C: Got a special activity for you. But.
[00:36:32] Speaker A: But, dude. But no, seriously, like, how do you navigate being a quote unquote outsider? Like, how does that feel? Like, like, how do you do it?
[00:36:41] Speaker C: Like, everywhere?
[00:36:42] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:36:42] Speaker C: Because I felt like I was an outsider everywhere.
[00:36:44] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:36:44] Speaker C: Like, my whole life. And so I just been like, I don't give a. Like, especially when you accept it, you'd be like, oh, well.
[00:36:49] Speaker A: Yeah, right.
[00:36:50] Speaker C: Well, I guess just what I tell myself now. Like, I'm like, oh, well, it don't matter. Like, Like, I mean, I get offended when I go to places where they question why I'm there.
[00:36:57] Speaker B: And do you get that a lot?
[00:36:59] Speaker C: Oh, the fly shop, mountain biking stores.
Whoa. Bow shops. Like, all sorts of. Yeah.
[00:37:05] Speaker B: Yeah. And is it more of like that passive aggressive?
[00:37:07] Speaker C: Cuz I know that especially out here.
[00:37:09] Speaker B: They'Re so quick to, like, they're.
[00:37:11] Speaker C: They won't be like, what are you doing here?
So, can I help you? Yeah. Food.
[00:37:17] Speaker B: Did he know what that were?
[00:37:18] Speaker C: Yeah. Right.
And I'm like, bro.
[00:37:20] Speaker A: Yeah. Do you feel like people, like, even, like, within our own community, people question your knowledge of stuff? Because, like, why would you know this thing?
[00:37:28] Speaker C: Like, in. In the black community?
[00:37:30] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:37:32] Speaker C: Not really.
[00:37:33] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:37:33] Speaker C: Not really. I don't feel like. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:37:37] Speaker A: I just know that sometimes when it's.
[00:37:39] Speaker C: Like, especially because Portland is different. You know that's true.
[00:37:41] Speaker B: Like, Portland.
[00:37:42] Speaker C: Yeah. Like, you can go to a spot and it'd just be like a bunch of different kind of black people.
[00:37:46] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:37:47] Speaker C: Mostly transplants. And then you're like, yeah, I just be like, I'm not a cool kid.
[00:37:51] Speaker A: Kid.
[00:37:51] Speaker C: You know what I mean? Like, I know I'm not a cool kid. So I be like, it don't matter. Like, I just feel awkward here right now. Just be chilling in the corner, talking to people I know.
Yeah. I'mma just feel uncomfortable everywhere I go. So I might as well scooch on in here and drink this whiskey.
That's really it for me, like, like, I'm going feel uncomfortable everywhere, so I'm going be all right.
[00:38:11] Speaker B: Might as well be all right.
[00:38:12] Speaker A: That part. I listen. But, you know, we talked about code switching as far as, like, how we code switch for.
[00:38:18] Speaker C: For.
[00:38:18] Speaker A: For the white folks.
[00:38:19] Speaker C: Right.
[00:38:19] Speaker A: But then there's also like co switching within our community. Like, you know, we act different around different people. So do you have to find that.
[00:38:25] Speaker C: You do that a lot at all everywhere? But that's a northwest specific thing, I think.
[00:38:29] Speaker A: Oh, okay.
[00:38:29] Speaker C: Yeah, that's a. That's my. That's my. Not northwest. Yeah, yeah, northwest. I'll say northwest.
[00:38:34] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:38:35] Speaker C: Because like, we do.
It's like you can't. You don't see a lot of successful blackness.
[00:38:42] Speaker A: Right?
[00:38:43] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:38:43] Speaker C: So then you don't feel like you can be yourself and be successful. And so then when you're around white people, you have to, like, placate to them, like, make them feel good and make them feel like you're a good one, you know? Yeah, I'm not a threat. And so it's like you always have to figure out ways to fit it in every single room you go in. So it just becomes like the norm. Like at one point I remember, like, I was probably in my 20s, and I was like, man, I'm fucking tired.
I just want to just be me. And then I was like, nick, I don't even know who me is, bro. I'm flip flopping everywhere I go.
And the only time I feel like I'm myself is like, it's like when I'm really comfortable with people.
[00:39:19] Speaker A: Gotcha.
[00:39:20] Speaker C: Like, that's it. And so then it's like, I can finally, like, just be myself.
But then it's mad funny because then I'll have like, my black homies, and then I'll invite some white friends out, and then that I'd be like, I don't give a. You're just gonna see me now.
I'm not gonna go back and forth today. Yeah, you just getting me now. Welcome to the family.
[00:39:40] Speaker B: Right? Right about a suicide you never knew was there.
[00:39:44] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. So it do be a struggle, like, especially because, like, my girl's white and all of her friends, for the most part, were white. And we would go out with them, and I'd just be like, just trying to keep it together. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because now I'm trying to present for them, you know, and so just be trying to keep it together. And I'm like, damn, I'm exhausted. I just want to just let my voice go down.
