[00:00:00] Speaker A: I'm Lila Rie. And I'm Nick B. Listen, we're just two single girls from the city of roses discussing all things love, lust and perception. And roses are a symbol of all things beautiful about love. But as you know, love can get a little dirty. So we're here to talk about it. Dirty Roses podcast starts now.
Hey, I'm Lilaree and welcome to Dirty Roses Podcast. Now, I know we've talked about this all season so far, and as you notice, my co host is not here. But that's because we've been focusing on health and taking care of ourselves and doing, like, what's best for us and our future selves. And so Nick B. Is currently taking care of herself. She's doing her gastric bypass revision, and she's been sharing her journey on social media to talk about how she got there, what she's doing to make sure she. She keeps herself active and doing her best.
All the best things for herself. By the time that this airs, your girl's gonna be outside, so we can't wait to see it. But make sure you follow her so you can see what she's doing on her journey. And you will see a guest post every now and then. But today I'm being joined by two amazing individuals who. One is very familiar, y', all. Y' all should know him. He's been on the show before. And I actually probably wear his clothes at least twice a season. So you should know who it is by just that announcement alone. But I am being joined by the amazing, the astounding couple, Ms. Keela Jones and David Jefferson.
[00:01:20] Speaker B: Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop.
[00:01:22] Speaker A: Okay, but as you know, David Jefferson, CEO, founder of Stacking Kicks, was on season one, but he's been doing some amazing things since then. Definition of success, he's got. He's been doing some mentoring, you've been doing some speaking engagements, you've been going to the prisons, you've been going to the schools, you've been doing pop ups, you've been doing adult mentorship around relationships and business. So all the things that he's been doing, we've got Ms. Keela Jones. Say my name in cursive, which you can see here on the table here. Yo, y', all, check this out, because it's bomb. It smells good. This is a cucumber melon, strawberry scent, fire, okay? But also unlock with key. But then together they have done this new thing that I'm so excited to talk about today. It is called Returning Black to Love. And we're Gonna dive into that, but we're gonna catch up first. So how are you' all doing?
[00:02:11] Speaker C: First? Good.
[00:02:12] Speaker A: Thank you so much for being here.
[00:02:14] Speaker B: We honored.
[00:02:15] Speaker A: Yes. David, season one dating the entrepreneur.
You was very single.
It was very anti. I got no time for nobody. But, you know, elevating myself.
[00:02:27] Speaker B: I said all that.
[00:02:29] Speaker A: You might have said a few things. You might have said a few things that you was stunting on too. You know, five star hotels, long walks, on the beach, trips. That's how I date. Has that, has it been the case?
Well, she looked at him like, that.
[00:02:41] Speaker B: Was a few years ago. Yeah, we've been to the beach.
That was a few years ago. We building purpose. I was a different man.
[00:02:47] Speaker A: Okay, But I do want to ask you, like the David Jefferson from our season one when you were single, talking about entrepreneurship and how you view dating, how is that different from David Jefferson now in a super healthy and amazing relationship, what have your views have changed or stay the same?
[00:03:06] Speaker B: Yeah, I can say they changed a lot. You know, ultimately, I mean, they, they, you know, I got wiser for sure. Right.
But I, I haven't changed in a while when it comes to just my ideologies of self, of relationships.
And so I think back then it was just a matter of, you know, making sure that I was in the space of preparation. Right. You know, that I was, you know, that I'd done the work and that I was willing to stay open minded. What I like to say, riding the fence. Right, right. You know, protecting myself from, you know, from further pain, but also making sure I'm simultaneously open to extraordinarily good circumstances. So that's a balance that most people don't have. So, you know, that's, it hasn't really changed a lot, you know, but I have grown a lot, you know, and I think my values probably, probably changed a little bit since then though, for sure. You know, I know my spirituality got stronger.
[00:04:05] Speaker A: Nice.
[00:04:06] Speaker B: You know, I know my sense of self got strong, stronger. I know my boundaries got way stronger, you know, because you just, you know, you gotta have a certain level of intention with how you move as an entrepreneur in a relationship space. Especially when so many people are, you know, trying to get your attention and you don't really know what they want.
[00:04:25] Speaker A: Right.
[00:04:25] Speaker B: And most of the time they don't know what they want, you know, so you gotta have something to block, you know, to block you out from that, you know, and if you don't, you know, you might get pulled in the.
[00:04:33] Speaker A: Twilight Zone or something and drown Dayton around this Area is definitely like the Twilight Zone. I can say that for sure.
What has anything for you that was like a fundamental of how you dated? What was something that maybe shifted for you since then?
[00:04:53] Speaker B: I think the main thing I know for sure shifted was, I think, true spirituality.
If anybody knows me, I'm very spiritual.
I'm always guided by energy, universe, law of attraction, God.
But I haven't.
I didn't always expect that in a partner, though. I expected of myself and thought that I can do it myself and be the only one in a relationship that's on a spiritual level, and it should be fine.
And so I realized that, oh, no, it don't work like that. Both of y' all gotta be spiritually inclined. And I didn't realize. I thought I could handle it. I'm like, yeah, she could be crazy. You know what I'm saying? Like, I can fix this.
[00:05:35] Speaker A: Right? Right.
[00:05:36] Speaker B: It don't work that way.
[00:05:37] Speaker A: Right.
[00:05:37] Speaker B: You know what I'm saying? Fix stuff that's broke, and then sometimes you end up broken.
[00:05:41] Speaker C: Right.
[00:05:41] Speaker A: What they say to.
If you gonna be a crackhead, you gotta date another crackhead because you can't date a sober person, Right? Yep. Because that sober person gonna be like, right. Or they're gonna backslide, whatever.
But. Okay, so, Keela, for you, what was dating like before you met David?
[00:05:57] Speaker C: I hadn't dated in a long time.
[00:05:59] Speaker A: Oh, okay.
[00:05:59] Speaker C: So I think it had been maybe eight years. Wow.
[00:06:02] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:06:02] Speaker C: And so I spent a lot of time working on myself.
[00:06:05] Speaker A: Gotcha.
[00:06:05] Speaker C: Trying to figure out why I was attracting the people that I was attracting. So. And just spending time with me, I just wanted to know me more.
[00:06:12] Speaker A: Got you. Okay, so you say that. So that's a big deal. Because people don't understand or take accountability for the fact that you're attracting because of who you are and how you haven't healed a certain aspects of your life. So what was that like for you, as far as healing parts of you that may have been attracting the wrong kind of person?
[00:06:29] Speaker C: Some of it was hard to see, I think, to look at and say, okay, here's where I was being too open, or here's what was wrong with me.
[00:06:39] Speaker A: Right.
[00:06:39] Speaker C: You know, and so it wasn't a lot. Okay. But there was a. The wounds were really deep.
[00:06:43] Speaker A: Gotcha.
[00:06:44] Speaker C: You know, and so. I don't know. It was. It was a really.
The journey was so long. I spent a lot of time with myself.
[00:06:52] Speaker A: So what was some of that healing like? What was that? What was that like dating yourself and working on you?
[00:06:57] Speaker C: What Was that looking like, so dating myself? I loved it.
[00:06:59] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:07:00] Speaker C: You know, I was doing what I wanted to do, going where I want to go, you know, if I need male companionship, you know, I had a lot of good males around me, whether they were friends, family, or whoever. So you get the masculine energy, so you get that out your system. Right, Right. So you don't have this need to date.
[00:07:16] Speaker A: Right.
[00:07:16] Speaker C: You know? Right. So I just spent a lot of time reading, praying, studying different things, and then just doing stuff that I liked.
[00:07:23] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:07:23] Speaker C: God was directing me. Do things that you like, you know, and just spend time with you.
[00:07:28] Speaker A: I love that. It sounds like both of y' all were in a space of becoming attractors rather than chasing. Right. So because you work on yourself, you work on yourself spiritually and all those things, you stop chasing what you think you want, and you start attracting what you actually need and who you have become.
So since you guys have met, how has your energies or your. Your.
The way that you view each other or view the world, has it changed now that you've come together?
[00:07:53] Speaker C: Well, I definitely view him different.
[00:07:56] Speaker A: Oh, hold on. Put a pin on my last question. Go.
[00:07:59] Speaker B: Tell me about that.
There we have it, folks.
[00:08:02] Speaker A: And we started. No go.
[00:08:03] Speaker C: So I used to see him online from time to time, but for me, I'm a person who gets online, and I'll just. Whatever comes on my feed is what I see. I go looking for it. So I miss a lot.
So I would see him doing things, and I would come and comment and, oh, yeah, that's good. And that's one of them. I said, all you need is a. She's stacking now. Right.
[00:08:22] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:08:23] Speaker C: And I wasn't thinking about me at all.
[00:08:25] Speaker A: Right, right, right.
[00:08:25] Speaker C: And so it's just funny how years later, and now we're sitting here, so I see him different because before, I was looking at him like, there's my classmate or old schoolmate.
[00:08:34] Speaker B: Remember we went to high school together? She didn't tell you that?
[00:08:35] Speaker A: Oh, yeah.
[00:08:37] Speaker C: For a couple of years.
[00:08:38] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:08:39] Speaker B: But we weren't cool in high school. We just knew who each other were, but we never really talked.
Enemies. She passed on me.
[00:08:48] Speaker A: Damn.
[00:08:50] Speaker C: But yeah, so just looking at him differently, seeing him, you know, as a man, as a partner. So it's really different. He's really intentional.
[00:08:57] Speaker A: I love that. I love that, David, how. How things. Have your view of each other changed or the world has changed now that you're with a partner now, you know.