[00:40:05] Speaker A: It's like trying to talk in his.
[00:40:08] Speaker C: High ass voice all the time.
[00:40:13] Speaker A: Can we hear it?
So you can't do. Unless there's somebody here, huh?
[00:40:16] Speaker C: Yeah, and it's immediate too, bro.
Get caught. Like I'll be talking to somebody and they'll be like, so. Yeah, that's crazy right?
[00:40:24] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:40:25] Speaker B: And isn't it funny how that automatically happens?
[00:40:28] Speaker C: You can't even control it.
[00:40:29] Speaker B: You know what I mean? You can't even swear. And that is what people have to understand. It is so automatic for us even like for instance, if you're like, like having a conversation with your friend and then you pick up business phone, right.
[00:40:39] Speaker C: It immediately when they talk about.
[00:40:41] Speaker A: They talk about black moms. And when, when they get on the.
[00:40:43] Speaker C: Call, they be like the white lady.
[00:40:45] Speaker A: Yes. So I just like to. You know, so I'm going to do.
[00:40:48] Speaker C: That my whole life and I never under.
[00:40:49] Speaker A: When they get that call from school. Exactly.
[00:40:51] Speaker C: Never understood. And I be like, why you talking about like a white lady? And then, then now I'm like, you understand? You should have prepared us for this.
[00:40:57] Speaker B: Yeah, it definitely makes sense.
[00:40:59] Speaker C: Right?
[00:40:59] Speaker B: And it's just, it's a. A survival mechanism that I think we've.
[00:41:04] Speaker C: Just grown accustomed right out here though. Because my dad, he don't have that.
Cuz he's from the DMV originally. He don't have that.
I be like, dad, you can't talk to people like that. And he be like, yeah, right, right, right.
People trying to pay you that, right?
[00:41:20] Speaker A: He's like, he's probably like, they still going to pay me too hell anyway.
[00:41:24] Speaker B: And the check better be good. Yeah.
[00:41:28] Speaker C: I'm like, damn, I guess you can.
I should have known back then watching him. But I didn't.
[00:41:33] Speaker B: But that is true because I've never seen my dad code switch.
[00:41:36] Speaker C: Yeah, it depends on where you from.
[00:41:37] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:41:38] Speaker C: And I realized that like I met folks from especially like Milwaukee, Chicago, and I was like, yo, this is crazy. Y' all are just. Y' all are just different. You just be like this. Because I. Cause I'm on set, right, right. And we're filming and I hey, yeah, yo, what's good, bro?
And so I'm like back and forth and they just talk like themselves everywhere.
[00:41:57] Speaker B: And I was like, you're like, you could do that.
[00:41:59] Speaker C: You just talk. You just. You ain't got no, you ain't got no white voice. Maybe like, oh no, what are you talking about?
[00:42:05] Speaker A: That's fact. So. Because you know, like, I Date at the country or at the state? At the country. At the state.
But no, but, like, I talk to a lot of people from, like, the east coast, the south, whatever. And it's funny because, like, if I be on the phone with them, I'm going to my office, and we share an office space, and there's white people that are in another part of the office, right? And I'll be talking. I'll be like, yeah, you know, but what's up? You know something. I'm walking.
[00:42:24] Speaker B: Hey, girl.
[00:42:25] Speaker A: How are you doing? Becky, Nice to see you. Oh, happy Monday.
I'm so. Yes. So, baby, what's up? And they'd be like, what the just happened? I'd be like. I was like, what you mean? I just walked in my office. They're like, it's the lady at the desk, right? But it's like. But it's funny because I only get the what the from people that are not from here, and I didn't even notice that until you said it.
[00:42:45] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't get the what the, but I get the like, oh, so you must be at work right now.
[00:42:49] Speaker A: You know what I'm saying?
[00:42:49] Speaker C: Like, immediately.
[00:42:50] Speaker B: Because we'll be on the phone, and it's the same thing. I'm like, yeah, Hi. Good morning.
[00:42:56] Speaker A: Listen, when she be doing my hair? Oh, my gosh. We be kiki and hot. I mean, and we, you know, if y' all see our reals, y' all know we cut up.
[00:43:04] Speaker B: And it does happen, but then the.
[00:43:06] Speaker A: Phone will ring, and she'll be like, son, son, hold on, girl. Hello, thank you for calling Shadow.
How can I help you? And then all a sudden be like, man, these.
[00:43:16] Speaker B: I wasted my good phone voice on scammer. Like, yeah, I be so mad yourself.
[00:43:24] Speaker A: I be dying. I be like, sitting like, oh, and I'm the worst person to have around, too, when you trying to.
[00:43:29] Speaker B: No, cuz she doesn't help.
[00:43:30] Speaker A: I don't.
[00:43:31] Speaker B: She's like a horrible.
[00:43:32] Speaker A: Yeah, don't. Don't ever have me on Bluetooth while you ordering at. At the drive thru. I'm the worst.
[00:43:37] Speaker C: See, it also be funny, too, because I'm like, you when you talking to somebody and then you recognize, oh, oh, you black, yo.
[00:43:44] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:43:45] Speaker A: Cuz, I be like, where you from? And then your voice. And I'm like, oh, voice will start changing. You be like, like, okay, cool. What's up, though?
[00:43:51] Speaker B: That literally with Xfinity, I called and I was ready to go off, and then her name was Deja. I said, oh, what how you doing, girl?
[00:43:59] Speaker A: Right, right, right, sis. Like, I'm all right now.
And you can tell, too, because you don't even got to say their names sometimes. It should be like, the. The tone of their voice.
[00:44:10] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah.
[00:44:11] Speaker A: Are you really? Be like. Because I was talking to somebody. I was trying to book something for some students, and the guy answered the phone, and I was doing my little thing. And at first I was like. Because it's like a. It was like an indoor skydiving thing. So I'm thinking like, okay, you know? And then the guy said something. I said, hold on. I said, where you from? He said, oh, I'm from Ohio. Like, Cincinnati. And I was like, oh, I could tell you not from here. And I was like. He was like. He was like, yeah. And I was like, so what time you take lunch? No, I'm just kidding. But it was like. But you can tell. He never said his name or nothing, but I could tell.
[00:44:38] Speaker B: You can do.
[00:44:38] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:44:39] Speaker B: I'm Facebook friends with the person who helped me with Apple Care, like, a few years ago. We were on the phone for so long. Yeah. Shout out to Anthony.
[00:44:48] Speaker A: Anthony.
[00:44:49] Speaker B: Thank you, Anthony.
[00:44:50] Speaker A: Listen.
[00:44:50] Speaker B: You know, like, we really.
[00:44:52] Speaker A: Black customer service will add you on Facebook so quick. Once they realize, they be like, you cool. What's your name on Facebook?
[00:44:57] Speaker B: We were on the phone with each other for hours. I was like, you're family now. Like, at this point, we have to be connected. I need to see, like, how the kids are doing, like, refreshment.
[00:45:05] Speaker C: I'm sending an invite to the family.
She really know his life.
[00:45:11] Speaker B: No, I swear.
[00:45:11] Speaker A: That is hilarious.
I can't even. That is so true, though. We'd be quick to be making friends on the customer service calls, and then we'd be quick to be like, what's your direct number? Because when I call back, I want to talk to you.
That's not how that works. I'm like, okay, cool. I'm just calling.
[00:45:29] Speaker C: Is Anthony in there?
[00:45:30] Speaker A: Right?
[00:45:31] Speaker B: What's your shift?
Right.
[00:45:36] Speaker A: Yo, that is hilarious. Okay, so we've talked about the hunting. We talked about your filmmaking. Let's talk about how you get in front of the camera, though, Mr. Model Actor Man.
[00:45:45] Speaker B: How you just suddenly, like, Right?
[00:45:46] Speaker A: He was like, yeah, you know, I'm a model. I do billboards.
[00:45:49] Speaker C: That was. That was just to give context about me not liking being in front of the camera. That's all it was. That's all it was. Not. Actually, you know what happened? Because I was. I used to climb, like, rock climb, rock climb, rock climb. That was my first intro to the outdoor space.
And so I used to write about it, like, because I would write for Melon and base camp, and I'd be like, it's like a black journal type of thing. And I was like, I just realized I was always the only black person out there. Like, most of the time, the only person of color. So then I just start writing about my experience, about being in the outdoors and. Which is crazy because my. Like, my. My brother Adam, he and my brother. He's my brother. Yeah, he used to write for the same people that I used to write for. So then when we met, I was like, bro, I know you from somewhere.
[00:46:28] Speaker A: That's wild.
[00:46:29] Speaker C: I know. From online.
And so then rock climbing, and then. What was the question you asked me?
[00:46:35] Speaker A: I done forgot.
[00:46:38] Speaker C: So I was rock climbing a bunch, and I was. I started to get.
I started. I was, like, on the verge of being, like, an Instagram influencer.
[00:46:48] Speaker A: With your shirt off, wasn't you?
[00:46:49] Speaker C: No, no, no. I wear. I wear shirtless swim.
It's modest.
Look. Why? This is how.
[00:47:03] Speaker A: These are my tools.
Chip away at this.
Sorry.
[00:47:12] Speaker C: Now you're good.
[00:47:13] Speaker B: You good.
[00:47:13] Speaker A: Instagram content.
[00:47:14] Speaker C: Yeah, I was. I was. I was on, like, my little influencer stage of life, and somebody reached out to me and was like, yo, I want to film you for this marmot shoot. And I was like, scammers everywhere.
Sort of. God, I thought it was a scammer. And I had to, like, check with people. And they were like, oh, yeah, no, it's real. And I'm like, okay, bet. So I responded.
Flew out to, like, Bishop, California.
Yeah, yeah. It was kind of crazy. It was like. Especially for my first shoot. Like, that was crazy.
[00:47:40] Speaker B: Crazy, right?