[00:09:06] Speaker B: I think for me, definitely showed me a little more about myself. Right. You know, because, you know, when you. And again, I've never really been a chaser. Like. Like, I've never been that type. Of course, I've dated, I've. I've had girlfriends, but I. I'm not the chasing type. My energy. But, you know, but in the end, it's like, of course that's not too common, right, for a lot of men. Like, I know a lot of us chase. And some people make a whole life out of just finding something to chase today. You know what I'm saying? And so part of that is people thinking, like, man, you. You know, like something wrong with you, right? You know what I'm saying? Like, or maybe you ain't capable. Or maybe, you know, it's always. It's just a bunch of stuff. When a man got boundaries and standards, he lived by and don't just want anything, you know, And I think that.
And I think a part of that is you thinking, dang, is they right? You know, and really having to ask yourself, yeah, are they right about me? You know, I'm saying, like, you know, am I supposed to be single forever? Because I'm cool with that, right? If that's what God wanted, right? I'm okay with that. You know what I'm saying? And so.
So, yeah, so I didn't. So I guess I didn't really know for sure what I was capable of, but however, you know, I did have my mind set on what I wanted. And I wasn't, you know, willing to barter with that.
And if it wasn't, you know, what I saw it as in my mind, then it wasn't something I was probably going to accept. And so I had to stick to those boundaries.
So my point is, it showed me more about myself. I didn't realize, you know, I mean, yeah, I talked about these things, but now I have to show it, right? Because if that's not who I am, then my woman's gonna be like, yeah, he do all this talking, but this ain't really how he moved. He. Man can't communicate with. You know what I'm saying? Right, Right, right. And so now it's like, now I gotta really be held accountable for my f. Philosophies and ideologies about communicating and relating. And now I got to put it to the test. And this is the first time I had a chance to really walk the, you know, walk the talk, you know, and she's. And she set the, you know, set the road for me to be able to do that, you know, and allow Me to do that.
[00:11:16] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:11:17] Speaker B: Which has been super cool.
[00:11:18] Speaker A: That's dope. So you guys knew each other in high school. You. You knew each other on social media. But where did the shift happen to where you're like, let's kick it. Like, who slid in whose DMs, or who hit who up?
[00:11:28] Speaker C: What? Me?
[00:11:29] Speaker B: She sliding on me, man.
Thirsty.
[00:11:34] Speaker C: Let me drink.
Hold on.
[00:11:37] Speaker B: No, no.
Again, I. In the DMs, we find out. No, I said I don't chase, but under certain circumstances, I put on my cleats.
But what happened was that I was just paying attention. You know, I've been doing a lot of work, you know, even outside of the dating, I wasn't able to stay in most relationships too long just because of my system. Right, right. And if somebody was outside of that, I didn't challenge that. That's the good thing about me. If you. Outside of my system of, I think, peace and alignment, and I don't. I no longer challenge it. Like, I haven't done that since, like, 20, like 17 or 18 or something. So people, you know, they won't last that long.
[00:12:20] Speaker A: Right.
[00:12:21] Speaker B: So I still was single, you know, mostly. Right.
[00:12:24] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:12:25] Speaker B: And so I had a chance to spend a lot of time with myself again. Had time to change my values, change my, you know, my. My definition of. Of a relationship. I had chances to make sure I strengthened and healed my perspective of what a woman is.
And then I kind of set my, you know, set my system up for only certain types of women.
So, like, you know, I mean, so anybody else will know I'm good. You know, I'm not available. Right, Right. Say that all the time, but for what I was available for, you know, I was paying attention. You know, we had bumped into each other even in Dallas, like, I think it was 20, 21. I want to say, we bumped into each other, and we was all. It was just a few Portland people, and, you know, we know each other from high school. So when I see Keela, I'm like, that's my high school partner.
[00:13:13] Speaker A: Right.
[00:13:13] Speaker B: That's all I know her as.
[00:13:15] Speaker A: Especially if you had a town, because you like Portland. Okay. We gonna connect. Got you.
[00:13:19] Speaker B: Yeah. So it's just. It just. It didn't. We kicked it in Dallas, and it still didn't even click. We hung out. You know, we. We talked, we laughed, we joked, we reminisced about the town. It was a few different Portland people out there. Mannequin was out there.
[00:13:31] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:13:31] Speaker B: That Kendall was out there. It was for, I think, the homegirl I think her name is Carletta.
[00:13:38] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:13:38] Speaker B: She had a grand opening in Dallas, Texas, where she used to live for 13 years.
[00:13:42] Speaker A: Oh, dope. Okay.
[00:13:44] Speaker B: And so, you know, and so I started paying more. I started seeing her spirituality. The first thing I noticed about her was her spirituality, but I had to pay attention, you know, because. Because she was very attractive, you know what I'm saying? And I had to make. I was trying to see what her values was.
Is it your attraction or is it your system of values and spirituality?
And I, you know, first, I couldn't really tell.
And, you know, we.
[00:14:12] Speaker C: No, go ahead. It's true.
[00:14:14] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:14:15] Speaker A: She said it sound like more like a you problem than a me problem.
[00:14:17] Speaker B: Yeah. I'm not saying it's her problem, but I gotta be careful. She didn't do nothing wrong.
[00:14:20] Speaker A: Basically, it was, were you attracted to her physically or were you attracted to her spiritually? You had to decide.
[00:14:25] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, I had to decide what it was and shit. You know what I mean? But the point is.
And I was just paying attention, and it's just. And I've seen her. I started paying attention to her communication.
She started talking a lot. She was creating a lot of important conversations online, which I know I do often, regarding relations regarding man and woman.
She was going a little bit deeper and stuff. And then I was thinking. I was like, you know, and I had never looked at her like that, really. But I was thinking that, like, we gotta, you know, like, we. We gotta get together, you know, like, not for anything other than just building.
[00:15:06] Speaker C: Right.
[00:15:06] Speaker B: You know, because again, I'm a spiritual man. So if anybody knows me, I got friends that are female and male of all types, you know, females. I'm cool with that. I'm not even attracted to, you know, I just like good people.
[00:15:18] Speaker A: Right, right, right.
[00:15:18] Speaker B: And so I just thought. I said, oh, this is good people. Like, and I thought she was. I figured we was from the same tribe, right?
And. And that's why I thought about.
I said, man, like, we. We might be from the same tribe. And I'm like, I don't want to be thirsty, though. And I don't want to, like.
So I was very hesitant, you know what I'm saying? But, you know, it was a. It was an energy thing. And God was like, man, like, you know, you know, just contact her and be honest, you know, I mean, I need you. I need you to. This is one of your people.
And I didn't think that we would be compatible in any other way. You know, I thought we would just have Long conversations and just build and talk about spirituality.
That's mainly what I thought would happen, you know.
[00:15:58] Speaker A: Okay, I need to know because your face is cracking me up right now. I'm telling the truth.
[00:16:02] Speaker B: I'm telling the truth.
I'm telling the truth.
[00:16:05] Speaker C: I'm telling the truth.
[00:16:06] Speaker A: I'm telling you the truth. I got you, Davey. We here. We hear you. I want to know what the DM say, girl. What the DM say?
[00:16:12] Speaker C: What did the DM say?
[00:16:13] Speaker B: See, she's gonna look right at me. Because she don't remember nothing, man.
[00:16:16] Speaker C: No, because I'm trying to remember the exact words.
[00:16:18] Speaker B: I know he said something about the DM said that.
Listen, like, we have. We have things to talk about.
[00:16:24] Speaker C: I think we have something to talk about. We have some things to talk about.
[00:16:27] Speaker B: That's the first thing I said.
[00:16:28] Speaker A: Oh, that was slick.
[00:16:29] Speaker C: Yeah. What do we have to talk about?
[00:16:30] Speaker A: You're like, wait a minute, hold on.
[00:16:31] Speaker B: It was just true, though. You know what I'm saying? Again, it was true. Yeah, we have some things to talk about, you know, and it was just a. It was a pool because I felt her energy. I was like, this is one of my people.
And I was like, chances are, you know, us being compatible, that's probably slim to none, right? We all different people, so.
And I hadn't to do with you. That was just in general, you know, that's just cool. And so we, you know, and so when that happened, I was like, yeah, I think that we, you know, we got a lot in common. I see similar values.
I think we should be cool. I think we should, you know, associate more, you know, and have more conversation.
[00:17:03] Speaker A: Keeping a whole lot of explanation on that. We should talk. So go ahead.
[00:17:08] Speaker B: She didn't respond for, like, almost like three, four hours. I was like, dang.
[00:17:12] Speaker A: Did she read it, though? Did you read it and then you left them already?
[00:17:14] Speaker B: Yeah, she read it. And with the words, I had to think about it.
[00:17:17] Speaker C: I was. I think I was doing something or just.
[00:17:19] Speaker A: And that's message. Okay, I was gonna say. Because if I got that. But I'd be like, she was trying to process it.
[00:17:23] Speaker C: Yeah, I believe it.
[00:17:24] Speaker A: So then, what were your next steps after that?
[00:17:27] Speaker C: I reached out to him a little bit later, and I was like, okay, you know, what are we talking about?
She's like, we started talking.
[00:17:36] Speaker B: That's what you said.
[00:17:37] Speaker C: Like, for hours and hours and hours.
[00:17:39] Speaker B: No, no, wait a minute, wait a minute.
[00:17:42] Speaker A: Well, he about to pull the DMs up right now.
[00:17:43] Speaker B: You said, I can't you said, that makes sense. That's what you said. You said, that makes sense.
Look, she rubbing that knee. You know what happened when you rub that knee? You don't know what, you don't remember? Nothing.
[00:17:55] Speaker A: She's trying to spark the marriage, but.
[00:17:57] Speaker C: She said she hit me up at some point. I did say that.
[00:17:59] Speaker B: Cause, yeah, that makes sense. I was like, that's cool. And I was like, may I have your phone number, please?