[00:47:41] Speaker C: And then I started doing, like, e commerce stuff locally. This. I, like, super nice to this producer. She was like, oh, we're looking for somebody to model for us for this shoe shoot. And I was like, I mean, my girlfriend at the time, they didn't have her on the shoe, but they had me on it.
[00:47:56] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:47:57] Speaker C: And I was like, bet. Cool. I'm down. Did it. Then I just. They kept booking me for. And then one day I was in the studio, and they're like, why aren't you with Option? And I was like, I'm not a model, bro.
You get booked, like, right, Right, Yeah. And I was like, that's crazy. And they're like, yeah, you should do that. And I go in.
They were like.
And I'm like, I'm not. I'm like, what I say is, I'm Normal people attractive. Like, okay, I'm normal people attractive. And I'm like, I'm okay with that. Right, right. I'm not a model. I'm normal people attractive.
[00:48:29] Speaker A: Right.
[00:48:29] Speaker B: Got you.
[00:48:30] Speaker C: And then I went in, they were like, take my pictures or whatever. And I was like, okay, they're not gonna, they not bringing me on. And as I'm walking out the door, I was like literally checking my phone. I got an email to go to Croatia for a job modeling for rei.
[00:48:44] Speaker A: And then we talk about.
[00:48:45] Speaker C: It was kind of crazy.
[00:48:46] Speaker A: I'm thinking like Fred Meyer ads and shit.
[00:48:48] Speaker C: I am in the Fred Meyer ad. You can find me in the Fred Meyer all the time. Carhartt. I'm Carhartt guy Carhartt area. Like, I'm the like burly black dude.
[00:48:59] Speaker A: Okay, so what happened in Croatia though?
[00:49:01] Speaker C: Because it was for REI and we did a whole shoot and I was out there for like, like a week.
[00:49:05] Speaker A: And a half, yo.
[00:49:07] Speaker C: And I like, was like, hey, do I need to go through you guys for this or is it right My own. And they were like, we'll send you the paperwork after that. And then I was just modeling.
[00:49:16] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:49:16] Speaker C: Like, I did a. A Ciroc ad. That shit was crazy. Got paid 20.
[00:49:21] Speaker A: I was gonna say, was it at a party? Was it.
[00:49:23] Speaker C: We could talk about that off camera.
[00:49:26] Speaker A: He signed an NDA, right?
[00:49:28] Speaker B: Right.
[00:49:31] Speaker C: Talk about that off camera.
[00:49:33] Speaker A: The way he's so dry laughing right now is like, okay, don't come for us.
[00:49:38] Speaker C: I didn't. I was not at no diddy parties.
I never met the. That man. I've never been to nowhere around him.
[00:49:44] Speaker B: Good job.
[00:49:45] Speaker A: Yeah, good job.
[00:49:48] Speaker C: That's the truth.
[00:49:49] Speaker A: He said he went to Croatia. He was on the island.
[00:49:51] Speaker C: So right now that was a crazy shoot though. We was like riding catamarans and oh, wow. It was crazy. That was a crazy experience. Yeah.
[00:49:59] Speaker A: Yeah, that's dope. Like, you get to combine like your love for outdoors with modeling and traveling.
[00:50:03] Speaker C: So it's just like my whole life gets to just be like, like, I think it was just like I. I tell people I'm like, commit to a thing. Like if you like some go in on it, like, there's no point. When I picked filmmaking, I was like, I would rather be homeless than and pursue this than to never pursue it. Because I'd hate to like live a full ass life and then look at my life and be like, damn, I ain't do.
[00:50:24] Speaker B: I think that's why a lot of old people are mean to.
[00:50:26] Speaker C: For real.
[00:50:27] Speaker B: Like, for Real?
[00:50:28] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:50:29] Speaker B: Because they don't do for themselves.
[00:50:30] Speaker C: They don't live and then they go to die.
Yeah.
[00:50:34] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:50:35] Speaker C: So I just. And I had a friend that died when I was like, right when we were graduating college.
[00:50:39] Speaker B: Oh, whoa.
[00:50:40] Speaker C: Out of nowhere, unexpected. And that shit kind of like, really, really changed my life. Like that. That was like, I think like the moment where I was like, okay, we gotta like, get some shit together. And then I just kind of used it to motivate me through life where I'm like, you don't know when it's true.
[00:50:52] Speaker A: I love that. I know. Cause my bonus dad, he was like the kind of person that worked every shift, double shifts, seven days a week, like 80 hours a pay period, like in a one week pay period, that kind of a thing. And it was because he was really setting himself up for a great retirement. And he was active, healthy, all the things, like he skied, he did all the things, retired, turned 65, was in Mexico two years later, passed away. And because it was within a certain time frame, like the pensions and all that stuff kind of went away. And it was like, damn, you lived your entire life for this moment and it got snatched. And it was like, I really thought about that. I was like, damn, you really gotta like. I know we plan and we live, you know, to.
[00:51:27] Speaker B: Right.
[00:51:28] Speaker C: You know, plan to live, whatever. Yeah, but.
[00:51:30] Speaker B: But you also today, I just keep saying, like, if.
[00:51:33] Speaker C: If I die today, did I do at least try to do this that I want to do, Right.
[00:51:38] Speaker B: Would I be happy?
[00:51:39] Speaker C: That's it. And that's it. And if I can. If I can be okay with that, then I'm Gucci, like, all right. I don't need much more.
[00:51:45] Speaker B: Right?
[00:51:46] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:51:46] Speaker A: I love that.
[00:51:47] Speaker C: That's how I try to live. That's how I try to live. At least I ain't gonna say it's like that all the time. Sometimes I get a little caught up in other. And I just.
[00:51:52] Speaker B: I mean, that's, that's.
I was lying about this. Lying. If you wasn't saying like any. Anything else. I'm like, now look here, okay. I'm all for the good.
[00:52:01] Speaker C: Right, Right, right, right, right.
[00:52:02] Speaker B: He's like, you know, I'm all about the pursuit of happiness, all this.
[00:52:08] Speaker C: I mean, we get there real balance. It's balance. It is, it is. And I'm trying to learn that. Like, I feel like sometimes I get caught up in just working all the time, and sometimes I get caught up in not working enough.
[00:52:18] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:52:18] Speaker C: And so I'm like, how do I do and how do I do enough of everything? Like, how do I still go see my friends? How do I go play the way I want to play? How do I work, work in the way that I want to work? Like, we control all of this. That's the crazy part is like people really don't understand that. It's like you, you. We all design our own lives, right?
[00:52:33] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:52:33] Speaker C: It's just some people choose to not be in control of it and let somebody else design it.
[00:52:37] Speaker A: That's fair. Yeah, that's fair.
[00:52:38] Speaker B: That is really true.
[00:52:39] Speaker A: Yeah, it is. I know.
So, like, it sounds like a lot of like what you do in your hobbies are like things that other people do for self care, but because you integrate your hobbies and your passions into your work as well, are there other elements of self care that you do for yourself?
[00:52:53] Speaker C: That's the. I'm working on.
[00:52:55] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:52:55] Speaker C: Yeah.
Right.
I'm working on that. I had a.
So I used to do a lot of work for Fujifilm. Now I'll do like their camera launches, make the films around their camera launches. And became really good friends with one of the guys that was really, really high up there.
[00:53:13] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:53:14] Speaker C: And he, he's like the, the VP of North America.
[00:53:18] Speaker A: Oh, nice.
[00:53:18] Speaker C: And he was like, he sat down with me one day and was like, you can't keep doing that. Oh, you can't turn everything you love into work.
Right? And I'm like, but you do that like your whole life is working. He's like, I'm telling. Yeah. I was like, nah, I wasn't hearing it at first. And I was like, man, he might be right, actually. Like, I'm, I'm like turning the I love to do into work.
[00:53:39] Speaker B: And you go, you're so intense. Yeah, you do it.
[00:53:41] Speaker C: And so now it's just all work. And I, I'm like, you gotta chill the out. Like, do some for you. Like, right. You ain't gotta. You ain't got to turn everything into a film. You don't got to turn everything into work. And so I've been trying to do that. I did.
[00:53:51] Speaker B: I like, do you battle with that though? Because I feel like there's like this guilt that we have when we aren't.
[00:53:57] Speaker C: Like, you can't sit down.
[00:53:58] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yes.
[00:54:00] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was, I like. And I don't have good self talk.
[00:54:05] Speaker B: I was gonna ask, are you nice to yourself?
[00:54:07] Speaker C: I'm not nice to myself and I'm working on that. I literally just got done talking with somebody about that was like, I need to work on that. But it works for me is the thing. Like, if I'm like, oh, quit being a. Get your ass up.
[00:54:18] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:54:18] Speaker C: I'm like, you a little bitch.
[00:54:22] Speaker B: Myself, that's my biggest motivation. Like, most of my biggest moves have happened from, like, being mad.
[00:54:27] Speaker C: I want somebody to doubt me, right? Like, I don't need cheerleaders because I'm like, my dad, I grew up and he was like, you ain't gonna be. And I'm like, bet every single thing. And I'm like. And now he'd be like, like, d, I'm proud of you. I'm like, shut the hell up now.
[00:54:44] Speaker B: But if even like, what is the guy that just boxed Gervonte?
[00:54:48] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. And his mom.
[00:54:50] Speaker B: Okay, now look, his mom was a little extreme.
[00:54:52] Speaker C: His mom was like, my dad, though everything I love beat his ass. I was like, damn, I was paying everybody. Ain't nobody beat his ass.
[00:55:00] Speaker B: She was like, you ain't going to be she. And she sat there and just smiled. She's like, I created a beautiful. So I get what they're trying to do, especially that generation.
[00:55:07] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:55:08] Speaker B: I totally get it. Like, for the longest, I think I resented my mom even because she had a hard time telling us that, like, good job.