[00:18:04] Speaker C: Is that what he said? That was like a couple days later when you asked for my phone number. Cause we were messaging each other, and then you said, may I have your phone number, please?
[00:18:11] Speaker B: That was the same day.
[00:18:14] Speaker A: It was a very long conversation. I love it.
[00:18:17] Speaker B: But that's what happened. So in other words.
[00:18:19] Speaker C: No, I get it.
[00:18:20] Speaker B: In other words, you know, I exchanged numbers with her.
[00:18:22] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:18:23] Speaker B: And we got on the phone and we talked for hours.
I mean, three, four hours one night, three, four hours the next night, sometimes five hours.
[00:18:30] Speaker A: Nice.
[00:18:30] Speaker B: And so what we were doing was everything that people don't do when they get acquainted with somebody. We was going deep into the. The history, the pain, any trauma, the relationships, the upbringing, you know, the. Like, the. The children, the. The experiences. God, the definitions, the. The. The.
The dynamics of femininity. Masculine. We went into everything because we intentional. And I'm definitely intentional as a man. I don't leave nothing uncovered because I'm not playing with nobody no more. Right, right. You know what I'm saying? Look. Yeah, yeah, you. You neither.
But. But, you know, and that. And so we. We did that so much that when we finally got together for the first time, it's like we didn't have much to talk about.
[00:19:17] Speaker A: We just.
[00:19:17] Speaker B: We just hit. Hit it off. When we finally linked up.
Met. Met in Northeast.
She had me on the dance floor, and it was like, I never seen him dance before.
[00:19:26] Speaker A: What?
[00:19:27] Speaker B: And so, yeah, jacket off.
Jacket was off. Yeah. We did a lot of talking, though. That's the main thing. I want to emphasize how much we really, really unwrapped. We didn't just run to hanging out, running to kicking and running. Nobody. We really wanted to make sure we knew who each other was.
[00:19:42] Speaker A: Yeah, I find. I know, like, in talking to people, I find that men value, like, having that. That safe space to have a conversation where they're not going to be judged or things aren't gonna be weaponized against them when they're having a deep conversation. Because a lot of times, you know, an opinion may come out in a way that doesn't suit society's views of things. And then men just kind of hold on to that, so. And I know in season one, we talked a lot about, like, the masculine feminine energy, and you're really big on, you know, how those balance out. So how do you view masculine, feminine energy and then how do you balance that out with him?
[00:20:17] Speaker C: The way I view it is we all have both.
And I think that when we have these conversations, you should be able to figure out where your person is. Right. Where you are before you guys even decide it's gonna work. Because if it's too much, if you're imbalanced or you're too much.
Too much masculine, and he's this. And you guys try to get together, it's just, you know, so. But I do think that they balance each other. Mm. And so I think we balance each other well sometimes, like how you say with society, how they think things are supposed to go.
[00:20:54] Speaker A: Right.
[00:20:54] Speaker C: One thing he was saying all the time was, I like to lead. I'm a leader.
For me, that made me a little bit like a lead, a leader. I'm just. I'm my own person. I'm a free person.
[00:21:03] Speaker A: Right, Right.
[00:21:04] Speaker C: That's just how I am.
[00:21:05] Speaker A: Right.
[00:21:06] Speaker C: And so when I'm really quiet, I'm quiet for the most part.
And so my subtleness and my calmness, you know, that attracts somebody who likes to lead. Right. Makes sense. So when we have maybe a disagreement or something, I can see, you know, still the masculinity. But what I like about him is he has a level of femininity to where he will say, well, what do you think about this? Or maybe I'll think about this again, or, okay, I look at it a different way. Or there was missing information.
Now I understand. But he always looks for the information before coming to a conclusion. Like, something's missing here because we should be able to figure this out.
[00:21:45] Speaker A: Right?
[00:21:45] Speaker C: Right.
[00:21:46] Speaker A: Right.
[00:21:46] Speaker C: Nobody's going anywhere, so we got to figure out a way to figure things out. So I like that he listens. I do like that. I love that.
[00:21:53] Speaker A: I love that. Have your views at all shifted on the roles and. Yeah.
[00:22:00] Speaker B: I don't think so, man. I think I definitely learned a lot more. One thing I have learned is the importance of men having a certain level of femininity, you know, for a balance. I know she's big on balance balances, and.
And I don't think a lot of men understand that. You do need a certain level of femininity to be comprehensive. Right. You know, and so I. I definitely have learned more about that, you know, And. And some of the.
Just some of the ideals behind it. But I. But hold on now. Okay?
I said I like to lead in areas that I'm good at.
[00:22:40] Speaker C: I was gonna say that next, I swear to God.
[00:22:42] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:22:43] Speaker C: I was gonna say that because I just.
[00:22:44] Speaker B: So, so. So I.
I think she didn't really like the word lead. But the point is, I said that people should lead. When I think about leadership roles and relationships, I think people should lead in areas that they stronger in to protect the relationship. So if she. If she drive better than I do, and then I can't be like, well, I'm a man. I should drive if I'm gonna drive us off a bridge. Right, Right. And so, like, if I want to protect us, then I want. I want her to drive. I don't want no ego trip because I'm the man.
[00:23:14] Speaker C: Right?
[00:23:14] Speaker B: So. And I know where I'm stronger at. You know, I'm stronger in certain areas than she is, and there's certain areas that. That she's definitely stronger than me. And I let her know, like, hey, you stronger here, so what we doing? You know, And I think that's a great balance.
[00:23:26] Speaker C: Right, right. I love that.
[00:23:27] Speaker A: I love that. Okay, so in what ways do you guys.
Because, you know, people are big on love. Languages. Right. So in what ways do you each receive love from your partner? And then how do you show love to your partner in a way that they receive it?
And is it difficult because it might not match?
[00:23:46] Speaker B: Right, right.
Receiving it?
I feel like when I. When I receive love, I feel like I'm being.
I'm being heard. You know, I think one thing I've noticed, you know, especially coming from an emotional aspect, you know, you know, with the feminine, is sometimes it's. Even if the men are like that, too. But I'm just saying, in this case, you know something, it's hard to hear sometimes because, you know, you're going through a lot of emotion, and so it's hard to pull out the clarity in that because, you know, so many things are running through your head.
[00:24:24] Speaker C: Right.
[00:24:25] Speaker B: And you want to get your point out so quick before you've actually heard. Right. With the person's talking about.
[00:24:32] Speaker A: Right.
[00:24:32] Speaker B: And I think being heard is a great, you know, somebody actually listening, hearing me, you know, at least paraphrasing. And I think that's what makes people comfortable. Right. No one's gonna keep arguing with. Arguing with you. They shouldn't, let's say. It's crazy, but once they feel like, okay, you know how I feel? That's all I wanted to hear. Now let me know, let me hear.
So that's a language I like. And for her, I like to, you know, one thing I always tell her, I like to be considerate, you know, and I do like to, I like to protect her. Sometimes she would, you know, she thinks. Think it's a little much at times. But I'm a masculine, so I mean.
[00:25:11] Speaker A: In what ways does she need protection? I'm curious.
[00:25:14] Speaker B: I think just, you know, when. Yeah, I'm masculine, so it's like a lot of times, like I just, I. I calculate a lot of stuff, you know what I'm saying? So I think really far ahead. And so it ain't like she's doing nothing wrong, but I'm just foreseeing certain things. And I'm like, hey, maybe we should move this way because of this way down the line. And she like, I can't even see that like, you know what I'm saying? So why are you. Why we've been talking about.
[00:25:37] Speaker A: You think he's an overthinker?
[00:25:39] Speaker C: Sometimes.
[00:25:39] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:25:40] Speaker C: Yeah.
It's not necessarily that I can't see things.
For me, it's you living your life versus to me, one's fear based or just love and protection. But either you can live your life projecting or worrying about what somebody's gonna do down the line.
[00:26:02] Speaker A: Gotcha.
[00:26:03] Speaker C: Which you have to do some of that. Right. Degree.
[00:26:05] Speaker A: Right.
[00:26:05] Speaker C: Right.
Or you're gonna live and know that God got you. Right. Because he can't be with me 24 hours, 24 seven. You know what I mean? So who's protecting me when he's not there? God, you know, and myself and whoever else is around. So.
But you know, yeah, we've had some. He's very protective.
[00:26:23] Speaker B: And the other thing again is consideration, you know, and that's something that I'm intentional with.
I feel like when you sign up for a relationship, a lot of people don't realize you signing up to make decisions for two people, whether they're there or not. And so I'm really good about whether she's there or not, making sure I know how things impact her.
[00:26:43] Speaker A: Right.
[00:26:43] Speaker B: And that I bring her in on a discussion or on the equation, I make sure she's cool with it. You know, it's just doing my. Doing my work to making sure she know, like this is not just a me thing. Like I signed up to make sure that we both okay, not just me, but that we're okay with something.
[00:27:00] Speaker A: Right.
[00:27:00] Speaker B: So that's one way that I protect Her.
[00:27:01] Speaker A: I love that. And in what ways do you receive and show love?
[00:27:06] Speaker C: Receive and show.
I like food.
I like music. You know, Lemon pepper.
Sometimes he'll say, you know, you haven't been dancing in a while. Let's go dancing. I love dancing. I love music.
Consideration, Just planning, you know, even the event.
I was gonna host a different event prior to this one. He asked me, what did you want to do?
And when I told him, he was just like, okay, whatever you decide, I'm gonna support you, but do you think that maybe we should do something together? And then we sprout out into these other directions. Nice. And so just that. Support the consideration, the thought. You know what I'm saying?
The willingness to put himself out there and support me.
And so I really. I appreciate that. So that's definitely a love language of mine.
[00:27:53] Speaker A: Yeah, I love that. I love that. What?
Because you guys are kind of, like, in the public eye and more so because I know David, so I know, like, what he's gone through and things that he's experienced, so. And I know the type of women who throw themselves at him because of his business and all the things. Right.
So how do you guys navigate being in the public eye with a relationship with somebody who typically was private with relationships before, and now you're being very public with it. And how do you kind of ward off the. The naysayers and the gossip and just Portland, you know, culture?
[00:28:27] Speaker C: You want to answer?
[00:28:30] Speaker B: I don't think it's that hard. It hasn't been that much work to do that.
[00:28:34] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:28:34] Speaker B: I mean, typically, people don't. I mean, if anything's being said is usually being said behind closed doors.
[00:28:42] Speaker C: Right.
[00:28:43] Speaker B: Right. I'm a very strong man, and people know that. I'll speak up. Like, I'll address you, like, right. I ask you what's going on?
And so I don't. I don't. I just feel like a lot of people don't want to deal with me having to address them directly.
[00:28:57] Speaker A: Right.
[00:28:58] Speaker B: And so even the people that might not like me, they never say it out loud, typically, because, I mean, they not comfortable with, you know, with having to be the one who goes against me.
Whatever I'm gonna say behind that, so it don't happen as much.
But I just really want to say that I don't like being public with relationships. I typically don't.
I do feel like our community has been struggling with the respect and the honor for black love.
And there's been a lot of rumors about the fact that it don't Exist, and it can't be healthy. And, you know, and they're. They're dangerous dynamics, you know, and this is a moment where, you know, God said, you know, I. I need you to. I know you don't like being out there, but I. I need you to show this one.
[00:29:49] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:29:50] Speaker B: Because people look up to you in every other way. Why can't they look up to you when it comes to the display of love?
[00:29:54] Speaker C: You know?
[00:29:55] Speaker B: And so that was important, you know, for me. That was really for my community. We don't really need to tell nobody nothing, but we do need them to see what it looks like.
[00:30:03] Speaker A: Right.
[00:30:04] Speaker B: You know, so we can try to create more of the same.
[00:30:07] Speaker A: Has there been any difficulty on your part as far as being in a public relationship, per se?
[00:30:12] Speaker B: Yeah.
Everybody wants your man.
[00:30:18] Speaker A: I don't know.
[00:30:20] Speaker C: I think he does such a good job at consistently showing up and showing his loyalty and dedication. I don't really worry.
[00:30:30] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:30:33] Speaker C: And then I'm just. I'm just not.
It hasn't been bad. I'll say that.
He's kind of oblivious sometimes, but it hasn't been bad. We've talked about that. So lies over his head.
Somebody's right in his face. I'm like, you just. He was like, oh, I didn't even see you.
[00:30:47] Speaker B: It's like, yeah, I didn't see nothing. I thought she wanted a shirt.
[00:30:51] Speaker A: Right.
Well, have you.
Like, for you. I know you said you haven't dated in a long time prior to this, but when you were dating, were you more public or private with your relationships?
[00:31:03] Speaker C: I wasn't necessarily either. Okay. But it was one of those things where if we're out and we happen to take a picture and put it online. Okay. But I'm not the person to just report every move. You know what I mean?
[00:31:16] Speaker A: Right, right, right.
[00:31:17] Speaker C: So, you know, I've been in a relationship where the guy was like, how come you don't post me?
[00:31:21] Speaker B: You know, And I'm like, you gonna embarrass me?
[00:31:25] Speaker A: No. Why do I need to?
There's always. There's gotta be a subconscious thing that happens. Cause you'd be like, you know, in your mind, you'd be like, I just don't do this. But subconsciously, you're like, yeah, maybe.
[00:31:38] Speaker C: And I think with him, too, I think I kind of felt something, like it wasn't gonna last.
[00:31:43] Speaker A: Got you. So got you.
[00:31:45] Speaker C: That makes sense.
[00:31:46] Speaker A: I feel it. How do with you and your own businesses? Because you have the. Say my name. Incursive. And then you have the Unlock with key. So how do you maintain your individuality and how do you manage your businesses? You know, when you're in with a person who also is an entrepreneur, it's.
[00:32:05] Speaker C: It gets busy, I'll tell you that. But the stages that they're both in, like moving here from Dallas and then having to kind of repackage things and you know, start up certain things.
[00:32:16] Speaker A: Right.
[00:32:19] Speaker C: It hasn't been tough. But keeping my individuality, I would say say my name incursive has almost been fused with returning black to love. I see so much of it showing up there. Got you. But that's because it's love based.
[00:32:30] Speaker A: Right.
[00:32:30] Speaker C: And so of course a lot of those principles are going to go into that, but this is solely focused on the divine feminine.
[00:32:36] Speaker B: Right.
[00:32:37] Speaker C: And through healing, that aspect in all of us, you know, that'll consequently heal the male as well, you know, the divine masculine. So yeah, just keeping it in mind. But the parts that do intertwine, it works.
[00:32:48] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:32:48] Speaker C: You know, it's less work to do.
[00:32:50] Speaker A: Okay. And talk about your business while we're on, on the subject, talk about your businesses. What is it that you do and, and work? How can people like understand what it's about? Because you, you say that it's about healing in the divine feminine. So what does that look like for your business and what is it?
[00:33:06] Speaker C: So it's a space providing, I provide events and products.
[00:33:10] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:33:11] Speaker C: That cultivate and celebrate the divine feminine.
[00:33:15] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:33:16] Speaker C: And so what that looks like is like this event that we're doing right now, returning black to love. You'll have a space, love induced music, all things feminine in there. You know, everything is just love based. But it's about celebrating different aspects of different feminine. Maybe goddesses or leaders in the past or just regular women, everyday women pulling from those women and celebrating those qualities.
[00:33:45] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:33:46] Speaker C: And then hoping that people can see that within themselves.
Because I feel like that's what. Well, that's what God gave me during COVID Was this name, say my name incursive. What am I doing with this?
[00:33:56] Speaker A: Right.
[00:33:56] Speaker C: And so it all made sense after a while.
[00:33:59] Speaker A: I love that, I love that for you, David, like for your businesses and everything, because you are now collaborating, you know, with your partner. How do you maintain what you do while still supporting what she's got going on and what you guys are working on together?
[00:34:15] Speaker B: You know, I just, I do my best to try to compartmentalize stuff, I guess. You know, I mean, like.
And it's been, ain't been easy though. You know what I'm Saying. And so I had to. Sometimes I have to realize when, oh, you putting less energy over here, you know, and I have to have to revive that, you know, because that's one thing that happens in relationships sometimes you lose your sense of individuality and what you were building before it happened, you know, and I gotta be careful of that, right? And so, you know, I think there's just, you know, I think there's just. There's time and there's energy just dedicated to each.
Typically, when we knock together, I'm mostly focusing on, you know, stacking and, you know, my writing, my speaking and things like that. And when. And she does, you know, when I'm doing that, then, you know, she's doing the say My name incursive and working on the Unlocked and, you know, the Body Butters and things like that.
And then when we together, then we powwow, you know, now we back talking about Return Black, the love.
You know, we going over ideas. You know, we, you know, we sending each other podcast interviews and, you know, we just doing research. And, you know, she's like, did you see this?
She'll see something on Facebook. Did you see this? I'm like, let's process that.
[00:35:31] Speaker C: I'm sending you the screenshot.
[00:35:33] Speaker A: Listen.
[00:35:34] Speaker B: So we process everything. And she always wanted to know. She always want to know what I think about something, if I seen something. And sometimes I do the same thing as well, because we just. I think we just feed off each other a lot and we trust each other's judgment, you know, and. And we trust the fact that we. We humble enough to know that sometimes there's things that she's gonna see that I can't, and then I'm seeing some things that she can't. And we like to bring those things together and make a full picture right.
[00:36:00] Speaker A: Now, I remember one thing you said during season one when you were on the show was that your business tends to suffer when you're in a relationship. And I personally have noticed that you have shifted a lot of your efforts into like, the. The motivational pieces and the working with people. And really, like, I think that because you've done a lot of work with yourself that you're now kind of sharing that out.
So do you feel like that thought that you had back in season one, where your business would suffer if you're in a relationship, has that changed or is it more that you just decide to move into a different direction?
[00:36:35] Speaker B: I think it's both. In this case, it's both. I really do want to move In a different direction because I've grown so much. And so I have to consistently kind of process the idea of what I want to do with stacking.
[00:36:46] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:36:46] Speaker B: But it's like, it's been. Stack has been so monumental. It's like, it's hard to really justify doing anything outside of continuing to build it.
[00:36:54] Speaker C: Right.
[00:36:55] Speaker B: You know, but definitely in a relationship. And I don't know if it's been so much as me as it has been just, you know, I think women realizing that whatever dream they had is gone. You know what I'm saying? Like, I know that sounds weird, but.
[00:37:12] Speaker A: Damn. Damn.
[00:37:13] Speaker B: I know that sounds weird, but it's like, a lot of women that used to support me, they don't no more.
[00:37:18] Speaker A: Listen, I bet you your sales went down when that shoe picture came out. Cause I think that was the first time that I noticed that you had posted her. When y' all had put some of the shoes together. And I was like. I knocked and like, David done found somebody.
[00:37:31] Speaker B: I said, what the.
[00:37:32] Speaker C: I said.
[00:37:32] Speaker A: And then the next picture was y' all together and y' all were going somewhere. So I was like, oh, shizzy. So have you noticed that your sales with women have gone down since, oh, 100%.
[00:37:40] Speaker B: Oh, definitely. Yeah, they. Yeah, they don't. Yeah, they went down. And that's what we go through.
[00:37:45] Speaker A: You don't know.
[00:37:45] Speaker B: You don't know it's real until it happens. But it's like, in my mind, I gotta be okay with that. Because if you don't support me. Cause I'm in a relationship, then you never did support. You was supporting me under certain terms.