[00:55:15] Speaker A: Or like, I'm proud of you or whatever.
[00:55:17] Speaker B: But I understand what she was doing.
[00:55:18] Speaker C: Yeah.
Yeah. It took some work and some. Some sad nights and a whole lot.
[00:55:23] Speaker A: Of bottles of wine.
No, that's serious. They tell you because, like, they're like, your kids are going to realize it when they're older. And I said, so I gotta live for 20 plus years with them resenting me and hating me before they get it. I'm like that.
[00:55:36] Speaker B: And I would just say firsthand, as a mother with adult kids, be okay with being hated. Like my kids, like, for real, my. I get it now. Like, for the longest, I felt really bad because I knew I was doing what was necessary. I did what was necessary.
[00:55:49] Speaker C: Right.
[00:55:50] Speaker B: It is never your job, like, their. Their goal to us up.
[00:55:53] Speaker A: You know what I mean?
[00:55:53] Speaker B: That was never the intent.
[00:55:55] Speaker A: And no matter what you do, you're gonna fuck them up.
[00:55:56] Speaker C: You're gonna fuck them up, right?
[00:55:57] Speaker A: No matter what.
[00:55:57] Speaker C: So I might as well fuck them up. Right?
I feel that. I'm like, ain't gonna be no bum.
[00:56:03] Speaker B: Exactly. For real.
[00:56:05] Speaker C: You could be mad at me in your mansion.
[00:56:07] Speaker A: That part with my in laws. Sweet in the bag. You know what I'm saying? Listen. Exactly.
[00:56:12] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:56:13] Speaker A: Okay. So we've been working for three seasons together. I want to know what are some of your favorite Dirty Roses moments, man.
[00:56:18] Speaker C: I think one of my favorite moments. I still laugh about that shit. When old girl is just gobbling the fruit out of the glass.
I was rolling.
[00:56:30] Speaker A: This is such an ironic moment. Okay.
[00:56:32] Speaker C: I don't even know if that got in the ep.
[00:56:34] Speaker A: It did, because we. Okay, so she was tapping. Okay, so here's the thing, okay? And I gotta be serious a little bit. Cause it was a DV episode.
[00:56:40] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah.
[00:56:40] Speaker A: And we were talking about DV survivors, and I think she was nervous. And so there was a point where, like, we have drinks and everything, Obviously, we have a bar and stuff like that. So she was like, I'm nervous. I was like, oh, you know, have a drink, whatever. So she made a drink, and we put fruit in it. And so by the end of the episode, like, we've been talking about all this deep, serious shit. And I'm talking about, like, the other person on the show was, like, talking about a story. And she's telling, like, you know, the. These really deep things.
And she's sitting next to Nick B. And Nick B. Can't be serious at all. So the girl's telling the story.
Listen, she's telling the story. She's like, you know, I really had to save myself and my children, really. And Nick goes over, and she was like, that fruit must be hitting that girl had the cut tip. She's tapping it, trying to get.
And it was like. She was like, girl, this good. This good. And we were like, so if you are too struggling with domestic violence, please call this note.
[00:57:30] Speaker C: Call this note, right? Everybody like, what the hell?
[00:57:32] Speaker A: And then by the end, she was. We were like, how are you getting home? And she's like, oh, don't worry, My husband's coming to get me. We're like, good. Oh, good.
It was so funny. I mean, and it was a good episode. Like, they had some really good information.
[00:57:44] Speaker B: I just didn't catch the.
[00:57:45] Speaker C: No, because you have to be looking for it. But that joint, that was.
I was like, yo, you forget you got. We had you. It's cameras right there.
She did not care.
She's loving it.
[00:57:59] Speaker A: Oh, God. What was. What was like, the. The moment where you were like, I can't believe someone just said that.
[00:58:07] Speaker B: Probably the other day when we were.
[00:58:08] Speaker A: Talking about smoking crack, there was dad.
[00:58:12] Speaker B: He is not okay.
[00:58:13] Speaker A: I was like, uhhuh. See?
[00:58:16] Speaker B: Like, what just happened?
[00:58:17] Speaker C: The crack conversation. Like, hey. And they kept. Y' all kept.
[00:58:20] Speaker B: We kept going, yo.
[00:58:21] Speaker A: I kept trying to be like, okay, so thanks for Coming out. So crack.
[00:58:24] Speaker C: So crack.
[00:58:25] Speaker B: Crack.
[00:58:26] Speaker C: Crackheads.
[00:58:26] Speaker B: I'm like, let it go.
[00:58:31] Speaker C: Nah. You see a crackhead, they be helping in there. I was like.
[00:58:37] Speaker B: Crackhead and like the people who are like, leaned over, like, unfit and stuff.
[00:58:41] Speaker C: It makes me mad, though, because I'd be like, you see these videos? People just drinking their whole lives, right? Fine. And I'm like, bro, how does somebody who take care of themselves get cancer then?
[00:58:50] Speaker B: Isn't that crazy?