[00:37:57] Speaker A: I mean, you did say, if you trying to date me, you gotta kinda trick me into it by buying some stuff and support my business. So, you know, I'm just.
[00:38:03] Speaker C: You know, we can go back to.
[00:38:05] Speaker B: No, no, no, no, no. At the minimum, I can't even see you if you don't buy nothing.
She bought one thing. Ain't bought nothing since. Since I came up, came back home.
[00:38:13] Speaker C: But I bought two things.
[00:38:15] Speaker A: Listen, there we go.
[00:38:16] Speaker B: But, yeah, I mean, I'm not saying that's gonna work, but I'm saying. I'm saying at least I can.
[00:38:22] Speaker C: Y' all should have bought what I bought.
[00:38:24] Speaker A: Listen, there we go. Go.
[00:38:26] Speaker B: Y' all fumble back, but I'm not worried about it. But I got a bigger purpose. And, you know, the people gonna rock with me. They're gonna just keep rocking, you know what I'm saying? And we gonna keep leveling up, you know, the brand and we Want people who really love us for the brand, you know, and not some. Some.
Some dream in heaven that they got with me. Land on a bunch of clouds with no shirt on.
[00:38:49] Speaker A: You know, what is that? Where'd that visual come from?
I feel like that was very specific.
[00:38:55] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm just off the top.
[00:38:57] Speaker A: There must have been like a DM somewhere. Like, I imagine you.
[00:39:00] Speaker B: But I've never supported. I've never. I've never supported a woman just. Cause I thought she, you know, would give me some of her personal time. I've never done that before.
[00:39:07] Speaker A: Listen, the amount of fake meetings that I have had because somebody thought that it was gonna be a date.
[00:39:12] Speaker B: And I know, it really happens.
[00:39:13] Speaker A: It does. It's crazy. It's like I get invited onto. Like, they'll be like, oh. Cause, you know, I really be about my business. Like, I have a lot of stuff going on and I'll get a call like, oh, yeah, you know, I'm doing this project. I really want to meet with you. I'm like, okay, cool, set up a meeting. Here's my calendar link. I go and show up like, you want to drink? You want. I'm like, I don't drink on my work meetings. What's happening? And then it'd be like, you know, my partner can't make it. I'm like, oh, oh, this is what we're doing today. Got it. I don't like it.
The setup is real. Oh, my goodness.
What is one, like, really strong relationship boundary that you guys have said that you think really helps you all in your relationship as well as your work relationship that you think is like a foundational boundary that people should set.
[00:39:57] Speaker C: Not to go against whatever your moral compass is, you know, don't betray yourself. Those are the things that, you know, they kind of. Yeah, that's it for me in every arena.
[00:40:09] Speaker A: I love that. I love that.
[00:40:10] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:40:11] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:40:12] Speaker B: And I feel like. I mean, there's been a couple we've talked about, man. Jesus.
But I mean, I think one thing is. I mean, one thing we don't do is, I mean, we don't scream and yell at each other.
You know what I mean? Like, we have had tough conversations because we both can communicate, but we don't scream, we don't yell, we don't slam doors, we never call each other names or none of that. You know what I mean? And that's part of the. And you know, we do have a problem resolution boundary. I think at the minimum, you know, we can hold off and talk about something later if we really want to, but, like, we don't go overboard with each other to where we have to apologize about something.
[00:40:56] Speaker A: Gotcha. Are you more of like an in the moment to have a discussion when something happens, or are you like a processor?
[00:41:01] Speaker B: I'm in the moment. She's a processor.
[00:41:03] Speaker A: So how do you guys navigate that?
[00:41:06] Speaker B: How do we navigate it?
I think.
[00:41:10] Speaker C: I think I'm looking at him.
[00:41:12] Speaker B: So I think the thing is this. I mean, I like to talk about things because I'm just quick, you know, and I can go deep fast.
[00:41:19] Speaker A: You like to talk?
[00:41:20] Speaker B: Yeah. Yes. Because. Because. Because you can't.
But you can't really move on without talking because if you try to, you're gonna continue to think about what's going on, so it throws your energy off. So my thing was, I'm cool if she said, hey, you know, like, you know, I'm not in the energy to talk about that right now, but I do want to talk to you tomorrow, if that's okay. And then I'm like, okay, well, that. That makes sense. Because now. But if you just don't say nothing, and then I'm gonna be like, well, you know, are we talking or. No? You know what I'm saying? And then she.
And we gotta get to that point. As long as you got an understanding, I think it's cool. I don't think nobody should be forced to talk right now.
[00:41:56] Speaker C: Right.
[00:41:57] Speaker B: As long as they let you know, hey, this ain't a good time.
[00:41:59] Speaker A: Gotcha.
[00:42:00] Speaker B: And I and the other person needed to respect that for sure.
[00:42:03] Speaker C: But I've learned with him, though, to hold on. Don't say nothing till you process. Like, don't let him know you're processing, because he'd be looking like, wait. Something we gotta.
[00:42:12] Speaker B: Yeah, I like that too.
[00:42:13] Speaker A: You know?
[00:42:14] Speaker B: And that's one good thing.
[00:42:15] Speaker C: So I don't say, just wait. And then after I processed and I got. You know what, babe? I was thinking about yesterday or the other day, right?
[00:42:22] Speaker B: And I don't even know. She processing, right?
[00:42:24] Speaker C: Yeah, you don't know, because I don't treat him no different. I don't act no different.
[00:42:27] Speaker A: Gotcha.
[00:42:28] Speaker B: And so the thing is, most people, when they processing, but they don't tell you they treat you differently, right? The energy's low, right? Like, what's going on?
[00:42:35] Speaker C: Right?
[00:42:35] Speaker B: But she the same person, even though she processing and I don't know it, and then boom. I want to talk to you about this.
Did it take you some time to get to be that person?
[00:42:47] Speaker C: No, I'm pretty Much like that.
[00:42:49] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:42:50] Speaker B: Soft softness there.
[00:42:52] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, that's. It's fair, but it's very. It's almost. I feel like that's almost kind of masculine, too, in a way, like, energy. Because you're.
[00:42:59] Speaker B: It is.
[00:42:59] Speaker A: You're logical with how you approach something, so that makes sense and that. I like that. Okay, take notes, y'. All, Take notes. Process without changing how you act towards people.
[00:43:09] Speaker B: Yeah. And that's hard to do.
[00:43:10] Speaker A: That is very hard. Especially because if you. I think most of the time, it's like people know they done up. They done did something, and now they're like, okay, I gotta talk about this right now. Because, you know, it's something. I know you mad about it. I know you mad. Cause if I know you, then I know you mad. But if you keep like that, then I'll be good, you know. You know, we'll talk about later. No big deal. You know, that's. That's a. That's a very strong practice because I think it takes a lot of practice. So it's probably better that you've been like that your whole time, because I know people that are like.
[00:43:37] Speaker B: Right. They start slamming doors.
[00:43:38] Speaker A: Listen, listen. Stomping, pouting, that lip come out. You know, all the things.
So how did you guys come up with the idea of Return Black to love the idea?
[00:43:53] Speaker B: Oh, that's tough.
I know she came up with the name, though, which was powerful.
But I think we probably came up with the idea because we were going back and forth. Let's. Let's. Let's just.
Let's be real. Okay.
It's a good reel, though, right? So take your hand off this. Put your back right here.
[00:44:12] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:44:13] Speaker B: Like, we don't need. Come back up a little bit. Act like we know each other.
And so we. We went public.
Why did we go public?
I don't really know. She went public first.
[00:44:27] Speaker C: No, I did not. You.
[00:44:29] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness. Anyway, we went public.
We went public. You know, we were. You know, we were. We felt like we were in alignment. You know, our values align. Like, the right things align with what we stand for.
[00:44:42] Speaker A: Right.
[00:44:42] Speaker B: And it was. It was a great thing, what we.
We were happy, but what we didn't know was how inspiring that would be for other people.
[00:44:50] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:44:51] Speaker B: So we weren't. We didn't realize the impact we would have on other people in the community when they. Especially a man like me who they never really seen with anybody. And most of her friends never seen her with really anybody publicly. So it was different for my friends and her friends. And everybod that knows each of us separately and the people that know us both.
[00:45:10] Speaker A: Right.
[00:45:11] Speaker B: And the thing that we heard the most was, man, that make perfect sense.
Same thing she said when I got in that dm.
[00:45:17] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:45:18] Speaker B: So the point is. So. So the point is, is you did say that. So the point is we. I think we was thrown off and surprised by how.
How much it inspired people. We didn't realize that was going to happen from that feeling that led to let me know that, oh, God, got a purpose for us.
Right. If we move in people like this already, we haven't even really tried.
How else can we move community with what we're building?
How can we create, you know, how can we create a platform to show them even more about what we're doing and talk about it more and. And make it normal and make it popular and then show the beauty in it.
[00:45:57] Speaker C: Right?
[00:45:57] Speaker B: And then show how you. How you maneuver through it.
[00:46:00] Speaker C: Right.
[00:46:00] Speaker B: You know, and that's what we were talking about because we wanted to do our own events, kinda, you know what I'm saying? And I was gonna support her, help her get acclimated back out here because she only been back less than a year, you know what I'm saying? And.
And using my platform to support my lady. And essentially I was like, you know, we might want to just do something together. Cause we share values. And she was like, I don't know. I got my own thing going on. I don't really be doing stuff with people like that now. Okay, I need to think about it. Let me call you back.
I was like, all right. Okay. And then it came out, you know, and we talked about. She said, yeah, I think we should. You know, we started recording. We started doing a couple of little podcast things together.
[00:46:40] Speaker A: Because you had like the divine dynamic.
[00:46:41] Speaker B: Divine dynamics.
[00:46:42] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:46:42] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:46:43] Speaker B: So. And that's kind of how it happens. We was processing, and then she was like, I got an idea. You know, return black to love. And I was like, oh, yeah, that's perfect. You know, and of course she spelled black with the Q because everything she writes got a different letter in it. Like if she write time, it's T, Y, M, E.
There's no I anywhere.
Oh, Tym. No E either. Yeah. And so that. That's why that came from spirit.
[00:47:08] Speaker A: That's. That's on par.
[00:47:09] Speaker B: And that's one thing I like about it. Cause I know. I know when she's writing me, but. But. But the thing is, I mean, that's. That's where that came from. And we Realized that we may have had a bigger purpose together than just being together, and that we could maybe impact more lives by showing how this works. Because this is something that they say don't exist.
[00:47:27] Speaker C: Gotcha.
[00:47:28] Speaker A: And I love that. So I know you and I had a conversation because I was like, what is it? Like, is it a play? Is it a panel? Is it what's happening? Are you gonna get on stage and start acting like, I wasn't quite sure what's happening?
And so for those who don't know, and this is Portland based, y'. All, but for those of y' all don't know, what is this Return Black to Love series that's happening?
[00:47:47] Speaker C: So it's a seven part series, and then at the end, we're gonna have a black love ball.
But the point of it all is to return back. When we say returning black to love, we wanna revive black love.
We want to keep it going.
Like I told him in my mind, it's almost like an endangered species in some areas.
And so you have to treat it as such. You got to give it the environment it needs. You have to protect it. You know, you got to feed it. You just got to treat it like it's fragile and just. Yeah. And just grow it. And so that's what the series is designed to do. Break down different things that we go through and then show healthy ways of solving it and then even offer different ways that we may have loved in the past.
So we're gonna go back and look at different things that we did in our different cultures. You know, like some cultures, they have a ritual when you get together with somebody where somebody comes and they. I'm sorry. And they bless everything. Right. You know, and everybody comes. You know, just simple stuff like that.
[00:48:43] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:48:44] Speaker C: And then they continue to do that year by year. The relationship belongs to the community. Because what is the community made up of? Couples and facts, you know, individuals.
[00:48:53] Speaker A: Right.
[00:48:53] Speaker C: And so we want to make sure everybody's healthy. Right, right. Feeling love and giving love.
[00:48:57] Speaker A: I love that.
[00:48:58] Speaker B: And so what we mean by seven parts is that this is just the intro. And there's going to be a part that's going to come about every few months. Each part is going to consist of another different play and another panel. Right, right. So it's not really just, you know, per se relationship. Love is kind of about black community, love each other.
So there's going to be a black education aspect of it. You know, there's probably gonna be a black mental health aspect of it. You know, a black business Aspect of it, you know, all these different things gonna have their own separate play, and we gonna continue to do it until this becomes normal. And so part of my reason was thinking about me being a mentor for so long and doing a lot of speaking. I'm at schools, I'm at, you know, prisons I'm at. I'm everywhere doing what I do.
And when I look back at it, I thought about. And, you know, again, not you, but I'm just saying, like, when I. When I take a look back at some of the parents.
[00:50:01] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:50:01] Speaker B: Of the kids that I mentored, and I see where the discrepancy is.
[00:50:05] Speaker C: Right.
[00:50:06] Speaker B: And it made me feel like I'm trying to repair a tree at the leaves instead of the roots.
So how can we turn the love back to the roots? Right, right. And help parents, you know, and anybody in the community understand what their role could be and strengthening this community.
[00:50:24] Speaker A: Right.
[00:50:24] Speaker B: You know, because everybody got a role they can play. And when people leave this event, we want them to have a call to action of what we all can do. Right. Everybody can't be a mentor or a coach or leader or speaker, but at the very minimum, you can represent a healthy adult online and offline. You can promote and push love and do your best to make that part normal in your home, in all the areas that you. That you visit.
[00:50:51] Speaker A: Right.
[00:50:51] Speaker B: And so that's the main goal overall, is to restore it by making sure everybody know they got a role. Sometimes people think that they don't have. It's just, let me put them in a program and he gonna fix. But we all gotta. We all gotta do something. So that's also an aspect of returning black to love. Because if we was doing more of that, we'd probably have to do less prison speakings and.
[00:51:12] Speaker A: Right. I love that you're saying that, though, because, like, a lot of the programs that are out there, while they're really great and amazing, they do amazing work. It's always like a band aid, and it's fixing, like. Like you said, like the outer part of the problem where we're not. When we. We fix the problem, when the. The child or the person or the adults in the program and they go back to their environment and they're going back to a broken environment or a space that hasn't been healed, or we're dealing with generational traumas and things that we're pushing on to the next person. So I love that you're the. You're saying it from the root up. Right.
The event itself, though. Though like what would somebody expect at the event? Like what, how does that look? Like what's the event look like?
[00:51:50] Speaker B: What they're going to expect is they're going to come in, get registered, people gonna have an hour to. You know, we. We haven't it catered.
We got Abbey Creek wine, complimentary shout out to Bertone. Right. Tony Austin. We gonna, we're gonna probably start around 7:30.
[00:52:10] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:52:10] Speaker B: Me and Keela gonna get a chance to do a quick intro, help people understand what this event is about, why we're here, what the goal and purpose of.
And then we're gonna introduce the play, right. Which is a be bat Durasimi and my guy Latvin Alexander.
[00:52:26] Speaker C: You know him?
[00:52:26] Speaker A: I know both of them. I love them.
[00:52:28] Speaker B: You know, it's some beast.
[00:52:29] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:52:30] Speaker B: And so then what they're gonna do is they're gonna do four different.
Four different scenarios in the same scene.
[00:52:38] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:52:38] Speaker B: And they're going to show the crowd different ways to. To resolution.
Right. Because I'm trying to. My goal is to put all the things I talk about into.
Into physical form so they can see what it looks like.
[00:52:52] Speaker C: Right.
[00:52:53] Speaker B: Sometimes talking don't work and preaching and writing don't always work. I want to see if I can show them the resolution that we normally do and sometimes what some people do and what we could do so they can see the difference.
[00:53:06] Speaker A: Gotcha.
[00:53:06] Speaker B: And so that's gonna happen and then we're gonna take a quick, A quick shift and then we're gonna bring in the panelists on the stage. I'm on the stage as a panelist. Keela's on the stage as a panelist. Marte Brown and the amazing Jasmine Smith. And it's gonna be moderated by Lakiana.
[00:53:26] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:53:26] Speaker B: And so we, so we got the head, we got the powerhouses there. So we want this to be. To have a lot of impact. And then we want to all get a couple questions in and address our role in the community and what we do.
And we want to have a. We want to leave time for a Q A for at least half an hour because they don't want. They're gonna have questions.
We got a raffle that we giving out and that we call in that right around the end.
[00:53:52] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:53:54] Speaker B: And this is right before we start mingling. Right.
And so we got three different prizes for the raffles that people can win. One is a seaside basket with a seaside hotel and dinner. And then the second one is a Vancouver waterfront hotel and dinner. And the third one is Portland Center Stage event And dinner downtown Portland.
[00:54:17] Speaker A: So basically you got some three like events where you can go experience love a little bit. I feel you.
[00:54:22] Speaker B: I like that you take your grandma or somebody if you're single and then come on Meemaw. And then. But then what we want, we want people to mingle, right? Because we want people to come and talk to us. We want people to come tell us how they feel.
We're gonna have people in the.
Our volunteers are gonna ask questions about the event on camera.
[00:54:41] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:54:42] Speaker B: You know, peak beanie shooting and what else?
And then we'll be having sign ups for people too. We'll have a QR code. We giving out.
We're giving out the programs. That's gonna have a QR code on there.
[00:54:56] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:54:56] Speaker B: So people can start to sign up and figure out where we doing the next event and when so people can be a part of the revolution. So if that makes sense.
[00:55:05] Speaker A: Yeah, well, it will it always be at the.
Was it.
[00:55:08] Speaker B: It may not be always at Portland center stage.
[00:55:10] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:55:10] Speaker B: November 8th, Portland Center Stage.
[00:55:12] Speaker A: Listen, so by the time that this airs, it will have already taken place, but you will be doing like since it's seven part series.
[00:55:18] Speaker B: Yeah, this is the intro.
[00:55:19] Speaker A: Right.
[00:55:20] Speaker B: So seven more after this.
[00:55:21] Speaker A: So I love that. So did you guys like sit down and write the play and all the scenarios together? Do you have someone that's helping you write the play?
How's that work?
[00:55:31] Speaker B: I was kind of writing most of the play. Keela backed me up and she, she implemented things that I missed, you know, and helped me sort of design it.
Yeah, she helped, she helped me, you know, and when something wasn't right, you know, she, she had proposed a shift in something, but I spent a lot of time writing it and getting it done. You know what I'm saying? With, with her support on the end. Back end for sure.
[00:55:53] Speaker A: Gotcha, gotcha. And so with this event happening and like how you guys are kind of fusing both of your, your thoughts and your mindsets into what black love looks like, what is your like, I guess outside of just the, the seven part series, what is your action? Items that you guys are contributing to, how to keep this going.
Like, how did like, are you gonna just do the events?
[00:56:15] Speaker B: Oh no.
[00:56:16] Speaker A: Mentoring. Are you gonna be taking clients and like here, let's do some therapy.
What's that look like?
[00:56:22] Speaker C: So I think you briefly mentioned we are going to be doing classes.
[00:56:26] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:56:26] Speaker C: People can, you know, take part maybe twice a month. Gotcha. One for women and one for men.
[00:56:32] Speaker A: Beautiful. Okay.
[00:56:33] Speaker C: And then like I said, Mine is already my say my name inclusive and the unlock with key. You know, all those. Everything is pouring into making us better, getting us where we got to get to.