[00:58:51] Speaker A: That part, that part.
There's no crack.
[00:58:54] Speaker C: I don't know, but y' all have me thinking.
[00:58:58] Speaker A: I'm just saying, y' all didn't see a crackhead with. No. They was at the park regularly.
[00:59:01] Speaker B: They never had problems. I'm sorry. I told you, I am 100 and I. I have a whole case study. I will show you.
[00:59:07] Speaker A: I thought you would say you had a whole case of cracks.
[00:59:10] Speaker B: I left at night.
[00:59:11] Speaker C: I left at night. I went and got me a whole bunch of cracks that.
[00:59:16] Speaker B: No, I really do have a case study. Like I said, he had. He's had cancer since I was like 14, still about to be 45.
[00:59:22] Speaker C: It's crazy.
[00:59:23] Speaker B: See what I'm saying?
[00:59:23] Speaker C: It is crazy. Like the drugs, they. They do preserve people.
[00:59:26] Speaker B: It's a preservative. I don't know if it's like the combination of like the ammonia and like the. I don't know.
[00:59:32] Speaker C: Cuz it's ammonia in that drink. You know what I'm saying?
[00:59:34] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah.
[00:59:34] Speaker C: And when you. You think about, like how they preserve bodies.
Go ahead.
[00:59:42] Speaker A: Baking soda, Pyrex, Flick of the wrist.
[00:59:47] Speaker B: Right, right.
Open flame. You gotta have open flame.
[00:59:51] Speaker A: Don't wear clothes.
[00:59:53] Speaker C: Yeah, you can't have no clothes on. I think they didn't wear clothes, though. That was more about just not people stealing their. It was theft.
[00:59:59] Speaker B: Because I know whenever I do get my warehouse. I did say that. I was like, I don't. They have.
[01:00:03] Speaker A: You want people working naked in your warehouse.
[01:00:05] Speaker B: They're gonna be mixing up shampoo and conditioner and bucket naked. Because I don't need them to have no room to write nothing down or anything.
[01:00:12] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
[01:00:13] Speaker B: I feel like, like, that's fair.
[01:00:14] Speaker A: I just. I struggle with that, that visual because your products are white and creamy. So I just.
[01:00:20] Speaker C: That's a crazy sentence. First of all, white and creamy.
[01:00:24] Speaker A: Like, I'm just saying, you know what?
[01:00:26] Speaker B: I was like, I could. You know what?
[01:00:28] Speaker A: No, no, no, no. Like, going back, we could, like, do some vlogging.
[01:00:33] Speaker B: Like, vlog it a little bit. And that way, like, we could have an. Only fans and also a whole production.
[01:00:39] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, Double down on it. I see you. I see you. I see you.
[01:00:43] Speaker A: Actually, he going to stir that.
[01:00:46] Speaker C: You just put the. You just put cameras in the corners.
[01:00:48] Speaker B: Yep, exactly. Dance break.
[01:00:51] Speaker A: It's going. It's going to be like the cameras are a Figueroa. It's going to be right, right over my Lonnie.
[01:00:58] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah.
[01:01:01] Speaker A: Oh my God.
[01:01:01] Speaker B: I think it's a good idea.
[01:01:02] Speaker C: I love call you the cream queen.
I got you.
[01:01:07] Speaker A: Look, he a videographer. So he got you. He gonna make it look real cinematic and stuff.
[01:01:11] Speaker B: Exactly.
[01:01:12] Speaker A: It's gonna be like a couple of pans, you know, some fishbowl shots. You know what I'm saying? Like some real Spike Lee.
Exactly.
[01:01:19] Speaker B: We could even have the moving sidewalk situation.
[01:01:21] Speaker C: Right?
[01:01:23] Speaker A: I like it, I like it. We didn't gave some good ideas about things that we're gonna be doing film wise.
[01:01:28] Speaker B: I feel like.
[01:01:29] Speaker A: I love it. I love it.
Speaking of cracking hair products, sis, what you got over there?
[01:01:35] Speaker B: Well, while we were talking about vibrators. Finding vibrators and things.
[01:01:39] Speaker A: Things.
[01:01:39] Speaker B: This is interesting. Interestingly enough, I have a hair vibrator.
[01:01:44] Speaker C: That's crazy.
[01:01:45] Speaker B: It's literally a hair vibrator. Like for real. It is a. It's a scalp massager and it actually even you can nebulize the oil. You put your oil, your essential oils in here and then you push this button and it would like do like a mist. So that way you can be able to really like listen.
[01:02:06] Speaker A: And if you are a client, you get this full treatment and it feels so amazing.
[01:02:10] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. So, you know, it's pretty orgasmic, I will have to say. But this is.
[01:02:14] Speaker C: She done tested it, so.
[01:02:15] Speaker B: I've definitely tested it. Yeah. No, and. And my clients, it's crazy too because it can really turn into like a bdsm.
[01:02:20] Speaker A: I don't know if they saw on the camera because you're behind the thing.