[00:56:43] Speaker B: Yeah. We're both going to do groups in. In between time. So the real plan for this is for it to never stop.
[00:56:49] Speaker A: Right, Right.
[00:56:50] Speaker B: I mean, never.
So even when the seven part series up, we're gonna start another seven part series.
[00:56:55] Speaker A: Gotcha.
[00:56:56] Speaker B: You know, and in between the series, we gonna. She gonna have her unlock with key group and I'm gonna have my bridge of the guys men's group.
[00:57:03] Speaker A: Oh, nice.
[00:57:04] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:57:04] Speaker B: And so. And then essentially I'm gonna get back to the. The definition of success.
[00:57:08] Speaker C: Right.
[00:57:08] Speaker B: Kids group.
[00:57:09] Speaker A: Gotcha.
[00:57:09] Speaker B: And so either this is never gonna stop because, I mean, we can't just do an event. Like we're in a state of emergency right now. And what we need is consistency.
[00:57:17] Speaker A: You don't rip this bandit off. You got to keep healing the process for everybody.
[00:57:20] Speaker B: 100.
[00:57:21] Speaker A: Yeah, I love that. I love that. What.
[00:57:24] Speaker C: Who do you.
[00:57:25] Speaker A: Who do you envision working with in the future as far as potential actors? Like, do you. How big do you gonna take this?
Is it going to be in the big screen? Like, are we going that far? Are we traveling with it? Like, how. How are we doing this?
[00:57:39] Speaker C: I see it going far.
[00:57:40] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:57:41] Speaker C: Very far.
[00:57:41] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:57:42] Speaker C: I know. There's some speakers I would like to connect with.
[00:57:45] Speaker B: Oh, we didn't talk about the speakers. Speaker event at the end. At the end. Yeah.
[00:57:52] Speaker C: But. Oh, yeah, at the very end. Yeah. After the 7th is over.
[00:57:55] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:57:55] Speaker B: Yeah, we're going with the. I mean, we're gonna try to bring down Jason Wilson.
[00:58:00] Speaker A: Oh, nice. Oh, the guy you were telling me about.
[00:58:02] Speaker B: And we want to bring him. And we want to bring him back with. With, you know, with Joy.
[00:58:06] Speaker A: No, hopefully.
[00:58:07] Speaker B: So. And do it just a full conference with.
[00:58:08] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:58:09] Speaker B: You know, so.
[00:58:09] Speaker C: But Joy or. Or April kind of teetering between. April Mason. I don't know. You know, she is trying. Okay. Maybe get on her radar.
[00:58:17] Speaker A: I love it. I love it.
[00:58:19] Speaker B: Or Dr. Umar. No, I'm kidding.
Okay, never mind.
[00:58:22] Speaker A: Bring him to Portland. It's going to be a whole.
A whole lot of mad interracial couples.
So you guys have your own individual businesses. You guys have this thing together. What has been your biggest professional win and then your biggest relationship win?
[00:58:41] Speaker C: Hmm.
That's a good one.
[00:58:44] Speaker B: Professional win. I think this event is a win. Honestly, this is a dream come true. Like, you know, I've always wanted to write a play. I've always wanted to, you know, to Share this information and create this experience. You know and.
And always wanting to be a part of just change.
[00:59:05] Speaker A: Right.
[00:59:05] Speaker B: And growth in the community. Like this is what I dreamed I would do, you know, something like this. But the play is huge for me because I've always wanted to write one and have an opportunity now to do it and knowing people are coming to watch it, you know, it's a huge, huge. And having professional actors and actors. Actress. That's huge for. For me. You know. And then.
And I think you know, same for you or.
[00:59:27] Speaker C: Yeah. Professional.
[00:59:28] Speaker B: Because you've always wanted to do this is what she came to Portland to do.
[00:59:32] Speaker C: Yeah. I love that. Makes do a little damage.
[00:59:35] Speaker A: Yeah. I got you.
[00:59:35] Speaker C: Not good damage that part I think relationship wise. I think the biggest win for me because you asked relationship.
[00:59:42] Speaker A: Right. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:59:44] Speaker C: I think not running.
I'm not necessarily a runner, but I'm like him. Like if something is. I'm like uh huh. You know. So even though I hadn't been dating over those years, you know, there were attempts.
[00:59:55] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:59:56] Speaker C: And it's like where people are trying to get at me and it's like I don't really like the way this is feeling. I'm bored now or it's not adding up. I'm gone. So I think that's been a huge thing for me.
[01:00:05] Speaker A: I love that.
[01:00:06] Speaker C: You know, I haven't ran.
[01:00:07] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean really. It's like the two most difficult people got together and stayed like it works, it works. You know what I'm saying? Like we're extremely difficult with everybody else. You know what I mean? And so to see that happen.
Yeah. That's also a miracle for sure.
[01:00:25] Speaker A: What would you tell somebody who.
Not necessarily like a runner but like we get so focused on the inner peace. Like you don't disrupt my peace. Right. How do you differentiate and what would you tell somebody what is self sabotage versus protecting your peace?
[01:00:45] Speaker C: I would say get to know you and be okay with you and then don't pretend that every situation something is something somebody else did and they're disturbing your peace. When really you just haven't dealt with that aspect of yourself.
You know, everybody can't be.
It can't be everybody else all the time.
[01:01:07] Speaker A: Okay.
[01:01:07] Speaker C: You know, so you gotta clean your energy up so you can attract and see different. Right.
[01:01:12] Speaker B: You know, and then have boundaries against things that aren't it. Some people don't have that. And so. But one thing I know about the average person is that I said a little bit earlier about the being on the fence yeah.
Most people are either on one side or the other. You know, either they date whoever or they're too scared to date anybody.
[01:01:32] Speaker A: Right, right.
[01:01:34] Speaker B: Come on, let's be we speaking the truth. Right?
And so I found that, you know, like I said, I found the balance for, I mean, probably both of us, but especially me, to really, really learn how to perfect being on the fence so I can see both sides.
[01:01:47] Speaker C: Okay?
[01:01:48] Speaker B: Right.
[01:01:49] Speaker C: And.
[01:01:50] Speaker B: And so now I have a way to protect myself from things that come to disturb my peace that are out of alignment. Because I know self, right.
But also I'm open minded to things that are extraordinarily good circumstances because I'm not in pain no more and I'm not looking for defeat.
[01:02:08] Speaker A: Right.
[01:02:08] Speaker B: So I'm on the fence. And now I'm able to take a look at both and make a conscious decision as opposed to being all the way on one side and can't see the other.
[01:02:17] Speaker C: Right?
[01:02:17] Speaker B: Or being on all inside, can't see the other. And that's where most people are. Everybody needs to find a way to be on the fence and be able to see both sides. To do that, you have to heal and do a lot of self work and you have to have proper values, proper standards and proper boundaries.
[01:02:31] Speaker A: That's the first time I've heard someone say being on the fence is a good thing. So that's a good thing when you.
[01:02:35] Speaker B: Look at it that way.
[01:02:36] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. And being in alignment means that you don't get knocked over on the other side. So that. That makes sense. What is with this series that you got going on? What is the biggest myth in black love?
[01:02:49] Speaker C: The biggest myth.
[01:02:53] Speaker B: Jesus Christ. So many myths. They got the biggest one right?
[01:02:57] Speaker A: The most detrimental one, aside from it doesn't exist.
[01:03:02] Speaker B: I feel like the biggest myth is that I think black women only want you for what you have.
[01:03:12] Speaker A: Okay.
[01:03:13] Speaker B: You know, huge myth, you know, and men don't. And men don't know how to provide or don't care about providing. You know, on the other side, right. There's some men who do care about protection and provision, you know, and leadership.
And there are some women who won't.
Who don't just want you because of what you have. And a lot of men think that, right. You know, and, and I think that's probably a myth, right? And when people go into that, and I think that's where the judgment comes of the opposite sex, you know, and this is why they stay away, because they think they're somehow. They think they're all like that.
[01:03:50] Speaker A: Right.
[01:03:51] Speaker B: You know, and I think that's where.
[01:03:52] Speaker A: People got to find some generalization is a killer.
[01:03:56] Speaker B: What do you want to say?
[01:04:00] Speaker C: I'm still thinking the biggest one I'm still thinking about. It's just so many.
[01:04:04] Speaker B: Yeah, it's a lot.
[01:04:06] Speaker C: So many. I just.
[01:04:07] Speaker B: But I mean, when I.
[01:04:09] Speaker C: When I read all the things, it's like, why would you think that one thing.
[01:04:13] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:04:15] Speaker C: You know, it can just explain a whole gender of people, you know?
[01:04:22] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:04:22] Speaker C: And so when I heard recently, I'll say this, on Black Portland, this girl said something to the effect that she met a guy and he was saying that she wasn't dateable or something like that because she had kids. Kids. Oh, yeah. And.
Yeah. And so that was really weird to me. And she was like, well, is this why, you know, men are like. Are all men like this? Importantly, why the dating pool is like, how it is? And I get tired of the word dating pool, tired of the word toxic, tired of the word narcissist, tired of the trending words. So many trending words. But, yeah, you know, but that's a big deal. I think that's one of the biggest myths. You know, one of them is that if you have children or if you're of a certain age, you're no longer dateable.
And, you know, as you get older, it's like wine, you know? What does wine do as it gets older? It gets better.
[01:05:08] Speaker A: It gets better.
[01:05:09] Speaker C: It should, right?
[01:05:10] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:05:12] Speaker C: So that's a huge myth to me.
[01:05:13] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:05:13] Speaker C: And then even the kids. Kids are considered blessings, you know, so how. How are blessings something that. And if a woman can handle them, if a man comes in and adds two or the other way around, it should be better. You shouldn't be fearing that or saying you're not dateable.
[01:05:29] Speaker A: Right.
[01:05:30] Speaker C: You know, So I think those are myths.
[01:05:31] Speaker A: Yeah. I went on a. Like a live dating thing one time and where, like, I was kind of just, like, I was just experimenting. So I was like, okay, I go on this little live. This lady asked me questions, whatever. But I had went. I tell the story early in the season, but another person had gone. A guy had went on there, and he was divorced. Had kids, everything. And it was like, the feedback was great. Like, oh, this look, this man, he's single, he's a father, he's divorced. He's looking for love. Oh, he's a good man. I got on their single divorce with. With kids. You should have just stayed with your husband. Oh, he left you.
[01:06:00] Speaker C: Why?
[01:06:00] Speaker A: You know, and it was a totally different dynamic. And I was like, oh, A, never doing this again.
B, why is it okay for a man to be one thing and the woman would be the same thing? And it's treated totally different. Not to mention it's like, why is a woman damaged for being in that position? And the men is looked as like he's put on a pedestal for the same thing.
[01:06:21] Speaker B: Yeah, that's crazy.
[01:06:22] Speaker A: Yeah. And I always find it to be weird, but, you know, those generalizations, I.
[01:06:26] Speaker B: Still think it comes down to values. That's why we have to have updated value systems that people. Because that's. I think that's a flaw of value. And I think values need to be deeper than that.
[01:06:35] Speaker A: Right.
[01:06:36] Speaker B: You know, because then ultimately, I mean, whether she got. If she could not have kids and still drive you to the crazy home like that, that don't mean nothing. You know what I'm saying? So we gotta have better values, what we stand on, you know, and if kids come with that and they alignment with the values, then the kids come with that, you know, but the goal is to make sure that. That their values is on point.
[01:06:56] Speaker A: Right.
[01:06:57] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:06:57] Speaker A: No, that makes sense. What kind of advice would you give to somebody who is either newly in a relationship looking for love? Like how to find essentially what y' all got?
[01:07:08] Speaker C: Personally, I would tell them to look at their goals. What are your future goals? What are your strengths, weaknesses? Compare them to theirs.
They should have a list. I had a list, you know, before I had it written everywhere. Be quiet.
I showed him one of my. Maybe a couple of my lists. I had them everywhere, all different books. Here's what. Thank you, God for. Da da, da, da da. You know, and so.
But I think you need to know, focus more on what you do want versus what you don't want, you know, because there's a difference in saying, I don't want to date a liar and saying, I want a man who tells the truth, you know, I want someone who's honest, that feels better. Right, right, right. And it's saying, I don't want a cheater. I want a man that's loyal, you know, and so to make that list, you know, of the attributes that you want, that's what I would do.
[01:07:59] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:08:00] Speaker C: And don't compromise. Make for sure you're not silencing your gut when you know you're getting to know this person, when you start seeing things and feeling things, that's for a reason. So you have to make note of that.
[01:08:11] Speaker A: Right.
[01:08:12] Speaker C: I would even make note of where you're feeling it at where in my body do I feel this feeling when this person does X, y things matter.
[01:08:20] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:08:20] Speaker C: You know, so if you want something real, you have to be real, right. With yourself and that other person.
So some things might be uncomfortable, but go ahead and talk about it, you know, don't stop talking.
[01:08:32] Speaker B: Yeah. And what I. And specifically for the men, I mean, one thing I think that bothers me about a lot of my partners who'll be coming with advice or looking for advice is like, they need to learn how to be single first. You know what I'm saying? It's like. Like I want to see many understand the importance of independence and understand the importance of having time to reflect, you know, and put in many the space away from the world for a moment so that they can process who they are and what they're doing. And that's where they find God. And they have this conversation with God in that space, and God's like, this is who you are.
Anything outside of that is not you. And then your boundaries are starting to get. Get set, and then your values are starting to. Starting to set. And so my issue is that these guys that keep dating, right, they keep dating, they keep moving in. Like, they. Some of them have never, like, had their own space before. They don't know what it's like to. A man needs to, you know, like, if I didn't have space, if I always under a woman or under somebody, I wouldn't really know fully who I am, right? I wouldn't. There's no way I would have been able. Prepared for a relationship because I would have, you know, got with Keela and I would ask her to help me find myself, and she'd have been like.
She'd have rubbed her knees like that, right?
[01:09:51] Speaker A: Like, that's one of them things that I said. Nope too, you know, and so men.
[01:09:56] Speaker B: You know, I mean, you know, you really. Once you find yourself, it's an easy system after that. And now your. Your system is structured to your truth. So men need to be able to locate their truth, and they got to create a life around their truth and everything that they do and say. And it's got to be. It's got to be parallel with that. And then. Then you can attract, right? And then. Then the right people can see you, you know, and so that's one thing that I would always say. I'm gonna just speak for men. I mean, I'm not gonna speak for women, but. But just for men. I mean, I really want them to understand what it's like to be alone and take care of yourself just for a moment, not for life, but just so you can sit with yourself and update and strengthen who you are and your system. And then when you go out into a system, you recognize women easier. You recognize the differences in them, the reason why you think they're all the same, because you haven't had space away from any of them.
Right. And so that's the problem that men are having. They think getting up under another one is the next move. But in the end, it still keeps you confused, because if you don't know who you are, you don't know who they are.
[01:11:06] Speaker A: Yep. Taking your same self into it, it's a different environment. It's gonna yield the same results.
[01:11:10] Speaker B: Yeah. And so, yeah, we need space. We need some space to process and figure out exactly what we're doing.
[01:11:15] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:11:16] Speaker B: And, Amanda, I do believe a man needs to find purpose and purpose first principles. You know what I'm saying? And then you align your woman with that. This is the first time I actually. You know, and again, I've been through it too. Right. So I'm not saying it like, oh, I've been always happy it together. No. I've dated outside of my energy structure a couple times, and it never makes sense.
[01:11:37] Speaker A: Right.
[01:11:38] Speaker B: You know, and then I was like, okay, cool, I'm taking that out of the formula, and now I'm only allowed to date this type of person. And that's just the way it is. And if it's not that, then it's nothing.
[01:11:47] Speaker A: Right.
[01:11:47] Speaker B: And so I had no problem saying no. Or, like, dating a woman for maybe a few months. Like, nah, I'm good. You know what I'm saying? Like, simple. I don't feel bad about it. Like, somebody got to protect me too.
[01:11:58] Speaker A: Yeah. And people are entitled to say no. Like, you're entitled to say, this ain't working for her. Shut up.
[01:12:05] Speaker B: Because the thing was at stake. Your mental health is at stake. Your peace is at stake.
You know what I'm saying? Your woman and your man is a big part of where your pieces.
[01:12:13] Speaker A: I think people get a sense of entitlement when you are like, okay, I've accepted your pursuit, and now somehow people feel like you're obligated to stay in that and you can say like, no, I realize that this just ain't for me. And it's okay to say that it's okay to say no.
So I love that. Where can people find you individually for your businesses, for mentorship, for healing, for whatever it is that y' all do. Like, where can they find you? Social media, websites, all the things.
[01:12:43] Speaker C: You got the longer list.
[01:12:44] Speaker A: Lord have mercy.
[01:12:46] Speaker B: All right, all right. I'm acking kicks, man. On Instagram, that's stacking. No G kicks with a Z, no S at the end.
I'm also at IG and Mr. David Jefferson. That's my real name.
Oh, we also have Return Black to Love pdx, don't we?
That would be rbtl PDX at Instagram.
And then, you know, stacking kicks on Facebook.
David Jefferson.
[01:13:15] Speaker A: Okay, and where's your store located?
[01:13:17] Speaker B: I'm at the Lloyd Center Mall. Depending on when it's come out, I might be a Clackamas.
[01:13:23] Speaker A: I love it, I love it.
[01:13:24] Speaker C: Okay, so you can find me on IG at say my name in cursive. Cursive with a K or brown sugar. But no, don't worry about that page. Say my name Incursive.
Also energy elements. And that's I, N N, E, R, G. And then elements.
That's on IG as well. And on Facebook, it's say my name Incursive. And the energy elements.
[01:13:48] Speaker A: Beautiful.
[01:13:48] Speaker B: We're going to get those at.
[01:13:49] Speaker C: I was going to say the body Butters. And I'm going to have other things so you can get.
[01:13:54] Speaker B: Oh, those are Stacking Kicks right now.
[01:13:56] Speaker C: Yes, those are at Stacking Kicks headquarters in the Lloyd Center.
Or, you know, you can contact me on either of the pages and get them until I get my store.
[01:14:08] Speaker A: I love it. I love it. Oh, I see a stacking kicks and say my name in cursive, like side by side type of thing happening. Oh, yeah, I love it. No, she's like, no, I need my space. She's like, mm, mm.
I love it. I love it. Well, you can find my co host who isn't here, but. But you can follow her health journey. Right now it's NickBnickB. That's Nick with the K.
I'm also gonna highlight my. My guest co host this season who is here for a few of the episodes. She's got the Milani vegan hair care products and we're doing a feature every episode. So this right here is the soothe conditioner. It is like a tea tree peppermint oil type feel. It's tingles. It gives all the stuff that if, you know, you have dry scalp and all the things and it feels bomb on your hair. It detangles, it smooths, it does all the things. But you can find
[email protected] and if you use the code LEE L E I G H you get a little bit of extra discounts a courtesy of me. Thank you. I'm not paying for it, but you get a discount and then you can also find her at Instagram Milani by Shadowbox.
But other than that, you can find me everywhere. Leela Re L E I G H L A R I e on all social media platforms, as well as Dirty Roses Podcast and DirtyRosesPodcast.com make sure you like, follow, subscribe and do all those things. Share it with your friends and make sure that you catch us next time. We'll see you then. Thanks.
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