[01:02:23] Speaker B: Oh, got you. Yeah. So my clients, they, you know, like, they also wear eye masks. You know, they have the eye mask. So when I turn this on, they're like.
[01:02:36] Speaker A: Listen.
[01:02:39] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:02:39] Speaker A: You see how we be talking, right? Like how we talk?
[01:02:41] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:02:41] Speaker A: She put that eye mask on and she'd be like, yeah, so girls. And the fingers start. I'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:02:46] Speaker B: She be salad.
[01:02:47] Speaker A: She stops. And then I'm like, okay, so, yeah, so about that.
[01:02:51] Speaker C: Go get my. Go get my fresh draws.
[01:02:53] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. Get my fresh draw cigarette.
Anybody else feel like taking a nap? Yeah, for real. I'm serious. That's what I do. And then I'll, you know, take the mask off. But, you know, I'm all about pampering. And I, you know, I think that especially whenever it comes to my products and when it comes to the tools that I use, I want to have an extension of what they would receive in the salon. So even if you don't have the accessibility of like coming to see me, you can definitely give yourself that same type of treatment. You know, it's the same thing. Like, we have to learn how to be nice to ourselves. And so I feel like I'm doing my part in providing the products that encourages them to be good to themselves.
[01:03:32] Speaker A: So in other words, you can buy this product on her website, Right? That was what the point was. Yeah.
[01:03:37] Speaker C: Can I ask a question?
So do you do this like how I said I make my films for like a part of like my own self healing journey?
[01:03:43] Speaker B: Yes.
[01:03:43] Speaker C: Is this kind of yourself?
[01:03:44] Speaker B: 100%.
[01:03:45] Speaker C: Okay.
[01:03:45] Speaker A: Okay.
[01:03:46] Speaker B: 100%. Yeah. Like, my first product that I ever created was actually for my son's skin. So my youngest is on the autism spectrum. So as I learned more about like how there's so many products that are like hormone disruptors and just, you know, not only that, but autism is very sensory. So he was very hypersensitive to like how things felt on his skin. But he also had extremely dry skin. So I was like paranoid of everything that was available.
And then I created it for him and then realized like, oh, this works like hella good for hair. And then just kind of like led more into it because I feel like the mistake that we make is when we learn more about stuff. Now all of a sudden, like, the.
[01:04:22] Speaker C: Whole world is jacked up.
[01:04:23] Speaker B: Yeah, the whole world is jacked up. So now suddenly I was like paranoid of everything. So I'm like, I can't use this shampoo on my clients. Like, this has all type of, you know, preservatives and different type of thiolates.
[01:04:34] Speaker A: Like it's got crack, not the good crack.
[01:04:36] Speaker B: You know what I'm saying? Like not even a good preservative crack. So, yeah, so that's really like what happened. It was like it. I like to nurture people and take care of people. Like my grandmother, she was an entrepreneur. She was the only other entrepreneur in my family and she was a restaurateur. So that was how she nurtured people and took care of them. I can cook, but I don't prefer, like to cook for other people. So this was my way of feeling like I took care of people.
[01:05:02] Speaker A: You know, I love it.
[01:05:03] Speaker B: So.
[01:05:03] Speaker A: Yeah, I love it. Well, Mr. Kenny X Hamlet, how can they find you, sir?
[01:05:09] Speaker C: It's better days west on everything that's better days. Plural days. So there's an S at the end of that west.
Yeah. And that's betterdayswest.com youm can see my work. We've got some pretty cool projects on there, some little slight stunts to show off the work we do.
[01:05:23] Speaker A: So I like it. I like it. And Ms. Shadowbox, where can they find you and all your products and all my things?
[01:05:30] Speaker B: You can find me on Instagram Milani by shadowbox. You can find me on Facebook. Milani vegan hair care. You can check me out. CharlieSashadowboxHairist, where I typically will share a lot of my antics. And I try to be inspirational a lot of the times.
[01:05:42] Speaker A: I.
[01:05:43] Speaker B: You can definitely find your hair vibrators and
[email protected] and then you can use.
[01:05:50] Speaker A: The code Lee to get, like an extra discount, you know, courtesy of your girl. Okay, so order all the products that we've been featuring this season. I'm saying you can catch the normal co host Nick B And follow her journey to health and wellness.
Nickbnick B. And that's Nick with the kids. And of course, you can find me Lila Ree L E I G H L a R I e on every single platform. Dirty roses podcast again, on every single platform. Or dirtyrosespodcast.com like subscribe, follow, leave a review. You can even send us a letter@dirtyrosesletters gmail.com and all the good things. Make sure you tell a friend to tell a friend. Tell a friend and watch all the old episodes, okay? Because we need our numbers. We will catch y' all next time. Thanks. Guess what, Rose buddy, We are thrilled.
[01:06:35] Speaker B: To introduce our new sponsorship packages.
[01:06:38] Speaker A: Be sure to hit us
[email protected] to inquire how we can showcase your brand on our platform.
